Socially Draining Experience I had Today

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icehouselover1984
Emu Egg
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Joined: 17 Jan 2019
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14 Mar 2019, 6:11 pm

Looking back maybe I should have spoke up more, but at my residence at university I sat at a table of 5 others during mealtime and they are all good friends, and one of the guys is an acquaintance of mine. So in general I find it hard to keep up in group conversations. I am just nervous I think and end up just sitting there quiet without saying too much, while they are talking fast with each other and joking around. I then felt socially overwhelmed and kind of awkwardly left when I was done my meal. I tend to be more laid back and don't say things as much unless I feel a need to, and find it hard to find the right moment to contribute in, and I'm just probably shy lol. Now that I think about it, maybe they couldve included me a bit more or since I was quiet they may have thought I wasn't interested, I don't know. What do you guys think?



BTDT
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Joined: 26 Jul 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,246

14 Mar 2019, 6:34 pm

I find it takes practice to socialize. Awkward if I haven't done it for a while.



shadowtag
Sea Gull
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Joined: 19 Feb 2013
Age: 23
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Location: Florida

14 Mar 2019, 6:48 pm

I can totally relate. I often find, more often than not, that I am more of a silent observer; and unless the topic turns to something I'm really passionate about, I feels like it's not worth the nervous effort to jump in, especially in a group. Not that it isn't, it's just hard to stretch my comfort zone.


Definitely takes practice, little by little. I think sometimes, the reason why I don't invest more in the effort is because I still fear rejection so much, even if it's a minor slight. Even though it's ridiculous, it can feel like an attack on my identity.


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Christian, Aspergian, Recovering Bundle Of Neurotic Anxieties.