Board index › Coping in life › Parents' Discussion

Lying and aggression from 15 yr old - is this the Aspergers?

Page 2 of 4 [ 53 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

magz
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 16,283
Location: Poland

15 Feb 2019, 2:35 am

You know, I don't think he cognitively does not know what he does. But I suspect he emotionally can't get with it.

I used to be a lying child. I have a lying 6yo myself. It's tricky but manageable - because I remember being on her place.
So, cognitively, you know what is true. But emotions are powerful, they can make your mind bend the reality with an arsenal of defense mechanisms - you can look psychological defense mechanisms up, interesting topic, not ASD related, everyone has them.

So, he did something wrong, likely because of some strong emotions. Then, there is guilt. Then, you come, and there is shame. And then, he knows his PC time, probably the only area that he finds his own and safe, is threatened - there is fear. An explosive cocktail of powerful emotions. Too powerful to act reasonable under their influence.


_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.

<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>


paulfoel
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 8 May 2018
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 25

15 Feb 2019, 3:12 am

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
It sounds like he really needs to learn some emotional regulation. I struggle with that myself at times and did as a teenager especially, but at the same time I knew I couldn't get away with behaving towards my parents the way your son is behaving towards you. Have you thought about family therapy, to help him learn about emotional regulation and perhaps come up with some more effective ways to discipline your son's behaviour? He needs to have clearly spelled out rules that he understands, and consequences that make sense for the level of offence of the behaviour and that seem fair to him because they are spelled out clearly beforehand. If he himself is talking about anger management that means he's open to the idea of therapy, so maybe you should try it as a family.


Thanks. Yes makes sense to me. There are absolutely no boundaries at the moment with his behaviour, no lines he will not cross it seems. Just can't get through to him.

Im sure we've made mistakes and done things wrong so yes I like the idea of family therapy.

Any recommendations? Or how we arrange? Im in the UK btw.



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 Jan 2017
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,857

15 Feb 2019, 3:25 am

paulfoel wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
It sounds like he really needs to learn some emotional regulation. I struggle with that myself at times and did as a teenager especially, but at the same time I knew I couldn't get away with behaving towards my parents the way your son is behaving towards you. Have you thought about family therapy, to help him learn about emotional regulation and perhaps come up with some more effective ways to discipline your son's behaviour? He needs to have clearly spelled out rules that he understands, and consequences that make sense for the level of offence of the behaviour and that seem fair to him because they are spelled out clearly beforehand. If he himself is talking about anger management that means he's open to the idea of therapy, so maybe you should try it as a family.


Thanks. Yes makes sense to me. There are absolutely no boundaries at the moment with his behaviour, no lines he will not cross it seems. Just can't get through to him.

Im sure we've made mistakes and done things wrong so yes I like the idea of family therapy.

Any recommendations? Or how we arrange? Im in the UK btw.


Sorry, I don't really have any info for that where you are. I'm in Canada and the only experience I have with it was some family counselling I went to with my parents and siblings when I was a preteen. I don't really remember much from it to be helpful--my family was too toxic and dysfunctional for therapy to help much by that point so in our case it was like putting a bandaid on a sliced artery. I don't have any experience arranging family therapy. I would guess that it's like anywhere in that what options are available to you depends heavily on your financial resources.



paulfoel
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 8 May 2018
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 25

15 Feb 2019, 3:56 am

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
paulfoel wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
It sounds like he really needs to learn some emotional regulation. I struggle with that myself at times and did as a teenager especially, but at the same time I knew I couldn't get away with behaving towards my parents the way your son is behaving towards you. Have you thought about family therapy, to help him learn about emotional regulation and perhaps come up with some more effective ways to discipline your son's behaviour? He needs to have clearly spelled out rules that he understands, and consequences that make sense for the level of offence of the behaviour and that seem fair to him because they are spelled out clearly beforehand. If he himself is talking about anger management that means he's open to the idea of therapy, so maybe you should try it as a family.


