Board index › Coping in life › Social Skills and Making Friends

Any thoughts on this situation

Page 3 of 3 [ 40 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3

Previous topic | Next topic

quite an extreme
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Aug 2018
Age: 324
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,922
Location: Germany

07 Feb 2019, 8:45 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
He did talk about an ex-wife but he still had a wedding ring on.

Nobody wears a ring that connects him with his ex. He could be a widower but it doesn't really count. You can't trust him. He tries your limits. Reject him hard or he'll become an even bigger problem. Don't let him touch you. Reject him loud, angry and hard otherwise he will ignore it. Stop being nice and talking to him and and even greeting. Turn away demonstratively once you see him. Take some pepper spray with you.



ShyGirl7
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 209
Location: Florida

08 Feb 2019, 6:35 am

BeaArthur wrote:
He is trying to get to know you. I don't see anything concerning in it. What seems like an invasion of your space may not be, in an NT world. But you are within your rights to set limits and stick to them.


Um, Bea..

The other stuff might be normal NT stuff - but she said he touched her waist.

That's not typical, even for NTs.

Have you been arguing too much with Blanche and Rose to notice this? >:P



ShyGirl7
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 209
Location: Florida

08 Feb 2019, 7:52 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
You shouldn't need to alter your personal schedule by taking an earlier bus to avoid this person. That's an inconvenience on your part, but I agree it's worth it for the time being.

If you see him again (and I'm certain you will), snap a candid photo from afar. Print the photo and keep it somewhere accessible at home, or send it to a trusted friend with a brief explanation about what is going on. Document any times he touches you or refuses to take 'no' for an answer. Backdate your notes if you can. Include the bus route information or anything else you know about him. If anything malicious comes of this, the history will be important.

I hope I'm overreacting, but your story has given me a panic attack. He's being insidious and he is 100% grooming you, even if he's doing it subconsciously. You need to be proactive.


100% Agreed.



ShyGirl7
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 209
Location: Florida

08 Feb 2019, 8:03 am

Summer_Twilight wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
This is getting creepier by the moment and hitting a bit too close to home. Block him from your email and / or any other form of communication including text etc., immediately. Change your mobile number if blocking him is unsuccessful. It's a pain but it's usually free of charge, and I've done it myself. If you think he is creeping your Facebook or other social media, block him, block public access to your "Friends" List, amp your security settings and / or change your account name. If he has access to your work address (via an email signature), advise the HR department where you work in case he comes onto the property. He can't be restricted from most premises without a court order but I would certainly make this known.

He's a big boy. He can use LinkedIn to network. He doesn't need to be involving you, or causing you stress of this magnitude.

PM me if there are any additional problems but my advice is to be extremely proactive if you feel this level of concern.


Thank you very much :D IsabellaLinton and I will be sure to talk to my boss about and show them his picture which I now have a copy of. I notified the bus company so they can contact the driver about him and I am gathering every bit of evidence including the email. I am going to talk to the security guards about him as well in case he tries to set foot on the property. If he calls my number, I will hang up on him and then call security.


:wtg:



ShyGirl7
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 209
Location: Florida

08 Feb 2019, 8:13 am

quite an extreme wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
He did talk about an ex-wife but he still had a wedding ring on.

Nobody wears a ring that connects him with his ex. He could be a widower but it doesn't really count. You can't trust him. He tries your limits. Reject him hard or he'll become an even bigger problem. Don't let him touch you. Reject him loud, angry and hard otherwise he will ignore it. Stop being nice and talking to him and and even greeting. Turn away demonstratively once you see him. Take some pepper spray with you.


Also agreed.

This guy sounds like a freak, and carrying pepper spray is a good idea.



Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,157

08 Feb 2019, 1:10 pm

ShyGirl7 wrote:
quite an extreme wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
He did talk about an ex-wife but he still had a wedding ring on.

Nobody wears a ring that connects him with his ex. He could be a widower but it doesn't really count. You can't trust him. He tries your limits. Reject him hard or he'll become an even bigger problem. Don't let him touch you. Reject him loud, angry and hard otherwise he will ignore it. Stop being nice and talking to him and and even greeting. Turn away demonstratively once you see him. Take some pepper spray with you.


Also agreed.

This guy sounds like a freak, and carrying pepper spray is a good idea.


I have a whistle



IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 68,594
Location: Chez Quis

08 Feb 2019, 1:11 pm

Have you seen him this week?


_________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.


Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,157

08 Feb 2019, 1:32 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Have you seen him this week?


Yes, but it was yesterday afternoon while I was on the train but I saw him in a different car and he was looking down so I moved away from him so a spot where I would not look at him or that he would not see me. I started feeling sick and scared when I saw him. Luckily, I got off safely and moved onto what I needed to do.

As for taking the earlier bus, I was planning on it for months anyway because the bus I was riding on was getting me to the train that I needed to be on which was making me 15-20 minute late for work each other. So it's nice to be at the office 30 minutes before work. I can also go out for breakfast now before work too.