Always right when I am Negative

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climategeek
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11 Feb 2019, 3:11 am

A couple of years ago, my first and only My ex girlfriend broke up with me after she found out I was autistic. Long Story short many girls rejected me when they found out I had autism because I told them, so I wised up and didn't tell the next girl, who was from my psychology class. Well it worked, for about 5 months, eventually the ruse was discovered and she asked me if I was autistic and I tried changing the subject, but she insisted , so I told her I was autistic. She asked me why I kept it from her, and I told her about my past in dealing with discrimination and abelism in the form of rejections by other girls so I didn't want to take the chance. Ironically, nearly every negative prediction I ever made in my life ended up coming true up to that point, and I also predicted she would find out and break up with me when she did.

She told me a story about her brother who like me was autistic, and we both had Asperger's Syndrome. She even told me to keep up her own stupid ruse as we were leaving the restaurant that she can't wait to see me next time. When I was out of earshot with her I mumbled, "Yeah right" to myself and continued walking. As I kept walking, I pulled out my phone in order to make a video, one predicting that the abelist b***h was going to break up with me. I actually started the video and was about one minute in which I was predicting that she was going to break up with me, when she sent me a text saying it was over between us. In the video I cussed out loud and said, Just as I said, she just sent me a text as I was walking home, seems this b***h can't even wait to break with me one minute after she says "see you next time" as you can see, I am always right when I am negative.

I texted her back, I know Im='m not stupid, I am actually making a video predicting you will break up with me, and you sent me the text in the middle of the video you stupid dumb ass. Also ik, you're breaking with me cuz I'm autistic, and don't try to blame me like It's because I didn't tell you I was autistic, if you weren't a piece of s**t, you wouldn't broken up with me for something as SIMPLE AS THAT YOU ABELIST TRUMP SUPPORTING SCUMBAG!

EXCUSE ME?! WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!

I said to her, answer my question first, why did you break up with me?

She said, "Yes I broke up with u because u r retarded and autistic, also u were dishonest with me. Also you implied that I was going 2 break with U simply because u r disabled, while u were right, u judged me and u even confessed u didn't tell me because u thought I was like the other girls. That's why I am breaking up with u.

I texted her back in all caps, READ TO ME THE FIRST LINE BEFORE YOU SAID I WAS DISHONEST YOU f*****g W****!

After I sent her that, she called me, therefore ending the video and we got into a very heated altercation and she said, "I was just joking you as*hole, after the text you just sent me, IT'S OVER!! !! She screamed at me at the top of her lungs, and I screamed back, DON'T YOU f*****g GUILT TRIP ME YOU STUPID S***!

She hung up the phone on me and blocked my #.

The next day in class, no one wanted to sit next to me. I asked one of my still loyal friends, but who kept her distance from me out of fear of being judged. She told me I had cheated on her, and when she broke up with me, I went berserk on her and assaulted her.

I went to the front of the class, and I plugged in my phone to the computer, and showed the entire class our message history, which unfortunately also included me calling my now ex girlfriend some very horrible words. The entire class looked in shock at my ex and all sat away from her, and upon discovering that her gig was up and that she was found out for the abelist Piece of s**t she really was, she ran out of the classroom crying like the b***h she was.

I felt sorry for her, so I sat next to her while still waiting for my teacher to come to class, she screamed at me to go away and resumed crying hysterically.

As much as I felt vindicated just moments ago, I now felt horrible guilt as I realized I might haven taken things too far to get back at my ex.

When I got back, most of my friends still didn't want to sit with me, both because of the things I said to her, and because I caused her to burst into tears and run out in the successful attempt to exonerate myself.

Basically it was a Pyrrhic victory as even though I got the truth out, I lost a lot of friends in the end, including my ex. By the time the semester ended, I only regained half of my friends back, and the one who caused all the problems got all her friends back. In the end I was the loser not her, I guess I was always destined to lose. to this day, I am still single, maybe I deserve that for always being pessimistic and for the way I treated her.