Thanks. Yes makes sense to me. There are absolutely no boundaries at the moment with his behaviour, no lines he will not cross it seems. Just can't get through to him.

Im sure we've made mistakes and done things wrong so yes I like the idea of family therapy.

Any recommendations? Or how we arrange? Im in the UK btw.


Sorry, I don't really have any info for that where you are. I'm in Canada and the only experience I have with it was some family counselling I went to with my parents and siblings when I was a preteen. I don't really remember much from it to be helpful--my family was too toxic and dysfunctional for therapy to help much by that point so in our case it was like putting a bandaid on a sliced artery. I don't have any experience arranging family therapy. I would guess that it's like anywhere in that what options are available to you depends heavily on your financial resources.


OK thanks. I guess in the UK we're "sort of" lucky to have free healthcare. I say "sort of " because a lot of things are woefully underfunded and, alas, mental health especially adolescent mental health is the worse :-(

Fortunately, we are in the position to pay for it.



paulfoel
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 8 May 2018
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 25

15 Feb 2019, 4:44 am

magz wrote:
You know, I don't think he cognitively does not know what he does. But I suspect he emotionally can't get with it.

I used to be a lying child. I have a lying 6yo myself. It's tricky but manageable - because I remember being on her place.
So, cognitively, you know what is true. But emotions are powerful, they can make your mind bend the reality with an arsenal of defense mechanisms - you can look psychological defense mechanisms up, interesting topic, not ASD related, everyone has them.

So, he did something wrong, likely because of some strong emotions. Then, there is guilt. Then, you come, and there is shame. And then, he knows his PC time, probably the only area that he finds his own and safe, is threatened - there is fear. An explosive cocktail of powerful emotions. Too powerful to act reasonable under their influence.


Thanks magz. That does sounds like a pretty good description.

I get the impression at times he wants to not mis-behave.



paulfoel
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 8 May 2018
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 25

15 Feb 2019, 7:01 am

Spoke to CAMHS (youth mental health service in the uk) (who are useless again - no change).

They said phone the police or refer to social services is all they can do?

Has anyone gone down either of these paths? How did it work out?



jimmy m
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jun 2018
Age: 75
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,553
Location: Indiana

15 Feb 2019, 8:44 am

I would recommend Somatic Experiencing Therapy. This website appears to show the practitioners operating in the U.K.
Find a SE Trauma Therapist


_________________
Author of Practical Preparations for a Coronavirus Pandemic.
A very unique plan. As Dr. Paul Thompson wrote, "This is the very best paper on the virus I have ever seen."


paulfoel
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 8 May 2018
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 25

15 Feb 2019, 8:51 am

jimmy m wrote:
I would recommend Somatic Experiencing Therapy. This website appears to show the practitioners operating in the U.K.
Find a SE Trauma Therapist


Thanks never heard of it :-)



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

15 Feb 2019, 9:48 am

I would appeal to the kid to at least try to better behave himself. And ask him why he gets so upset like that. He's 15-years-old, and not cognitively affected, so he can respond to somebody reasoning with him when he is calm.

I would have liked a little bit of that when I was a kid. I used to be threatened with being sent to group homes and such because of my behavior.

Tell him that social services and the police suck.....and that if they intervene, bad things tend to happen. But don't threaten him with it. Just convey to him that you don't want him to start the vicious cycle.

I've known quite a few kids in social service settings. They don't tend to do well until they get off the cycle. They're influenced by the other kids in, say, group homes, to do nasty things like shoplifting and robbing houses. Or drinking and taking drugs.

It's like the roach motel. Once you get into the cycle of social services/police, it's very hard to get out.

The first contact with either social services or police tends to set off a vicious cycle. I would try to reason with him first. Tell him it's no use getting upset all the time. Make sure he knows he has an ear to listen to him so that he is encouraged to talk, rather than act.



eikonabridge
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Sep 2014
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 929

15 Feb 2019, 11:07 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
... It's like the roach motel. Once you get into the cycle of social services/police, it's very hard to get out. ...

Well, isn't it a roach motel from very the beginning?

