Newly assessed Aspiewoman! Just diagnosed at age 53.

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Good day all,

New to the forums! I just wrapped up an autism assessment with Tania Marshall, M.Sc. (research and clinical psychologist and author of "Aspiengirl" and "Aspienwoman").

I'm so glad I finally took the initiative to do it. I've suspected for a while that I was on the spectrum and it's valuable to have the confirmation and additional insight from an experienced clinician. I recommend her assessments without reservation.

I'm definitely Aspie-flavored... my special interests and talents lean toward the artsy (writing, editing, music, photography). I'm a pattern thinker, which means I gravitate toward activities like learning foreign languages. I was hyperlexic as a child and had some of the typical sensory issues (sensitivity to fabrics, for example), some of which have faded over time. I'm introverted as well, so I don't talk much, but when I do I have to watch for too many $10 words

Why get assessed at the age of 53?
* Well, I have some pretty severe social and relational deficits for which I've always blamed myself (and for which society will encourage people to blame themselves).
* Other explanations, like depression or addiction, didn't cut it with respect to the relational impairments I've experienced. Therapy and 12 step group attendance haven't helped in the social realm either, although it's been good to have confidantes along the way.
* I'm also very weary of masking frenetically, especially at work, which like many of us older folks I've had to do for decades.

I anticipate far-reaching changes in my life this year, and accepting myself as being on the spectrum will be one of those changes.

I very much look forward to meeting other folks here and elsewhere in what Tania calls the autism "collective."

-- Amy B.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Hello from another newbie!

Welcome! Congratulations on getting it figured out!

Congratulations!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Hey Testingwithfire, I'm a 54 year old female Aspie who has never been formally diagnosed. I've done some online self- assessments and am pretty sure I have it. May I ask, what did the assessment from your psychologist involve? And how long did it take?

Welcome, testingwithfire. From one older and recently diagnosed person with autism to another. I identify completely with what you said about masking for years in the work world. At my age (close to yours), I'm realizing my desire to mask is waning and feel I've less need for doing so. I am who I am.

StillSwimming: I admit I'm nitpicking because in a reverse way, you indicate that you're self diagnosed. Identifying as self diagnosed is most definitely welcome here; after all, even most of us with a formal diagnosis started with a self diagnosis. In my opinion though, a self diagnosed person should refrain from referring to themselves as an Aspie or a person with autism. My apologies if I offend.

@testingwithfire, that's the best username I've seen in a very very long while! I wish I was that creative when choosing my username... maybe it's just because I am admittedly a bit of a pyromaniac sometimes.

What inspired you to get this name? Congrats on the assessment, BTW.

Hello! I enjoy artsy things too.

Welcome. This place is very nice and kind. I joined to ask questions as I don't have a clue if I am on the spectrum or not. I may not be and just have a few shared areas which is probably likely as apart from one symptom which may or may not be related to the spectrum (No idea either way) I don't believe I get any issues. Well. Think of it this way. I have always been me so know no different.
However, over the last few years five times people have thought I have had it, (And it took me two years or more of going in to see doctors with other things and wanting to ask while I was there but each time having mind blank situations due to nurves... Where when I took my mum in with me (If I have it she has it but she says as she is a pensioner it is no point for her to be assessed), that finally I am on the long list to be assessed to see if I have it or not. The problem is the stress of a wait... Sometimes I think of removing myself from the list so I don't get the feelings of panic. Then I am calm... Umm. Over a year wait of this... Would I feel better if I was not on the list after all?)

Back to giving you a welcome. I am sure you will enjoy it in here. People are so patient, accepting and tallented in here. I am sure you will find it most wecoming and a great forum to ask things and talk about things. I have opened up in here in aays I have never done anywhere else in quite so much detail, so even if it is that I am not on the spectrum, it has been really good for me to unload. I apologise to others for unloading... But understand, it makes me feel relieved and happier. You don't have to read any of it!

I was diagnosed at age 34. I got diagnosed for the same reasons. No other diagnoses explained my social deficits, although I have other psychological issues such as anxiety, depression, ADHD, and dyscalculia.

Welcome from another new member also diagnosed last Tuesday.

Welcome to WP.

Pardon my occasionally laconic writing style. Used to writing up tech tickets these days and have learned to be economical with words. Could likely compete with you with respect to sesquipedalian vocab.

I also have a knack for languages. I speak 5 and can identify many others. I also have some special interests in the sciences and history. Hobby and first love is radio. Extra class ham operator and volunteer Examiner (I passed all the tests, now I give the tests).

Before we had things like the Internet and Duolingo, I listened to foreign radio broadcasts and amateur stations to practice language skills. Now I can stream foreign TV on YouTube.

Was diagnosed in 2018. Hasn't changed very much for me, but have been going through a lot of other things. Soon enough, I'll be able to begin moving forward. Let me know if you find a good discussion group W or SW of Boston, or better yet WMA. Otherwise, I'll have to start one in CT. Have been meaning to visit Mona's group down in NYC, but life gets in the way.

Welcome to you, testing with fire:

I'm a newbie here on WP too. Its a sad fact that those of us who reside on this band of the spectrum and whose birthdates are in the second half of the 20th C missed out on diagnosis due to the fact that it was so little known about. Certainly the paediatrician my parents used back then, although the best that was available in the country we lived in then had no idea whatsoever and that led to a range of highly suboptimal decisions and outcomes.

I found it simultaneously a relief, a confirmation and an affirmation, to be diagnosed and also a challenge to redefine your own inner sense of meaning and your own narrative of your Self, your childhood and experiences, and then of the uncertain journey through Aspie adulthood, navigating parent and sibling losses, and building and constructing the mask so you can pass more or less adequately (sic) in work and relationships.

Wishing you well on the next part of your journey. When I was diagnosed I personally found it useful to spend six months or so keeping a journal/memoir which helped me in that redefinition task I referred to above. I have no doubt that each of our processes are different though so just sharing this. I then sealed it up for my children for later since I came to understand more richly how all the Aspie traits had been played out in my life and felt I would like them to understand too. As you say, your comments on languages, introversion, pattern thinking, hyperlexia, hypercalculia, fabric sensitivity/tactility etc etc all sound consonant.

I was fortunate to meet my lovely wife later in life once Aspieness became more comprehensible to me, and she is one of the few people I have discovered in life to accept me genuinely as and for what I am - I feel particularly blessed, as so many of us struggle in this domain of our lives.

Bienvenue,

Le loup solitaire!