Coming Out of The Aspie Closet

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Hi all,

I was feeling really suicidal recently. (Don't worry, I got help. In an outpatient program now after an involuntary 72-hour hold.)

I've been feeling really bad about my parents smothering me. At the same time, I feel like some of the programs my parents and/or therapists have been pushing me towards do not really expect that much from me or take me at face-value at all!!

It seriously depresses me. I would like my parents to get the hell away from me and to stop goddamn smothering me. (I've actually considered moving in to the cheapest and worst place to live in the country that I can afford to buy outright, and taking out restraining orders on each of my parents soon after I settle in there.) I would like some opportunities to shine and show my capabilities and my strengths. What the hell is the point if the same people who claim they want to help me literally see me as doing nothing more than picking up excrement for less pay than anyone in the entire world as my niche? What's the point if they see me as an intellectual deficient when in reality I'm completely not (which everyone in the goddamn world can agree with me on)?

So, I'm extremely depressed. Suicide might be pointless, but I don't see myself as ever loving myself or feeling proud of myself. What's the point when I'm consistently held back? What's the point when I'm treated as something I'm not and when social workers or counselors see handicaps that they actually can't in all honesty verbalize because those handicaps seriously aren't even there? I'm here! I'm a freak! I'm not a sheep! I'm my own person! Get over it!

-Dude

Welcome to WP!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Dude619, I can't say I've never felt like that, but I've felt something like that. I am estranged from my parents at the moment, I'm pretty far along in life and it's as if they have no clue on my zest for independence. It's not like I haven't had to come crawling back to them a couple of times; but their unbelief in my capability of being independent is rather discouraging.

I even moved away from the area I was from and bought an inexpensive house, so that is indeed possible, but in the present day you might have to look a little harder. An inexpensive house can also mean you're fixing a lot of it. Another option could be buying a vacant piece of land and buying a pre-built portable building you could turn into a one room house, it's accomplishable if you can handle low square footage. Some inexpensive land remains in Michigan, even less expensive in Maine. So you have some options when the time comes to make a move.

nah. don't harm yourself. then they win.
Do what I did- just stubbornly endure long enough and you will outlive your tormentors .
If you still feel angry about it, you can always blow up their graves with black powder.They ain't going anywhere.
...
I know the "man-up speech as "just straighten up and fly right you little wimp!" from my useless pseudo-caregiver
"parents".
I would then often indulge in a bit of homicidal reverie involving him and a high cliff at Point Fermin in San Pedro
with me mockingly calling down "so let's see how easy it is for YOU to fly right, you insensitive prick!"
but I didn't want to waste the valuable gravity that would be consumed in crushing him to a bag of loose bloody hamburger mixed with bone splinters on the rocks below. Not to mention possible damage to important rocks.