Parents want to solve the issues only when the issues happen. But that's the wrong moment! When people do that, it shows a total lack of understanding about autism.

Take the child out, one-on-one. Have fun. Do it on a regular basis. Have some fun life together. Do something special. When the child is happy, talk to him about his bad moments. When the child is mad, talk to him about the good moments you guys have had together. Stick to facts. No rules. No need for rewards. Remind everyone that: sometimes life is tough, sometimes life is fun. You don't need to do anything else beyond this sentence. And magically, all issues disappear.

http://www.eikonabridge.com/fun_and_facts.pdf (This is a link. Please click on this link. Don't tell me later that you have not clicked on this link.)


_________________
Jason Lu
http://www.eikonabridge.com/


paulfoel
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 8 May 2018
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 25

16 Feb 2019, 5:59 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I would appeal to the kid to at least try to better behave himself. And ask him why he gets so upset like that. He's 15-years-old, and not cognitively affected, so he can respond to somebody reasoning with him when he is calm.

I would have liked a little bit of that when I was a kid. I used to be threatened with being sent to group homes and such because of my behavior.

Tell him that social services and the police suck.....and that if they intervene, bad things tend to happen. But don't threaten him with it. Just convey to him that you don't want him to start the vicious cycle.

I've known quite a few kids in social service settings. They don't tend to do well until they get off the cycle. They're influenced by the other kids in, say, group homes, to do nasty things like shoplifting and robbing houses. Or drinking and taking drugs.

It's like the roach motel. Once you get into the cycle of social services/police, it's very hard to get out.

The first contact with either social services or police tends to set off a vicious cycle. I would try to reason with him first. Tell him it's no use getting upset all the time. Make sure he knows he has an ear to listen to him so that he is encouraged to talk, rather than act.


Thanks kraftie - the social services and police is the last resort.

Honestly, we've tried it all. Sat him down when everythings calm and explained that this sort of behaviour was totally unnacceptable. Also, similar as you advise here - told him that if things carried on he it would not end well for everyone. We told him that we love him and, of course, we don't want things to escalate to this level, but his behaviour is making the house not safe for other members of the family. He nods and says yes ok. We've also told him to speak to us any time. We're quite willing to negotiate on certain things in the house. To be honest, we've cut house rules down to an absolute minimum for him - he still seems unable to have any consideration for anyone else who also lives there.

His main issue is that he will not accept the loss of PC privileges as a punishment. We hardly ever use and only after 5/6 warning. I've told him that, if things escalate, he wont have a PC at all if his living conditions change.

I just don;t understand. It does not even register with him because he does the same again and again. We had a big blowout a year or so ago when he hit me across the face with a water bottle.

A week ago he got in his mothers face screaming "Go on then, go for it!". Told him then his aggressive behaviour was unacceptable and reminded him he didn't want to push it.

Two days ago he did the same to me. Got up in my face. Literally within seconds. I've learned not to react. AGAIN he was warned.

Very next day he came from school decided he was going to use his PC whether we liked it or not. His mother unplugged it so he shoved her backwards over a chair.

I just don't understand why he can't work out whats going on? How bad does it get before it sinks in to his head?



paulfoel
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 8 May 2018
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 25

16 Feb 2019, 6:07 am

eikonabridge wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
... It's like the roach motel. Once you get into the cycle of social services/police, it's very hard to get out. ...

Well, isn't it a roach motel from very the beginning?

Parents want to solve the issues only when the issues happen. But that's the wrong moment! When people do that, it shows a total lack of understanding about autism.

Take the child out, one-on-one. Have fun. Do it on a regular basis. Have some fun life together. Do something special. When the child is happy, talk to him about his bad moments. When the child is mad, talk to him about the good moments you guys have had together. Stick to facts. No rules. No need for rewards. Remind everyone that: sometimes life is tough, sometimes life is fun. You don't need to do anything else beyond this sentence. And magically, all issues disappear.

http://www.eikonabridge.com/fun_and_facts.pdf (This is a link. Please click on this link. Don't tell me later that you have not clicked on this link.)