Also, no matter how good I have done on job interviews, being dressed properly, shaved, showered, and even dressing in a suit and tie for a regular interview (As I feel that because the workforce is so abelist, I need to dress so sharply to convince them to hire me by taking the interview that seriously). I had an interview a few months ago in which I was called for immediately as I applied the same day as the offering was posted and I was called later that day for a game stop interview for the next day because of my 4 years of customer service experience at Staples and also my passion for video games, especially the then upcoming Ace Combat 7 game.

At the same time, I needed to convince my ACCES-VR job counselor that I didn't need job interview, or work readiness training as she had the abelist mentality that the reason I wasn't getting hired was because of how I conduct myself during interviews. To prove her wrong, I asked my AHRC job coach to accompany me to the interview and to just observe me and nothing else.

She told me that she had to tell the interviewer/hiring manager of my diagnosis. To basically warn her what I was trying to tell her, I showed her an article from the autistic self advocacy network of an autistic man who was called for an interview and as soon as he revealed his diagnosis of Asperger's he was immediately told the position wasn't available and then the US government under the Obama administration sued the company for disability discrimination.

I told her that was going to happen, but she didn't believe me and told me to be positive.

when we arrived at the interview, I greeted the interviewer, shook hands and I made my best to make near constant eye contact, (not to the point of being intrusive, but enough that I appeared neurotypical) It wasn't until my job coach told them I was autistic that the interviewer knew anything. But the job coach did vouch for my skills and told them how much of a loyal and hardworking employee I was at staples and how I was more productive than most employees there, and she told them about the hourly cuts and informed them I was only working one day a week and I was struggling to pay for school and was depressed because of it.

I basically gave up hope at that point, but to not appear hopeless, I asked the manager when can I start as just before my job coach told them I was autistic, she seemed really eager to hire me. She informed me that the "Position of customer service is no longer available at this location as we already found someone else. I asked why if they found someone else, they me for an interview for a position that mo longer existed. I wasn't stupid I knew they were lying and I made sure they knew that I was aware of what they were doing was illegal.

My job coach motioned for me to not question their decisions.

We left the establishment, but not before they told me call as there might be a position available at another location by the end of next week.

I made another bet that they will still be recruiting for the same position in about 10 days after the interview with job coach.

After I called them in 10 days as the interview was on a Tuesday and the job was placed on that Monday, I called the store and even though I saw numerous locations hiring for the position I wanted, but when I called they told me no one was hiring for that position anywhere.

I called my job coach and informed her of what happened and I also told her that they were still recruiting for the same position I was told 10 days prior wasn't available, and she did tell me that was odd, but didn't believe I was discriminated against as I knew had happened.

Also at my location at staples I am not allowed to work the registers or the tech department because I am autistic, as I got the job through AHRC. Also, there is a friend of mine who is also on the spectrum, but he never disclosed his diagnosis and because he passes off so well as neurotypical, as I do, (The difference is the store knows I have autism, not him) so they let him work the registers and the tech department for the past 4 years, while I was stuck on average working only 4 a week!! !

My manager told me if I wanted more hours I needed to sale ESP (Extended service plans) to tech and office supplies items. Basically I am supposed to pitch the sale and if I get it, a cashier is supposed to put it in for me. I would pitch the sale near the cash register to demonstrate to the cashiers that I did the work, so they do not take my credit as I feel the cashiers usually discriminate against me because they are abelsit pieces of crap. One week I almost made $200 in ESP sales, which would have made me in the top 3 for sales in the entire f*****g store, but I had a feeling many of the cashiers were taking credit for the work I did, so I asked the managers to check the ESP sales. I was only credited for $40!! ! Both when I was standing behind the registers to ensure the cashiers were putting in my name, not their's.

Also, my manager warned I was going to get written up if I stood behind the register and dictate to the cashiers to put my name in for the work I did.

