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mjs82
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Joined: 20 Jun 2005
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,166

27 Jun 2005, 7:23 am

Hello,
I hesitated for a while about posting on this site but I can't really understand why though. I suppose the internet is the perfect medium for pretending you're someone your not and i didn't want to fall into that trap. Introducing myself, my name is (*******) but you can call me whatever you like, I'm not too fussed on it. I'm male, 22 years old and live in a town in the Hunter Valley in NSW, Australia. All my life I have struggled to fit into place. At any one time I have only ever had a few friends, none of them really close and none of them lasting. I have often found myself speaking English but unable to communicate myself to other people. People have a real hard time understanding me and sometimes they misinterpret my bare facts at bluntness. I have trouble BS-ing people like i see most people apparently doing. I don't understand what people are thinking and trying to say alot of the time, but that said, I am a part-time struggling writer and did excellent in English at school. In high school the closest friend i ever had went through depression and was later diagnosed with bi-polar disorder but she hid things from me. I even doubt how close she considered me as a friend. Although seemingly my life should be satisfactory, I have always had to deal with the lingering effects of trauma and depression. The only girlfriend i've ever had (11 days) late last year who also suffered from depression urged me to seek help. I struggled to deal with my depression and finally sought help from a psychiatrist. Another person I know had started telling people that I probably had autism and I felt offended by it at first. I had foolishly come to a self-righteous conclusion about it knowing nothing about Aspergers. So when I went to the psychiatrist and brought it up, pretty much I was assessed with having mild Asperger's symptoms. I am reluctant to say if I am or I'm not. I really don't know. I have read on here heaps of people saying i'm self diagnosed but I really have now idea. I always was under the notion that something inside me was broken because I just breakdown emotionally and even now i am struggling to find the strength to post this message, but having a label doesn't make it any better. How do people cope with living their lives because I just don't know what to do with myself?



Sean
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Joined: 3 Apr 2005
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27 Jun 2005, 7:31 am

Hi.
Hopefully we can soon prove that we don't bite. :)
Apart from having had a girlfriend, your life sounds similar to mine. I was a little worried about how people would respond to me when I joined, and now I'm mildly obsessed with posting here. :roll: :lol:



Mockingbird
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Joined: 17 Feb 2005
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Posts: 1,169
Location: Upstate New York

27 Jun 2005, 8:44 am

Hi mjs,
I'm sorry you have had such a hard time. We are all friendly here, like Sean said, we don't bite :wink: I know what you mean, about feeling broken all your life....I was dx'd at the beginning of february, and I'm still struggling to feel "not broken", but the progress is steady, and this site has helped SO much. I hope it helps you as much as it did me. Anyways, Welcome, I hope you will enjoy it here!