Jason - some very good stuff on the link thank you.

Look, I know you're trying to help here, but I've read books and books on the subject also. We've tried it all. I've lost count of the professional advice we've had also. We have literally tried it all.

Let me ask you a question. You're autistic child continually causes issues for the other people in the household. You explain nicely, give him plenty of slack. Still doesn't do it. Then he does something that affects his 5 year old sister. Again, you give him a bit of slack. This goes on for days. Then you have no choice but to tell him what will happen if he does not do it. Again ignored so you follow through and remove his PC priveleges for just a few hours. Nothing huge just a pointer.

Then he loses it, assaults his mother and puts her in hospital. As I said before, not the first time hes assaulted someone.

At some point the safety of the rest of the family have to be considered.

Not trying to be argumentative here, genuinely interested in what you do here......



paulfoel
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 8 May 2018
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 25

16 Feb 2019, 6:22 am

UPDATE

Hes here but keeping out of everyone way in his bedroom. Probably best. Hes not asked for his PC back - he knows.
His mother is recovering. Badly bruised but nothing broken. She is very upset.

Spoke to his CAMHS psychiatrist. Made an appointment for a weeks time. He said we should consider social servies or the police. Hes said as other have said on here, that a teenager on the spectrum (and DS is only mild) should still be aware of boundaries in serious situations like these.

To be honest, his PC we think is a cause of the problem. Hes addicted to it. Yes its his safe place I think but it tends to take over. He doesn't do homework, leave the house in a state, because hes in a rush to get back on his PC.

For now, hes not got it. Do we take it off him for a while or is that going to make things worse? Either way we're going to have to restrict use I think (hes on it 15 hours a day at the weekend, 5 hours+ every evening).

Psych also asked about his other problems. We all first thought he had OCD - he stresses about clean bathrooms/takes hours in the bathroom. We've had all sorts in the past with this - spraying bleach on himself, spraying (not bleach) on his little sister, completely trashing public bathrooms. At one point we had to lock away cleaning products for everyones safety.

He got a LOT better after therapy but hes back on it now. All because its easier to do than change.

He goes through buckets of hand gel. Psych has said its not OCD they think just a power thing with him for some reason. Hes said we should consider limiting to normal amount of hand gel. Doing it slowly hasn't worked, or working with him. To be honest, we maybe should have been tougher in the past rather than let it get to this crisis point.

Seems harsh but in the last few years, hes made ZERO attempt to help himself AT ALL. Various professionals have said they can't help him because hes not interested. You can lead a horse to water etc.
Pretty much falls in line with what I said about his aggressive behaviour. In one ear and out the other - with nothing ever changing. In fact, these things just get worse and he doesn't care.

Also, got meeting next week with a charity that do family counselling for parents of ASD kids. Fingers crossed this will be useful.



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 Jan 2017
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,857

16 Feb 2019, 5:21 pm

paulfoel wrote:
UPDATE

Hes here but keeping out of everyone way in his bedroom. Probably best. Hes not asked for his PC back - he knows.
His mother is recovering. Badly bruised but nothing broken. She is very upset.

Spoke to his CAMHS psychiatrist. Made an appointment for a weeks time. He said we should consider social servies or the police. Hes said as other have said on here, that a teenager on the spectrum (and DS is only mild) should still be aware of boundaries in serious situations like these.

To be honest, his PC we think is a cause of the problem. Hes addicted to it. Yes its his safe place I think but it tends to take over. He doesn't do homework, leave the house in a state, because hes in a rush to get back on his PC.

For now, hes not got it. Do we take it off him for a while or is that going to make things worse? Either way we're going to have to restrict use I think (hes on it 15 hours a day at the weekend, 5 hours+ every evening).

Psych also asked about his other problems. We all first thought he had OCD - he stresses about clean bathrooms/takes hours in the bathroom. We've had all sorts in the past with this - spraying bleach on himself, spraying (not bleach) on his little sister, completely trashing public bathrooms. At one point we had to lock away cleaning products for everyones safety.

