Making my first friends in years as an Aspie

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MC1729
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07 Feb 2019, 1:02 am

I've very rarely had true peer relationships (other than online) with anyone due to my lack of social skills (in one case I thought I had friends but they were bullying/manipulating me), but thanks to therapy and heavy encouragement from my parents I am starting to talk to other students at my college. It's difficult and awkward, but I'm glad I'm doing it and hopefully I can find someone who shares my interests and whom I'm comfortable talking to. Any advice for making friends?


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Never give up, never surrender. - Galaxy Quest

AQ Score: 46 out of 50

EQ Score: 5 out of 80

RDOS Score: Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 145 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 51 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


BeaArthur
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07 Feb 2019, 4:08 pm

Learn people's names. That's a big one.

The more often you see someone, the more natural it is to build a friendship with them. So if they are your lab partner or they participate in the same campus organizations, it will be easier to get to know them.

Use one of the social media apps early on, as it helps you figure out who's who and also allows you to send DMs. Just remember, social media can be a trap and people are not "real" friends just because they are on FB, Twitter, WhatsApp, Instagram, etc. I view it as sort of a virtual filing system - an organizational tool, nothing more.

Don't get overly invested in any one person, of either gender. It puts too great a burden on them and drives people away.


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quite an extreme
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07 Feb 2019, 9:03 pm

MC1729 wrote:
Any advice for making friends?

You need to learn eye contact while staying positive and how to shake hands right in first step. The ones who like you will try to socialize with you afterwards.



MC1729
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08 Feb 2019, 11:56 am

Thank you for the advice! I am currently working on eye contact and will be sure to keep in mind that I really don’t know most of my friends online. And I’m terrible with names, but I will work on it.


_________________
Never give up, never surrender. - Galaxy Quest

AQ Score: 46 out of 50

EQ Score: 5 out of 80

RDOS Score: Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 145 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 51 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)