02 Aug 2022, 4:45 am
How wonderful.
I highly doubt your Gf isn’y aware about it yet; have you two considered going poly?
In the pre-Political Correctness days, there was a word to describe this type of person.
We never cheated. We have never done anything more than a hug.
She's a complicated individual. I don't expect people to be perfect.
I suspected that. Unless you count strong connections as cheating.
02 Aug 2022, 6:06 am
02 Aug 2022, 6:12 am
02 Aug 2022, 6:29 am
02 Aug 2022, 6:37 am
02 Aug 2022, 6:42 am
02 Aug 2022, 7:10 am
02 Aug 2022, 8:30 am
i worked with someone, I suspect she has ASD. We fell in love as co-workers but I had no idea she had feelings for me.
I havent read your OP in great detail but me and this girl had those deep talks like what you wrote about.
A friend of ours saw our behaviour towards each other across the dinner table and just out of the blue suggested we get married. I said I would but said 'but I dont think she would' answering for her 
We got engaged, but a few things went wrong and I havent heard from her in months.
She is on my mind a lot . So I think you're actually in love with this girl. Problem is , if you confessed your feelings it would put her in a tight spot of having to decide whether or not to run away from her fiance.
I suppose if you feel really strongly for her and wait until she is actually married it will make it worse. But interrupting someone else's engagement isn't a nice option either.
In my case, I suspect that if I married someone else I'd be thinking about my ex, it's kind of messed me up. I would have to meet someone I liked as much or more, which is difficult, to even consider marrying anyone else.
I am also annoyed at myself for having these illogical feelings for someone who doesn't seem to care for me now.
In spite of my age I'm not that experienced with these things. I haven't had the experience of being in love losing her , then meeting someone else. So I don't if meeting someone else cures these feelings that we have for these ladies.
02 Aug 2022, 9:09 am
I havent read your OP in great detail but me and this girl had those deep talks like what you wrote about.
A friend of ours saw our behaviour towards each other across the dinner table and just out of the blue suggested we get married. I said I would but said 'but I dont think she would' answering for her
People who don't know us often think we're a couple. Close friends have asked if something is going on.
She is on my mind a lot . So I think you're actually in love with this girl. Problem is , if you confessed your feelings it would put her in a tight spot of having to decide whether or not to run away from her fiance.
I'd be lying if I said I hadn't had the same thought. I know how I feel is pretty much the classic description of being in love.
If you'd asked me before I met her I would of just told you it's a thing that hormonal teenagers feel, and not something you experience again as an adult.
Asking a woman to break her engagement is actually quite socially acceptable, whereas asking a woman to run away from her husband is a different story. You might as well, you dont want to be kicking yourself later.
She's the happiest she's every been. There's no way I'm going to spoil that for her.
It's not like she'd pick me over her BF anyway, he's better than me in every way.
I am also annoyed at myself for having these illogical feelings for someone who doesn't seem to care for me now.
Most of the time it's manageable, I'm happy being friends with her. I just don't want my feelings to spoil that by saying or doing something stupid.
02 Aug 2022, 9:23 am
I havent read your OP in great detail but me and this girl had those deep talks like what you wrote about.
A friend of ours saw our behaviour towards each other across the dinner table and just out of the blue suggested we get married. I said I would but said 'but I dont think she would' answering for her
We got engaged, but a few things went wrong and I havent heard from her in months.
I think it might be a mistake to get into a normal relationship, even more to become engaged or married, when you have that kind of strong feelings. They are meant for building a connection, and too much talking & social life will spoil it.
02 Aug 2022, 9:31 am
I havent read your OP in great detail but me and this girl had those deep talks like what you wrote about.
A friend of ours saw our behaviour towards each other across the dinner table and just out of the blue suggested we get married. I said I would but said 'but I dont think she would' answering for her
We got engaged, but a few things went wrong and I havent heard from her in months.
I think it might be a mistake to get into a normal relationship, even more to become engaged or married, when you have that kind of strong feelings. They are meant for building a connection, and too much talking & social life will spoil it.
I'm confused as to how you worded it.
You're saying you shouldnt marry anyone you feel strongly about?
02 Aug 2022, 9:36 am
I don't know if this romantic love thing is a lifelong sentence. I mean, if you met someone else you loved would you still be in love with her? I don't know how it works exactly, despite there being 2 trillion songs and books on the subject
If I were able to marry my ex and have it stable I would love to and wouldnt replace her for the world, but as we're not in contact I'm hoping that meeting someone else is the answer.
We only hung out for 2 months and I had over a year of feeling bad about it ending, not a great deal in my estimation I'll tell ya.
You're measuring whether he is better than you 'in every way' by your bloke standards. She might have different standards.
02 Aug 2022, 9:49 am
If I were able to marry my ex and have it stable I would love to and wouldnt replace her for the world, but as we're not in contact I'm hoping that meeting someone else is the answer.
We only hung out for 2 months and I had over a year of feeling bad about it ending, not a great deal in my estimation I'll tell ya.
You just have to enjoy things while you can. Nothing lasts forever.
I still wouldn't do anything to spoil how happy she is. That's the only thing I really care about.
02 Aug 2022, 10:04 am
02 Aug 2022, 10:06 am
I havent read your OP in great detail but me and this girl had those deep talks like what you wrote about.
A friend of ours saw our behaviour towards each other across the dinner table and just out of the blue suggested we get married. I said I would but said 'but I dont think she would' answering for her
We got engaged, but a few things went wrong and I havent heard from her in months.
I think it might be a mistake to get into a normal relationship, even more to become engaged or married, when you have that kind of strong feelings. They are meant for building a connection, and too much talking & social life will spoil it.
I'm confused as to how you worded it.
You're saying you shouldnt marry anyone you feel strongly about?
It might sound a bit harsh, but that's the essence of it. Dating, commitment, engagement & marriage are NT constructs poorly adapted to autistics. Nonverbal distance stuff & strong infatuations go particularly poorly with dating and all the rest. In fact, they get spoiled by it.
02 Aug 2022, 12:15 pm
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