Page 2 of 3 [ 34 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

blackicmenace
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2016
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,209
Location: Sagittarius A

13 Feb 2019, 8:36 pm

Kitty, something tells me you are hearing what others are saying, but you are not listening to what everyone is trying to tell you. Please don't let this person set your boundaries, you are free as a bird and if he won't let you fly you might really want to think about what people that care about you are trying to tell you. Sometimes when someone has strong feelings about someone else they want to overlook the negative, please don't tune us out Kitty.


_________________
Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.” ― Bertrand Russell


IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 20,404
Location: In a Book

13 Feb 2019, 8:43 pm

Are you happy to have a boyfriend you've never met, whom you've never kissed, who doesn't help you from day to day, who is on the other side of the world from you and telling you not to be friends with other guys? Don't you see that this is emotional abuse because he wants you to feel guilty for having friends? If he's this possessive without even meeting you, can you imagine how controlling he would be in person? This is not normal, Kitty. None of it is. Sorry to be honest but we all agree. Don't let him tell you his behaviour is "romantic" ... because it isn't.



Kitty4670
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,162
Location: Up on Cloud #9 & won't be home tonight

13 Feb 2019, 11:06 pm

blackicmenace wrote:
Kitty, something tells me you are hearing what others are saying, but you are not listening to what everyone is trying to tell you. Please don't let this person set your boundaries, you are free as a bird and if he won't let you fly you might really want to think about what people that care about you are trying to tell you. Sometimes when someone has strong feelings about someone else they want to overlook the negative, please don't tune us out Kitty.

I already know this, I’m thinking of breaking up with him.


_________________
You are my shining star that shine so bright that guide me to the light, so keep on rockin', cuz That's Rock and Roll


blackicmenace
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2016
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,209
Location: Sagittarius A

14 Feb 2019, 12:51 am

Kitty4670 wrote:
blackicmenace wrote:
Kitty, something tells me you are hearing what others are saying, but you are not listening to what everyone is trying to tell you. Please don't let this person set your boundaries, you are free as a bird and if he won't let you fly you might really want to think about what people that care about you are trying to tell you. Sometimes when someone has strong feelings about someone else they want to overlook the negative, please don't tune us out Kitty.

I already know this, I’m thinking of breaking up with him.

Okay, I am sorry. As the saying goes, there are plenty of fish in the sea.


_________________
Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.” ― Bertrand Russell


auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 82,124
Location: the island of defective toy santas

14 Feb 2019, 12:55 am

Kitty, you are still young, you have plenty of time still.



Kitty4670
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,162
Location: Up on Cloud #9 & won't be home tonight

15 Feb 2019, 2:28 am

auntblabby wrote:
Kitty, you are still young, you have plenty of time still.


I’m still young :lol: I’m 48 :( :cry: :cry:


_________________
You are my shining star that shine so bright that guide me to the light, so keep on rockin', cuz That's Rock and Roll


auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 82,124
Location: the island of defective toy santas

15 Feb 2019, 4:16 am

Kitty4670 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Kitty, you are still young, you have plenty of time still.


I’m still young :lol: I’m 48 :( :cry: :cry:

over a decade younger than me.



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 29,714
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

15 Feb 2019, 6:38 pm

AngelRho wrote:
I don’t entirely agree. It might be control. But I also feel it’s about loyalty. If you’re committed to someone, what are you doing spending time with other men?

It’s not cool to bring that up, and I understand why. But it also makes men (AND WOMEN!! !) powerless to expect that their SO won’t either fall into temptation to cheat or fall prey to a manipulator. I know good and well I’m attracted to other women and prone to cheating. What do I do about it? I stay away from women I’m not married to.

And I can say without a single ounce of projection that yes, a lot of men will take advantage of women at the first opportunity and con women into believing it’s what THEY want or that it was THEIR idea. It’s not my wife I mistrust. It’s other men. If you say you are committed to someone in a relationship, you should ACT like it and not invite trouble. Knowing that others want you and acting like the feelings of SO’s don’t matter is not the way to show your love for someone. It shows you want someone else’s attention. Why risk it? If your friendships with MOOS are more important to you than with your SO, maybe you’re not that serious about the relationship and you should end it.

