I feel like missing out by not socialising at clubs,bars etc

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I went to a club before, it had dancing, karaoke night, pool tables, bar, my Aspergers wasn’t worse back then, it was in 2007. Someone tried to pick me up The club is gone now.

I was once invited by my college friends to go to a dance club with them.

They told me to meet them outside the club at 11.

Well, I waited and waited and waited. I was the only one there, the place was in darkness and all closed up.

By the time it had got to 12.30 I gave up and went to the chippy for my lunch.

Being aspie means you're quite lucky as you probably have some sort of a passion. Go somewhere which attracts like minded people. If they congregate in a pub, go to that sort of a pub. They're unlikely to be at nightclubs.

I used to go to a writing group which was at a pub. It was male dominated and the men spoke over and patronised the women so I didn't like it but for a guy it would have been ok. My football's on at a pub. Both times - I don't drink. I have lunch at the pub when I go for football. I wish I had a bigger appetite because then I could have Irish food, instead I just have chips and onion rings.

But just generically going to a pub? You're only missing out if you like being around drunken strangers. Same with if you just generically go to a nightclub except more skin. (there's the internet for that haha)

It does depend on the pub though. And things which are of interest in pubs include - board games/karaoke nights/quiz nights. A lot of aspies love quiz nights, you could try inviting your friends to those.

Don't go to places just because they're 'hip'. That's bad enough for NTs and not what we ought to do as aspies. Go to places because they actually have things there which appeal to you.

I might be projecting my own difficulties....But imagine you tried. Would you have fun? Would you be into the atmosphere? Would you actually socialize or just sit in the corner on your phone trying to zone out the noise? If you did socialize would you actually meet people you would wanna know? After all if they enjoy loud environments and alcohol....guess what they would do with their time in any follow up activity. Would you be comfortable in that environment?

I mean as I get into my 30s I tend to romanticize that stuff and wonder if I missed out on meeting people in such an environment....until I realize if I went I wouldn't have fun, I'm terrible at socializing, and if I did meet people I'd have almost nothing in common with them.

I've been to bars a few times. They're really nothing special, just a place for people to "blow off steam" with alcohol, food, and socializing without a lot of planning or preparation. Some restaurants will have a bar and something on TV, too. My mother really likes those for some reason, so I've sat at one with her a few times when we went out to eat. You could talk to the bartender or nearby people.

I don't know many people who actively go to bars and clubs at my age. I mainly go out for tabletop games, board games, etc.

I can't really do bars/partying, don't have the money, don't get invited that often, and I can't be getting wasted and staying up late all the time because it screws up my schedule too much. What I do if I want to socialize outside is go to either a bar during off hours, or a coffee shop with a coffee bar and talk to the barista/bartender, it's social, fun, and actually relaxing instead of being the nightmare that a club/bar is during peak hours.

Bars are loud, crowded, $$, dark (light sensitivity), full of drunk angry customers, dangerous

I have pub here in my town like they do in London, I guess, it said London Pub, I been in it a few times in the past, I wasn’t there to drink, I was there for their food or to get coffee. I don’t go there anymore, it’s too loud, too crowded, they have sports TV, ALOT of men watching sports & cheering very loudly when they is a win.

One time, I think around the age of 18 or so, a friend takes me to a party.

I immediately find the nerdiest looking person and we spend the whole time talking about how interesting black holes are.

This is me at these sorts of events, although I'm far less likely to attend in the first place these days.