does anyone else get extremely upset if they lose a friend?

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SmoresCat
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25 Feb 2019, 4:56 am

i just lost 3 like 12 hours ago, and i still find myself crying off and on about it.



shortfatbalduglyman
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25 Feb 2019, 3:01 pm

A bit annoyed. Usually they dump me. Ghost on Facebook.

But usually I regret failure to set boundaries and I should have dumped them first


But I did not want to have zero friends


Because I only had one friend, one lil dipshit had the monopoly


But sometimes it is better to have zero friends, than to have Amy Lee b***h :roll: or whatever


Even idiots that dumped me seven years ago, Amy lee b***h. Still I have not gotten over

Analyze the situation and look for the moral


But there might not be a moral and if there were, it might not apply to any other situation


Gave up on friends a long time ago

Cost benefit analysis

The Best case scenario is, whooptie do

The worst case is is, subject to imagination


f**k mister redelings :skull:



Donald Morton
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25 Feb 2019, 3:13 pm

I used to feel broken, exhausted, and cried a river after loosing someone, but so many of my close friends and relatives past on in a relatively short time period that I have become numb to the loss.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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25 Feb 2019, 3:17 pm

It's hard to enjoy it while it lasts

Without anxious attachment style

Not avoidant attachment style either

Just secure attachment



serpentari
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03 Mar 2019, 1:43 am

if i lose a friend, i will totally be devastated. if i lose a casual contact (such as, "friend" in some social platform i never knew much of), i will either recover fast, or wont need to recover.
also hey don, we are missing u!


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endersdragon34
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03 Mar 2019, 1:46 am

Lately I have been spending hours trying to find some old online YIM/AIM friends... does that answer your question?



BrokenPieces
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07 Mar 2019, 11:26 am

Donald Morton wrote:
I used to feel broken, exhausted, and cried a river after loosing someone, but so many of my close friends and relatives past on in a relatively short time period that I have become numb to the loss.


This has been my experience, although my loss was (mostly) not death. I lost so many friends during my teenage years (not in death) that I stopped trying to make friends. I do have 3 close friends still. But I'd only be that devastated again if something happened to my best friend.



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07 Mar 2019, 1:35 pm

I've only ever had one or two close friends at a time, so of course I'm devastated when I lose one - it usually means I no longer have a close relationship with anyone. I've been fortunate enough to have almost all of my lost friendships having just sort of faded, and I don't realize it's probably over until I realize it's been several months without contact (most of my friendships have been long-distance), which is probably not as hard as having some sort of interaction that makes it clear that the friendship is over. But just a couple days ago, I was really missing some friends that I haven't had any contact with in a year to a decade (for different people).

It seems perfectly normal to me to still be devastated only twelve hours after losing any friends - in fact, I would say that anyone who wasn't still upset at that point probably wasn't actually friends with that person/people after all, more like "friendly acquaintances" rather than true friends, at least on that person's side of things. If you are still very upset about it, that shows that you truly do care about those people and truly did value their friendship.

I would also like to send big dragon hugs to everyone in this thread. Losing friends is never easy for anyone.


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BrokenPieces
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07 Mar 2019, 3:04 pm

That reminds me, I read that when friends break up, the natural grieving time is generally one month for every year you've been friends. Sometimes more, sometimes less.



grahambaster
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07 Mar 2019, 5:57 pm

Having a friend seems more upsetting in my case.


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Summer_Twilight
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17 Apr 2019, 8:30 am

SmoresCat wrote:
i just lost 3 like 12 hours ago, and i still find myself crying off and on about it.


Yes, because to those of us who are on the spectrum, they are special treats because they don't just easy for us. That said, the losses have come with being upset in different forms.

1. When my childhood friend lost her interest in me after meeting her first boyfriend along with started hanging out with these cool friends who she thought were "Better," while treating me like a piece of trash while just wanted to use me for things. My emotions came in stages

A. Sadness when she ignored me in front of her boyfriend
B. I later became angry because she never had time to talk to me. At one point, I responded inappropriately where I would call her up and do a crank call. Other times, I called her up and yelled at her on her answering machine.
C. It turns out that I stuffed in that anger for years which started coming out in 2011.

