I know awesome women but I'm out of touch.

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cberg
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19 Mar 2019, 8:16 pm

quite an extreme wrote:
cberg wrote:
That's absolutely wrong. Every living person experiences empathy in one way or another, that's the only reason I'm posting here.

Only for emotions the person knows and is able to feel. Once you are able to feel empathy you have a big avantage over me. You should use it and cause the 'awesome women' to crush on you by amplification of their positive feeling towards you which you should be able to feel then.

cberg wrote:
Also would you guys PLEASE stop stereotyping female behavior?

There is no stereotype behaviour but typical behaviour. Not all people are the same way but many are not as different if compared to each other.



I don't find it healthy to view others as "typical".

I guess I'm fairly lovable when you look past the plastic fumes from all these laptops. :jester:

Again, my thread is about making room for female individuality, not funneling women towards me with any kind of tactic. I'm not doing anything by the book because said book gets thrown back at guys like me all the time.


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cberg
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20 Mar 2019, 12:59 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
The whole thing is....is that he has qualities that I don't have, and have never had.

I can't hang-glide. I can't scamper up a mountain. I don't have the computer smarts he has. There ware women out there who would kill for a guy with flowing blond hair.

I often feel that Mr. Berg overthinks, in general.


So do I. All I'm allowed to do is overthink, it's all I ever get paid for & it's most of what people expect of me when they meet me.

Meditation is the only way I ever get any sleep.


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quite an extreme
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20 Mar 2019, 3:30 pm

cberg wrote:
I don't find it healthy to view others as "typical".

Why? Dog are like dogs. Humans like humans. :wink:

cberg wrote:
I guess I'm fairly lovable when you look past the plastic fumes from all these laptops. :jester:

How many beautiful girls did?

cberg wrote:
Again, my thread is about making room for female individuality, not funneling women towards me with any kind of tactic.

Your choice. Only 40% of men have children but 80% of women do. Most attractive women are quite calculating towards men. It's onto you being more attractive then other guys or not. Brain doesn't really count for this and as long as you don't use it it also doesn't helps you at all. :wink:

What counts? Care about yourself looking always a bit attractive and not to average. Be a bit self-confident towards women. Be fun. Be a bit provocative. Get in touch once she seems to like you a bit. Have fun with her.


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cberg
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20 Mar 2019, 6:18 pm

quite an extreme wrote:
cberg wrote:
I don't find it healthy to view others as "typical".

Why? Dog are like dogs. Humans like humans. :wink:

cberg wrote:
I guess I'm fairly lovable when you look past the plastic fumes from all these laptops. :jester:

How many beautiful girls did?


I guess the number exceeds five by this point. For one thing, who can blame them for being cautious with someone *me* who's been dabbling in hacking for almost two decades? I would be cautious too.

In what way are you suggesting my brain's been factored out? In a factual sense, self confidence is not exactly a problem of mine lately; I know quite a number of things most other guys don't learn in a lifetime. Social confidence is another story. I think part of the issue here is discerning when my ASD has finally become an everyday conversation.


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RetroGamer87
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21 Mar 2019, 7:28 am

cberg wrote:
Obviously more togetherness is called for in this day & age but I'm struggling to find casual means of direct conversation with women.

In my experience friendly conversations with women can lead to some very good friendships with women but if you want something more I suggest you sign up for some dating sites.


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cberg
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21 Mar 2019, 8:34 am

I'm not interested in dating anyone I just met online. Not having a report is too stressful.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Mar 2019, 11:06 am

Real conversation on a dating site:

Her: What do you work?
Me: Software developer, I write web apps.
Her: So boring.
Me: Well, without this profession you wouldn’t have been chatting here right now.

Another example of this ugly stigmatization of developers. This was offensive really.



cberg
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21 Mar 2019, 12:46 pm

Yeah. It's really sad. Guys aren't the only reason there's so little female representation in technology.

Women insult their own intelligence when they demean these big intricate systems. Modern technology obviously would not exist without women. Technological literacy is something I need to teach everyone in my life about, period.