He got a LOT better after therapy but hes back on it now. All because its easier to do than change.

He goes through buckets of hand gel. Psych has said its not OCD they think just a power thing with him for some reason. Hes said we should consider limiting to normal amount of hand gel. Doing it slowly hasn't worked, or working with him. To be honest, we maybe should have been tougher in the past rather than let it get to this crisis point.

Seems harsh but in the last few years, hes made ZERO attempt to help himself AT ALL. Various professionals have said they can't help him because hes not interested. You can lead a horse to water etc.
Pretty much falls in line with what I said about his aggressive behaviour. In one ear and out the other - with nothing ever changing. In fact, these things just get worse and he doesn't care.

Also, got meeting next week with a charity that do family counselling for parents of ASD kids. Fingers crossed this will be useful.


If you believe that computer addiction is the source of his problems (and it sounds like it is indeed a big factor in his behaviour) I would suggest finding a therapist with experience helping people with behavioural rather than substance addiction. He basically needs to go through detox and rehab from his computer addiction before you can address his other behavioural issues. As long as he is this emotionally volatile and reactive related to his computer use, you will never get through to him about anything else--so that needs to be addressed first and foremost.



paulfoel
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 8 May 2018
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 25

16 Feb 2019, 6:31 pm

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
paulfoel wrote:
UPDATE

Hes here but keeping out of everyone way in his bedroom. Probably best. Hes not asked for his PC back - he knows.
His mother is recovering. Badly bruised but nothing broken. She is very upset.

Spoke to his CAMHS psychiatrist. Made an appointment for a weeks time. He said we should consider social servies or the police. Hes said as other have said on here, that a teenager on the spectrum (and DS is only mild) should still be aware of boundaries in serious situations like these.

To be honest, his PC we think is a cause of the problem. Hes addicted to it. Yes its his safe place I think but it tends to take over. He doesn't do homework, leave the house in a state, because hes in a rush to get back on his PC.

For now, hes not got it. Do we take it off him for a while or is that going to make things worse? Either way we're going to have to restrict use I think (hes on it 15 hours a day at the weekend, 5 hours+ every evening).

Psych also asked about his other problems. We all first thought he had OCD - he stresses about clean bathrooms/takes hours in the bathroom. We've had all sorts in the past with this - spraying bleach on himself, spraying (not bleach) on his little sister, completely trashing public bathrooms. At one point we had to lock away cleaning products for everyones safety.

He got a LOT better after therapy but hes back on it now. All because its easier to do than change.

He goes through buckets of hand gel. Psych has said its not OCD they think just a power thing with him for some reason. Hes said we should consider limiting to normal amount of hand gel. Doing it slowly hasn't worked, or working with him. To be honest, we maybe should have been tougher in the past rather than let it get to this crisis point.

Seems harsh but in the last few years, hes made ZERO attempt to help himself AT ALL. Various professionals have said they can't help him because hes not interested. You can lead a horse to water etc.
Pretty much falls in line with what I said about his aggressive behaviour. In one ear and out the other - with nothing ever changing. In fact, these things just get worse and he doesn't care.

Also, got meeting next week with a charity that do family counselling for parents of ASD kids. Fingers crossed this will be useful.


If you believe that computer addiction is the source of his problems (and it sounds like it is indeed a big factor in his behaviour) I would suggest finding a therapist with experience helping people with behavioural rather than substance addiction. He basically needs to go through detox and rehab from his computer addiction before you can address his other behavioural issues. As long as he is this emotionally volatile and reactive related to his computer use, you will never get through to him about anything else--so that needs to be addressed first and foremost.


Do you know what I think you're right. Not sure how much success I'm going to get with that though to be honest. Im in the UK so not going to be easy to find.

Previous experience has shown he just won't bother as well. The amount of money we've blown on therapy where he just nods, mumbles, refuses to get involved, and just goes with the flow but won't interact.

