Puzzled why gorgeous social NT woman is attracted to me.

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MrRusty
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06 Feb 2019, 3:38 am

I'm not in a bad place, but I'm curious as to why I'm there at all.

I met a really gorgeous woman over the holidays. I might just say that it's very rare for me to be attracted to anyone at first meeting, but I certainly noticed her. We seemed to spend a lot of time talking, we have the same tastes in music, and a similar sense of humour. She's attracted to me, we've been texting & chatting to each other for several weeks. She's very social, and talks to everyone, and seems to make friends everywhere. Rather the opposite to me, I'm not shy, but I don't have many friends and prefer small groups of people to big parties. We met on a group camping trip so she had plenty of opportunity to see me make my usual conversational faux pas, forget peoples' names, talk about inappropriate subjects, etc.

So my big question is, why would a highly attractive woman be interested in me, who is well down on social competency, probably 5 years older than her and doesn't look nearly as good in a bikini as she does. I mean she could literally get any man she wanted.



BTDT
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06 Feb 2019, 3:41 am

"We seemed to spend a lot of time talking, we have the same tastes in music, and a similar sense of humour."

Much more important than how you look.



auntblabby
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06 Feb 2019, 3:49 am

OP, don't look a gifthorse in the mouth. [amuuurican expression for just be thankful]



BeaArthur
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07 Feb 2019, 9:59 am

MrRusty wrote:
She's very social, and talks to everyone, and seems to make friends everywhere.

It sounds like she is very inclusive in her approach to other people. Lots of us Aspies, for all that we are lonely and can't start a relationship, are constantly finding fault with others. Maybe you could learn a life lesson from her (such as, find the good in other people) and then I suggest you sit back and enjoy the ride.


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SportsGamer35728
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07 Feb 2019, 10:35 am

Don't overthink this for ONE SECOND LONGER. Most of the men on this forum would absolutely kill to be in your shoes. Just take the ball you've been given and run as far as you can with it! Best of luck :mrgreen:



kraftiekortie
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07 Feb 2019, 10:35 am

You're overthinking this.....just proceed forward :D



Fnord
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07 Feb 2019, 10:36 am

Why ask 'Why?'"?

Enjoy the moment and make the best of it!



Benjamin the Donkey
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08 Feb 2019, 8:50 pm

MrRusty wrote:
... We have the same tastes in music, and a similar sense of humour.

That's good for a start. Also, many women, especially in their 30s or older, don't have appearance or age as a top priority in a partner. And a 5-year difference is nothing at your age. My wife is 18 years younger and beautiful, and she still fell for me.

Just go with it and don't let insecurity hold you back.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Feb 2019, 2:59 am

Don’t put her on pedestal and be careful, get to know her well first.
I am talking as a man who got cheated after 2 years of relationship by who I was used to think as the perfect angel.

There are many gold diggers who hunt for older men in holiday scenes, and yes they come in all ages, especially thosr who look good in a bikini and apparently can get any man.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 09 Feb 2019, 3:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

nick007
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09 Feb 2019, 3:00 am

I'd be concerned with the fact that she's very social. If your introverted & are OK with yourself that way, she could push you into situations where you have to be more outgoing & social which may drain you & stress you out. I'm NOT saying you shouldn't pursue things with her because of that risk but it's a red flag to watch for. There's a saying & song that goes~ "Opposites Attract" but that does NOT automatically mean they are compatible.


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Bellalina
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13 Feb 2019, 9:22 pm

I am a NT and considered highly attractive.
I am dating an AT. Average looks, Hes a little awkward but I find it adorable. I enjoy his honesty, And I'm absolutely attracted to his Mind And the fact that he is a beautiful person.
I am on this forum better understand him.
I would be willing to offer you insight on the opposite side.

Pq



auntblabby
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13 Feb 2019, 9:42 pm

^^^welcome to our club, Bella :flower:



Ichinin
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14 Feb 2019, 12:41 am

MrRusty wrote:
So my big question is, why would a highly attractive woman be interested in me, who is well down on social competency, probably 5 years older than her and doesn't look nearly as good in a bikini as she does. I mean she could literally get any man she wanted.


Maybe she did have "any man she wanted" and got tired of them. Like Auntblabby said, gifthorse.

Maybe you look younger than your age, i hear this lots here on WP. I get girls who are 20 something looking at me (as in staring at me, twirling their hair, looking in window reflection and smiling when i notice) for reasons i cannot understand (cant be that many girls with daddy issues) but i do look younger than 45 (maybe i look 30-ish), i don't try to understand them. If someone is interested, i'm not going to question her choice.


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