And yes, I’m serious about all of that.

That said, however...

I generally take a negative view of online-only relationships. It looks to me that those are really mostly fantasy relationships anyway. If it were me, I’d divulge relatively little about my meatspace relationships and just do whatever I wanted. You’re not being dishonest. It’s just what you do with other men is flat none of his business. I mean...do you honestly believe he’s not seeing other women? People do often project their own guilt onto their partners. He might be jealous of your other men because he’s struggling with actual cheating himself.

I’m not in a position to say he’s right OR that he’s being controlling. Only you can say. Perhaps, though, you do need to assess just how important he is to you and how much he really deserves to know about your personal life.


So if one enters into an exclusive relationship they should cut off all their friends who are the same sex as their partner. Or once in a relationship from that point forward the only person of the opposite gender they can interact with in a friendly manner is their partner.

I am glad in me and my boyfriends relationship we have a simple thing called trust and we both have enough self control to be aware of finding other people attractive...and then not acting on it. I'd hate a relationship where we're both checking up on each other to make sure the other isn't cheating because neither one of us can trust ourselves to keep our pants on around other men/women.

I mean its understandable for a person to get suspicious if their partner is constantly going off to hang out with some other guy/girl. But almost sounds like you think it's inappropriate for someone in a relationship to even interact with another man or woman than their partner. That seems a bit extreme.


_________________
All we do crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see
Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind


Kitty4670
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,162
Location: Up on Cloud #9 & won't be home tonight

16 Feb 2019, 2:06 am

It’s just talking to guys online, not hanging out in person, I don’t have alot of male friends anyway. I already gave up two guy friends, they were from the dating app.


_________________
You are my shining star that shine so bright that guide me to the light, so keep on rockin', cuz That's Rock and Roll


IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 20,404
Location: In a Book

16 Feb 2019, 2:11 am

Will you stop being friends with the men on WP?
Posting back and forth with men on here is the same thing as "talking to guys online".



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,073
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

16 Feb 2019, 3:07 am

My ex girlfriend was jealous like that, she wanted me to stop chatting with other women especially those who are younger than her.
Yet she cheated on me with two men on two different times.

Me on the other hand, never put my nose in her ‘friendships’.

Trust? I can’t afford this anymore.



Kitty4670
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,162
Location: Up on Cloud #9 & won't be home tonight

16 Feb 2019, 4:07 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Will you stop being friends with the men on WP?
Posting back and forth with men on here is the same thing as "talking to guys online".


I will still be their friend.


_________________
You are my shining star that shine so bright that guide me to the light, so keep on rockin', cuz That's Rock and Roll


Kitty4670
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,162
Location: Up on Cloud #9 & won't be home tonight

16 Feb 2019, 4:15 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
My ex girlfriend was jealous like that, she wanted me to stop chatting with other women especially those who are younger than her.
Yet she cheated on me with two men on two different times.

Me on the other hand, never put my nose in her ‘friendships’.

Trust? I can’t afford this anymore.


My boyfriend told me, he doesn’t want me talk to men younger than him, he’s afraid they will take me away from him.


_________________
You are my shining star that shine so bright that guide me to the light, so keep on rockin', cuz That's Rock and Roll


BeaArthur
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Aug 2015
Posts: 4,718

16 Feb 2019, 4:18 am

Kitty, how did your big Valentine's Day video chat go?


_________________
Back in the frozen tundra, dreaming of crocuses.


IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 20,404
Location: In a Book

16 Feb 2019, 8:30 am

Kitty4670 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
My ex girlfriend was jealous like that, she wanted me to stop chatting with other women especially those who are younger than her.
Yet she cheated on me with two men on two different times.

Me on the other hand, never put my nose in her ‘friendships’.

Trust? I can’t afford this anymore.


My boyfriend told me, he doesn’t want me talk to men younger than him, he’s afraid they will take me away from him.


How does this make you feel, Kitty? Do you think that's reasonable?