2. The second was an adult "Friend" who was extremely jealous of me for a number of reasons and was always competing with me. She was also two-faced and stabbed me in the back on a number of occasions and pulled lots of other weird stunts. I was rejected by her out of the blue one week after she had me over at her home for dinner on Christmas in 2013 and in the middle of last period of unemployment. We met once 4 years ago and it came out that she was just using me out of "Loneliness" and because her self esteem was so low, she lied to me about all of her interests. She also blamed me for the relationship being "So toxic" because I would get mad at her and accuse her of things that were "Not true." During that talk, she said some things that were very mean.

"My husband doesn't approve of you and he didn't want me to meet you, but he approves of your other best friends and another best friend of mine. In fact, my best friend and did a movie together. You're a good person though don't cry. "


A. At the last meeting and a few days later, I cried about it for a few days
B. For the last few years, my anger has been coming in waves since that last meeting because it really haunts me that she would hide behind her husband. Sometimes that anger is so bad that I have called her our periodically about our meeting. I have also said some not nice things to her as well.
C. While I have my days where I am angry, I get through each cycle by pulling something up new along with finally accepting that she's a phony person who is a selfish jerk.



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17 Apr 2019, 8:41 am

SmoresCat wrote:
Does anyone else get extremely upset if they lose a friend?
Yes. Whether by death or betrayal, the feeling is the same.


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serpentari
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17 Apr 2019, 8:53 am

much different to me. death gives sorrow, mourning and emptyness that cannot be filled. betrayal gives cold rage and excruciating pain. and then there is "by mutual meltdown".


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shortfatbalduglyman
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17 Apr 2019, 9:12 am

Serpentari

Likewise


Everyone is going to drop dead

If the friend got murdered, that is one thing. But if it's disease, as cause of death that's different


Betrayal. They are still alive and might be gossipping about you. Amy Lee scheel b***h and Caroline Martinez acted like every thought and emotion that went through their heads was the latest greatest scientific invention


They have a lot of friends


And I only had them

Singular




They don't realize what they did wrong



Not only that, but they act like they have never done anything wrong before in their lives




So it must be my fault


According to them (plural)



But it is my fault, but not for that reason




It is my fault, because I trusted them in the first place




Do not need friends


Contrary to what Maslow's hierarchy



For a long time I did not have friends

And I have not dropped dead thus far

Maybe tomorrow


But I am already 36 and that is old


Besides, $$$ will run out and I might be homeless

No job

No friends

Not going to commit suicide


Fear of injury from failure


Medical bills


But there is nothing to live for positively


Subject to imagination




So what?



For a long time I have completely given up on friends




Mister redelings looked too good to be true


Then he had the nerve to tell me that it is "lying" for me to ask him to call me "he" instead of "she"


San Diego 2006

Equal employment opportunity commission 2012 gender identity


Homophobia


If he was my boss, it would have been "discrimination "

When that skinny smart handsome cisgender neurotypical white man thought he was correct, it was like :skull: incite a riot :roll: . "Off with her head :!: :x


The penis acted like I invented "lying" and he had never done anything wrong before in his life


It was not just that I was exaggerating, mistaken, joking, speaking figuretively, disagree


It was like the penis acted like he truly believed that he had never done anything wrong before




Not even an email apology


Unless court mandated


s**t there is no way to repair, fix, make up for mister redelings


Idiots keep missing the point



They act like it is a personal favor to :


:mrgreen: call you by your "boys name"

:mrgreen: say "angry" instead of "mad" (psychotherapist)

:skull: "put Fido in the car (leash Law)








So I don't know, what ass holes reject about me now, that there will be laws about ten years later



Because I am not precognitive or a politician






:roll:






f**k ozben felek, mister redelings, and

Jeanne Courtney






Mister redelings is a penis :mrgreen:


Homophobic

Transphobic



"Discrimination"





:D



serpentari
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17 Apr 2019, 9:24 am

ya and is it really paranoia or is somebody after me


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sanity is a prison. insanity is doom. is there a third option, please?
beware the ire of the patient ones!
and if i walk away, who is gonna stay? i believe to make the world be a better place.