does anyone else get extremely upset if they lose a friend?

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shortfatbalduglyman
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17 Apr 2019, 9:12 am

Serpentari

Likewise


Everyone is going to drop dead

If the friend got murdered, that is one thing. But if it's disease, as cause of death that's different


Betrayal. They are still alive and might be gossipping about you. Amy Lee scheel b***h and Caroline Martinez acted like every thought and emotion that went through their heads was the latest greatest scientific invention


They have a lot of friends


And I only had them

Singular




They don't realize what they did wrong



Not only that, but they act like they have never done anything wrong before in their lives




So it must be my fault


According to them (plural)



But it is my fault, but not for that reason




It is my fault, because I trusted them in the first place




Do not need friends


Contrary to what Maslow's hierarchy



For a long time I did not have friends

And I have not dropped dead thus far

Maybe tomorrow


But I am already 36 and that is old


Besides, $$$ will run out and I might be homeless

No job

No friends

Not going to commit suicide


Fear of injury from failure


Medical bills


But there is nothing to live for positively


Subject to imagination




So what?



For a long time I have completely given up on friends




Mister redelings looked too good to be true


Then he had the nerve to tell me that it is "lying" for me to ask him to call me "he" instead of "she"


San Diego 2006

Equal employment opportunity commission 2012 gender identity


Homophobia


If he was my boss, it would have been "discrimination "

When that skinny smart handsome cisgender neurotypical white man thought he was correct, it was like :skull: incite a riot :roll: . "Off with her head :!: :x


The penis acted like I invented "lying" and he had never done anything wrong before in his life


It was not just that I was exaggerating, mistaken, joking, speaking figuretively, disagree


It was like the penis acted like he truly believed that he had never done anything wrong before




Not even an email apology


Unless court mandated


s**t there is no way to repair, fix, make up for mister redelings


Idiots keep missing the point



They act like it is a personal favor to :


:mrgreen: call you by your "boys name"

:mrgreen: say "angry" instead of "mad" (psychotherapist)

:skull: "put Fido in the car (leash Law)








So I don't know, what ass holes reject about me now, that there will be laws about ten years later



Because I am not precognitive or a politician






:roll:






f**k ozben felek, mister redelings, and

Jeanne Courtney






Mister redelings is a penis :mrgreen:


Homophobic

Transphobic



"Discrimination"





:D



serpentari
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17 Apr 2019, 9:24 am

ya and is it really paranoia or is somebody after me


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Summer_Twilight
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17 Apr 2019, 9:34 am

serpentari wrote:
much different to me. death gives sorrow, mourning and emptyness that cannot be filled. betrayal gives cold rage and excruciating pain. and then there is "by mutual meltdown".


I have learned that the loss of friendship takes a long time to work through and especially when a relationship was toxic along with the loss. By the way, both of the relationships were toxic but after years of anger with my childhood friend, I finally let her go. I am sure that I will let go of the other friend and accept it that I am better of without her because she was not worth it either. The main thing is to forgive both of them.



serpentari
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17 Apr 2019, 10:04 am

forgiving, no. not in case of betrayal. archiving it, yes. past, irrelevant. not wasting mental/emotional resourse on it.


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magz
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17 Apr 2019, 10:25 am

I don't really.
My "friends" just drift away from me and I'm okay with it.
Sometimes I regret losing contact - but I just can't keep it up, I don't have this kind of power.
Sometimes we rebind after a few years. Sometimes we can't.
I don't remember ever being betrayed by a friend - maybe beacuse I'm slow to consider one my friend.


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serpentari
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17 Apr 2019, 10:27 am

so am i. and then my friends have to deal with my f*****g paranoia, left by old betrayals. among other s**t.


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Summer_Twilight
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17 Apr 2019, 10:39 am

serpentari wrote:
forgiving, no. not in case of betrayal. archiving it, yes. past, irrelevant. not wasting mental/emotional resourse on it.


Forgivness means that you don't back and be someone's friend who hurt you, rather it means that you still love them on the inside while acknowledging that they were betrayed you but you don't let it get to you anymore. Sure you can reconcile with someone but they may not want to reconcile with you.



serpentari
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17 Apr 2019, 10:47 am

reconcile is 2 way thing. otherwise its called forgiveness ya. but i dont forgive betrayal. i simply store a list of names. reconcile is an option when something went honestly wrong. miscommunication. when hurt happened without such intent. then, if u are lucky, u can reconcile. rebuild that relationship. if the other person is willing too.


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Summer_Twilight
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17 Apr 2019, 10:59 am

serpentari wrote:
reconcile is 2 way thing. otherwise its called forgiveness ya. but i dont forgive betrayal. i simply store a list of names. reconcile is an option when something went honestly wrong. miscommunication. when hurt happened without such intent. then, if u are lucky, u can reconcile. rebuild that relationship. if the other person is willing too.



Well actually, that's not true. You can forgive the person and heal yourself without ever meeting with that person. I think it's hard because that person who wronged you may be so wrapped up in themselves and they have moved onto other people. I found some good guided meditations that have helped with clarity.

One of the ways that I am working through the rejection of the friend who rejected me 5 years ago is through meditation. It helps me tell myself that "It's not my problem that this ex-friend really hates me. It's not my problem that she has felt a certain way about herself because I didn't create the problems for her." It's also not your problem that your "Friends" betrayed you.



serpentari
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17 Apr 2019, 11:04 am

like i said. its not forgiving. its well, archiving it. also, making some use out of it. learning something. so next time u'd be a harder target. there are things to forgive. and there are things unforgivable. other thing is to not let it weight u down, which was me to have told u in the first place. afair. i will not be discussing this further. i am low on energy.


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Summer_Twilight
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17 Apr 2019, 12:08 pm

serpentari wrote:
like i said. its not forgiving. its well, archiving it. also, making some use out of it. learning something. so next time u'd be a harder target. there are things to forgive. and there are things unforgivable. other thing is to not let it weight u down, which was me to have told u in the first place. afair. i will not be discussing this further. i am low on energy.


I am not more careful about how I select my friends being that I have had some pretty bad friends in my life. I also now know how to look for the signs of a toxic friendship since I have done some research on which signs to be on the look for.

Questions to ask myself
1. Is this friendship a two-way street or are you there for each other?
2. Is this friend accepting of you no matter what choices you make good or bad?
3. Does this person bring you up?
4. Is this friend supportive?
5. Do you feel good after spending time with them?
6. Can you be yourself around them?
7. How much do you have in common/are you compatible?
9.Do they stick with you through thick and thin?



CockneyRebel
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17 Apr 2019, 11:03 pm

I get very upset whenever I lose a friend. Most of my friends from my clubhouse have past away over the past 20 years.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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17 Apr 2019, 11:50 pm

It's easier to not deal with friends altogether

Counseling and wrong planet



Summer_Twilight
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Today, 9:01 am

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
It's easier to not deal with friends altogether

Counseling and wrong planet


I see what you are saying because it's getting harder and harder to determine who is a friend and who is not. I have learned to be by myself and just connect with my cat.



serpentari
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Today, 9:18 am

my friends are people, who are currently sleeping off a week of having watched me around the clock in shifts


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