Thinking about it he does act like an addict. He'll do anything to get access to be honest. Yet its strange how he doesnt think of the consequences - i.e. if he ups it and get taken off somewhere he wont have access.



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 Jan 2017
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,857

16 Feb 2019, 7:22 pm

paulfoel wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
paulfoel wrote:
UPDATE

Hes here but keeping out of everyone way in his bedroom. Probably best. Hes not asked for his PC back - he knows.
His mother is recovering. Badly bruised but nothing broken. She is very upset.

Spoke to his CAMHS psychiatrist. Made an appointment for a weeks time. He said we should consider social servies or the police. Hes said as other have said on here, that a teenager on the spectrum (and DS is only mild) should still be aware of boundaries in serious situations like these.

To be honest, his PC we think is a cause of the problem. Hes addicted to it. Yes its his safe place I think but it tends to take over. He doesn't do homework, leave the house in a state, because hes in a rush to get back on his PC.

For now, hes not got it. Do we take it off him for a while or is that going to make things worse? Either way we're going to have to restrict use I think (hes on it 15 hours a day at the weekend, 5 hours+ every evening).

Psych also asked about his other problems. We all first thought he had OCD - he stresses about clean bathrooms/takes hours in the bathroom. We've had all sorts in the past with this - spraying bleach on himself, spraying (not bleach) on his little sister, completely trashing public bathrooms. At one point we had to lock away cleaning products for everyones safety.

He got a LOT better after therapy but hes back on it now. All because its easier to do than change.

He goes through buckets of hand gel. Psych has said its not OCD they think just a power thing with him for some reason. Hes said we should consider limiting to normal amount of hand gel. Doing it slowly hasn't worked, or working with him. To be honest, we maybe should have been tougher in the past rather than let it get to this crisis point.

Seems harsh but in the last few years, hes made ZERO attempt to help himself AT ALL. Various professionals have said they can't help him because hes not interested. You can lead a horse to water etc.
Pretty much falls in line with what I said about his aggressive behaviour. In one ear and out the other - with nothing ever changing. In fact, these things just get worse and he doesn't care.

Also, got meeting next week with a charity that do family counselling for parents of ASD kids. Fingers crossed this will be useful.


If you believe that computer addiction is the source of his problems (and it sounds like it is indeed a big factor in his behaviour) I would suggest finding a therapist with experience helping people with behavioural rather than substance addiction. He basically needs to go through detox and rehab from his computer addiction before you can address his other behavioural issues. As long as he is this emotionally volatile and reactive related to his computer use, you will never get through to him about anything else--so that needs to be addressed first and foremost.


Do you know what I think you're right. Not sure how much success I'm going to get with that though to be honest. Im in the UK so not going to be easy to find.

Previous experience has shown he just won't bother as well. The amount of money we've blown on therapy where he just nods, mumbles, refuses to get involved, and just goes with the flow but won't interact.

Thinking about it he does act like an addict. He'll do anything to get access to be honest. Yet its strange how he doesnt think of the consequences - i.e. if he ups it and get taken off somewhere he wont have access.


This is why I think rehab could help--he needs an intervention, and maybe just regular talk therapy isn't going to break through to him. He needs to be temporarily put into a clean clinic where he has no access to his addiction and go through an intensive detox program. He needs to go through a program that literally teaches him how to change his habits from the self-destructive ones he has now to habits that are more healthy. This seems to be the only way people can break some addictions if they are deeply ingrained enough. Have you ever seen the show "Intervention" on A&E? I don't even know if they make it anymore, it's been quite a while since I had actual cable television service, but I used to watch it pretty regularly and it was all about how to intervene with people with various addictions, some substance and some behavioural (like gambling and gaming addictions, for example). I think you're going to need something like this, an intervention--which is more intensive than talk therapy, and designed more for dealing with a crisis (because an addiction that has swallowed a person's life and their self-control is a crisis).

Again, this is something I personally don't know how to arrange. You'd have to ask your social services for help with that. There must be intervention programs and rehab clinics for addiction where you are, they exist everywhere. Google some resources in your area and start making phone calls.