Silence and Social Anxiety

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Do people really not know that if someone has social anxiety, they fill silences with all the ways in which you could possibly have been hurt by them or all the ways in which you hate them?

Because I have social anxiety and that's the way I interpret it when I don't get responses to emails.

People get really defensive over this. I get it. It's my problem not anyone else's. But this is the way which my brain responds and I need a bit more than a defence of the silent person. I need reassurance I'm not going around offending everyone just by for eg submitting my work to my tutor who told me he would reply to emails as he wasn't busy this week...

I'm the same with texts and it's not just him, it's anyone. I'm not doing anything which is unusual or offensive but I still feel it.

People with social anxiety will understand it all (I understand your post for example), but people without it have no idea.

I actually consider it rude if someone doesn't respond, it's not just that it bothers me. I make sure to do the same for others. If I am absolutely unavailable I will make it known to the other person. I always make sure I say hello and goodbye to people in a live chat because the unexpectedness of a suddenly terminated conversation catches me off guard, and I don't want other people to feel that way.

Not responding to people and leaving them in the middle of a conversation without warning should be socially shunned, just like we do with other social conventions like interrupting people.

I have social anxiety but in my case it is quite the opposite. I fall into the "leave me alone" state, wishing everybody would forget my existence.

Interesting, magz. Maybe it has something to do with introvert versus extrovert? I think I'm an extrovert aspie, I know that sounds contradictory but the more I think about it, the more I really do get energy from other people.

wrongcitizen. That's the same with me. If I come across any comment which doesn't seem iffy to me (so not trolls for eg), I immediately respond to it. Thanks for 'getting it'. People without social anxiety don't seem to understand, you're right.

I text my dad* every night and I had to train him to say 'night' as it makes me feel bad when he just stops talking.

Sometimes he says 'night' then asks a big question then doesn't reply. I don't understand that one...

Interestingly right before I had social anxiety I was rude for the not saying goodbye, apparently. I'd say goodbye to the person/people I was with but I wouldn't go around the workplace saying bye to everyone which was apparently the norm. Thing is though, they didn't do that with me either?

*none of my family are NT except mum who's borderline between aspie and NT. My dad is more autistic than me and has schizophrenia.

Yes, I think it is the introvert-extrovert difference. I'm definitely introverted, interacting with people, even the nearest and dearest, sucks my energy out. This is actually the most likely cause of my social anxiety - I don't have energy to interact, so I get fight or fly reaction to people.
I know that feeling of anxiety about what the person thinks when they don't tell me... I know the enormous fear of rejection. I used to have them when I was younger. I enjoy getting old as I can care less and less for what others think of me

I totally believe you can be an extroverted Aspie. I hope your anxiety gets better and you find some reliable friends