I usually have the fewest hours in the entire store, as most associates have between 12-16 hours.

I don't know whenever I am negative about something I am always right. Ugh



BeaArthur
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11 Feb 2019, 11:11 am

climategeek wrote:
I don't know whenever I am negative about something I am always right. Ugh

Self-fulfilling prophecy.

The way you tried to embarrass your ex-girlfriend publicly in class is why autistic people get bad press generally and yourself in particular.

You can't legislate or litigate that a workplace treat you as you feel you ought to be. They are there to conduct business while you are there to prove that you are going to be mistreated.

Practice this mantra, for a couple years: Let. It. Go.


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climategeek
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11 Feb 2019, 12:35 pm

I just had a feeling that if my job coach disclose my diagnosis to the GameStop interviewer she was going to deny me the job even though they were hiring, which is what happened.

Also I don't know why the cashiers are taking advantage of me as they don't do this to the other associates. I told the managers many times about this but they're taking their side and not mine.

I just graduated Community College so hopefully I will find a better job in the future that won't discriminate against me. :D



kraftiekortie
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11 Feb 2019, 12:38 pm

Your best bet would be to not mention your autism at all.....that's just my opinion.



fifasy
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11 Feb 2019, 12:39 pm

The night is darkest just before dawn.



Prometheus18
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11 Feb 2019, 12:40 pm

I'm shocked that somebody who uses the words "retarded" and "autistic" as insults is doing a psychology degree and thus, presumably intends to become a psychologist; not to mention her appalling lack of English skills.


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11 Feb 2019, 1:26 pm

Damn, talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. The way you act gives the rest of us autistics a bad rap.



Jayo
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11 Feb 2019, 1:44 pm

Brother, I've been there, believe me - like the proverbial wisdom goes, sometimes you have to dig through a lot of sh*t before you find the (golden) pony. I took each failed date as a progressive learning experience, where I wrote down a digest of what went well and what could have gone better - then gradually my social intuition sharpened b/c of all the practice. While an NT might have to go thru 3-5 dates, we'd have to go through 20-25 of them.

Eventually, it got to the point where I could "pass" for an NT, and having the looks, physique, and well-paying CS/IT career certainly helped :)

But, yeah, I've had the moments where I was compelled to do that "incel rant" - but always kept it private, writing down my negative sentiments after and deleted the file once things went well with someone. :wink:

IF you want to use a "shortcut", and this may be controversial, tell the young lady (or any peers who offer prospective friendship) that you had a TBI after you were hit by a drunk driver while on your bike, and only your helmet saved you. (TBI = traumatic brain injury) You can play it up by saying that it's almost 100% recoverable after the right attitude, regimen, and counselling, and that you are very resilient. That would stave off any pity-party that they think you may be expecting. At least, it would sow the seeds of doubt if they tried to subconsciously put you in the "genetically inferior" category. Because I hate to say this, but no female who realizes that you have a stigmatized genetic deficiency is gonna want you anywhere NEAR her reproductive organs, condom or no condom 8O



Zack1994
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11 Feb 2019, 1:50 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Your best bet would be to not mention your autism at all.....that's just my opinion.


Yeah well he felt like he was going to be burned on the stake and called out on a witch trial if he didn't admit it.



kraftiekortie
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11 Feb 2019, 1:53 pm

If you read carefully, you will notice that there are instances where the OP is doing just fine----until autism is mentioned.



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11 Feb 2019, 2:29 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
If you read carefully, you will notice that there are instances where the OP is doing just fine----until autism is mentioned.


PRECISELY. It's so f___ng stigmatized, that's why it drives >95% of people away. Hence the flippant response so many of us have gotten upon mentioning it, "Oh! I don't think you really have it, it's all in your head" - then those people avoid us after.

Psychiatric disorders are, have been, and will continue to be frowned upon by the vast majority of society.
Especially in the dating realm, when a woman thinks of what kind of kids she might produce from someone with such a disorder!!