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cberg
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22 Mar 2019, 1:20 pm

Software devs are people too. :(

How tremendously depressing that I should start another thread about that.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Mar 2019, 1:25 pm

cberg, if you are that much out of touch with them then you don’t know really how much awesome they are (and much are not).



cberg
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22 Mar 2019, 3:01 pm

They're good people who know me & knowing me can't be all that easy so I'll stand by my thread's original idea. I'm not trying to fixate on the negative side of any friend of mine.

Maybe it's more accurate to say everyone is a mix of good & bad, but that sure doesn't exactly encourage anyone.

Image

Look if I didn't focus on good things about women I know, how would a guy like myself still even be alive in the first place? I think I'm invoking the golden rule here, if women are going to treat geeks as subhuman, what kind of gentleman would I be to respond cynically?


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karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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22 Mar 2019, 5:08 pm

Here's a shocker--guys that aren't geeks treat women who are geeks as subhuman too. It's not a men/women thing, it's a nerd/not nerd thing. Don't make everything about gender, that doesn't help you get out of this rut you're in.



cberg
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22 Mar 2019, 7:39 pm

Oh I wish gender weren't an issue too; I'm sure female engineers & hackers have a rough time of this as well. What I'm trying to say is that most women in my life represent a conspicuous absence from my "digital life". There's a fantastic connection between all of us until my friend's technological self-doubt becomes a communications breakdown. We're all just learning each other's language, hence my presence on WP. Another good reason is the astute women on here.

There has to be some context where everyone can enjoy some of this tech knowledge. Maybe along the lines of digital arts more than scientific & industrial stuff.


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karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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22 Mar 2019, 9:05 pm

cberg wrote:
Oh I wish gender weren't an issue too; I'm sure female engineers & hackers have a rough time of this as well. What I'm trying to say is that most women in my life represent a conspicuous absence from my "digital life". There's a fantastic connection between all of us until my friend's technological self-doubt becomes a communications breakdown. We're all just learning each other's language, hence my presence on WP. Another good reason is the astute women on here.

There has to be some context where everyone can enjoy some of this tech knowledge. Maybe along the lines of digital arts more than scientific & industrial stuff.


I really don't understand this resistance to talking about technology you describe encountering in women, I've never felt that way myself. I'm not the most tech-savvy person, but I dated a couple of "computer guys" when I was younger and we talked about it a lot and I ended up learning quite a bit from them. Now I know enough to maintain my own computer and do what I want to do online (like download music *totally legally*). :lol:

It doesn't just have to be women in the industry that you can potentially relate to, there are women out there who aren't techies themselves but are still open to talking and learning about it like I was when I was younger. You just need to find people who are open-minded and curious by nature.



cberg
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22 Mar 2019, 9:17 pm

I agree however I also need to find enjoyable ways of piquing anyone's curiosity. The struggles that affect my relationships with everyone are all part of the same whole.

I'm alright at making new friends I suppose but I take things slow with everyone because I don't want to ignore those who took the time our of our ridiculously busy lives to really get to know me.

I'm trying to be honest about my strengths & weaknesses in order to become more relatable as well as to help some friends relax.

Now to finish my homework & drive home across town. Here's to skipping rush hour! I hope that also works in romantic terms.


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"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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22 Mar 2019, 9:24 pm

cberg wrote:
I agree however I also need to find enjoyable ways of piquing anyone's curiosity. The struggles that affect my relationships with everyone are all part of the same whole.

I'm alright at making new friends I suppose but I take things slow with everyone because I don't want to ignore those who took the time our of our ridiculously busy lives to really get to know me.

I'm trying to be honest about my strengths & weaknesses in order to become more relatable as well as to help some friends relax.

Now to finish my homework & drive home across town. Here's to skipping rush hour! I hope that also works in romantic terms.


One of the ways that I bonded over tech with (and also learned some things from) my first "computer guy" boyfriend in college is that he taught me how to play an online roll-playing game (it was Diablo II--which ages me, I fear :lol: ) and then we networked our computers in our apartment so we could play with each other as well as with other people online. We spent so many hours playing that game together, I have a lot of fond memories of that time.

Maybe you could start a tradition of game night or something like that with your friends?

EDIT: I just remembered "The Secret Cow Level". I laughed so hard when we found that. :lol: