Fell in love with girl with Lujan-Fryns Syndrome
I am sorry if my intents and words are misunderstood.
I apologize if I offended you in any way.
Keep in mind, I had no intention of asking her any of this.
I was seeking the experience of experts to shed light on what her condition might be, so I could understand her situation.
Exactly.
I think I accidentally insulted one of the members here and some others have leap-frogged off of his post.
But yes, as you say, no one here is a medical-professional so they can't say whether I or the girl I care about are Autistic or not.
And I'm definitely not a medical-professional and never claimed to be one.
I've read people's experiences in different threads that some people don't react well to being told they might be Autistic.
Kindly point to the part of my posts where I claimed that.
I think I really hit a raw nerve with you, and that wasn't really my intent.
I love Aspies, largely because of this girl and coming to WrongPlanet to learn about myself and the secret world of Aspies.
I'm sorry if you feel I insulted you - I did not mean to.
_________________
The judgmental hostility and sarcasm directed at someone who is simply curious and behaving politely, says more against those dishing it out than it does against the OP.
There are other places I venture in cyberspace where I have found that WP has a bad reputation because of this sort of thing.
@Dog1 it could be a combination of things. I have a combination of disorders. My guess is that if you get into a serious enough relationship to the point where you get to know her family, you'll find out a lot more about it if there's anything for them to tell.
Yes. The OP is not a bad person.
Don't know why a certain few folks are beating up on him.
To Dog!: Welcome to Wrong Planet.
But having said that....
When I made my post on page one of the thread I had assumed that you knew for a fact that she had the condition, and didn't realize that you were just speculating.
So you might want to heed a certain piece of advice that they give to med students: "when you hear hoof beats-think 'horses'- don't think 'zebras'".
The young lady has physical and behavorial traits that folks with no condition at all have (the most common thing), and traits that aspies/autistics have ( at one in 60 its a rare condition), but are also consistent with this LFS thing you're talking about. But that's even MORE rare than autism. Far more rare. You skipped past common, skipped past somewhat rare, and latched right onto extremely rare (and unlikely) to make your diagnosis. That's beyond zebra, and is into unicorn country. Lol! Based upon your data I would say that she is more likely to be just a zebra, or even just a normal horse, than to be a unicorn.
First off, I doubt you've offended anybody. Maybe rubbed a couple of people the wrong way, but that'd be about it.
The problem is you're reading some articles or pages online and then feeling as though you're qualified to diagnose yourself and others, and you're just not. I think the thing that most rubs people the wrong way is the way you say with certainty that you have autism and that she has autism and LFS when you haven't had any of that verified by a professional and it's all just your opinion based on things you've read on the internet. Had you come here and instead said "I believe I have autism" or "I suspect the girl I like has LFD", and stated it as an opinion rather than a fact (which it is, until diagnosed by a professional), you likely would have received less hostility.
[Quote=Dog1]I just really don't want to give up on her.[/quote]Why do you perceive that not diagnosing her with anything is giving up on her? Unless she specifically asks you to help her figure out if she has a condition, or talks about probably having a condition but not knowing what it is, you should leave her be. If she wants to figure out whether she has autism or whatever else, she'll figure it out, or she'll bring it up. Trying to diagnose her is not up to you, and she hasn't even hinted that she wants you to try, so just leave it and enjoy chatting to her. If you think you have autism, why not get yourself diagnosed so you can say so with certainty?
ASPartOfMe
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Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,455
Location: Long Island, New York
I believe the OP delved into topics that he was unaware are controversial on WP an the autistic community at large.
Some context is needed. Self diagnosis or diagnosing others has always been a controversial topic in the Autistic community. There is a feeling that Autism is a trendy condition, that there are a lot of Autism wannabes who self diagnose to seem cool or excuse bad behaviors. This is believed to hurt “real autistics” by making others think they are drama queens and excuse makers. It is a rare autistic who has not been accused of these things for their Autistic behaviors, has not been told Autism is a fake disease, a politically correct label for being a lazy as*hole. Diagnosing celebrities and historical figures is viewed by some as deluding oneself into thinking one is an unrecognized Einstein or Gates. It is thought to hurt “real autistics” because it stereotypes Autistics as socially awkward geniuses masking the real world struggles of autistics. Thus anybody diagnosing themselves is sometimes unfairly viewed with suspicion.
Self diagnosis and diagnosing the famous has its proponents.
_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity
It is Autism Acceptance Month
“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman
Some context is needed. Self diagnosis or diagnosing others has always been a controversial topic in the Autistic community. There is a feeling that Autism is a trendy condition, that there are a lot of Autism wannabes who self diagnose to seem cool or excuse bad behaviors. This is believed to hurt “real autistics” by making others think they are drama queens and excuse makers. It is a rare autistic who has not been accused of these things for their Autistic behaviors, has not been told Autism is a fake disease, a politically correct label for being a lazy as*hole. Diagnosing celebrities and historical figures is viewed by some as deluding oneself into thinking one is an unrecognized Einstein or Gates. It is thought to hurt “real autistics” because it stereotypes Autistics as socially awkward geniuses masking the real world struggles of autistics. Thus anybody diagnosing themselves is sometimes unfairly viewed with suspicion.
Self diagnosis and diagnosing the famous has its proponents.
Well spoken.
OP, it's a mark of considerable intellectual maturity to acknowledge there are things one cannot reliably ascertain about oneself, due to the universal human tendency to judge reality through various filters. I would say that yes, it does rub us the wrong way when someone without advanced training in autism (and medicine) feels competent to diagnose this and that, in self or others. Grow a little humility about your limitations of intellect - and I will concede that you have a pretty good intellect, but maybe not as grand as you'd like to think.
I hope things go well with this lady friend. Let us know!
_________________
A finger in every pie.
I'll highlight it, since you missed it the first time I posted the response.
I wasn't aware of the customs of this place - I am a newcomer to the world of Autism, and so I apologize if I have offended you, as it was not my intent.
I wasn't aware that was an offense here, but I do love her, and because of her, all Aspies, too.
I love you as well.
I feel the way you do - I can be nitpicky as well, and I understand the can be an Autistic trait.
I came here because I love this girl - it is not my intention to insult you and I don't want you to feel that way.
Some context is needed. Self diagnosis or diagnosing others has always been a controversial topic in the Autistic community. There is a feeling that Autism is a trendy condition, that there are a lot of Autism wannabes who self diagnose to seem cool or excuse bad behaviors. This is believed to hurt “real autistics” by making others think they are drama queens and excuse makers. It is a rare autistic who has not been accused of these things for their Autistic behaviors, has not been told Autism is a fake disease, a politically correct label for being a lazy as*hole. Diagnosing celebrities and historical figures is viewed by some as deluding oneself into thinking one is an unrecognized Einstein or Gates. It is thought to hurt “real autistics” because it stereotypes Autistics as socially awkward geniuses masking the real world struggles of autistics. Thus anybody diagnosing themselves is sometimes unfairly viewed with suspicion.
Self diagnosis and diagnosing the famous has its proponents.
Well spoken.
OP, it's a mark of considerable intellectual maturity to acknowledge there are things one cannot reliably ascertain about oneself, due to the universal human tendency to judge reality through various filters. I would say that yes, it does rub us the wrong way when someone without advanced training in autism (and medicine) feels competent to diagnose this and that, in self or others. Grow a little humility about your limitations of intellect - and I will concede that you have a pretty good intellect, but maybe not as grand as you'd like to think.
I hope things go well with this lady friend. Let us know!
Bea Arthur from The Golden Girls?
I thought you passed away years ago...
Some context is needed. Self diagnosis or diagnosing others has always been a controversial topic in the Autistic community. There is a feeling that Autism is a trendy condition, that there are a lot of Autism wannabes who self diagnose to seem cool or excuse bad behaviors. This is believed to hurt “real autistics” by making others think they are drama queens and excuse makers. It is a rare autistic who has not been accused of these things for their Autistic behaviors, has not been told Autism is a fake disease, a politically correct label for being a lazy as*hole. Diagnosing celebrities and historical figures is viewed by some as deluding oneself into thinking one is an unrecognized Einstein or Gates. It is thought to hurt “real autistics” because it stereotypes Autistics as socially awkward geniuses masking the real world struggles of autistics. Thus anybody diagnosing themselves is sometimes unfairly viewed with suspicion.
Self diagnosis and diagnosing the famous has its proponents.
Great point.
I would say then, that I suspect that myself and the girl I know may be Autistic.
If matching up the known characteristics of Autism (as discussed on WP for example) with the characteristics one has in their life is any indicator, then it's a strong possibility.
The problem is you're reading some articles or pages online and then feeling as though you're qualified to diagnose yourself and others, and you're just not. I think the thing that most rubs people the wrong way is the way you say with certainty that you have autism and that she has autism and LFS when you haven't had any of that verified by a professional and it's all just your opinion based on things you've read on the internet. Had you come here and instead said "I believe I have autism" or "I suspect the girl I like has LFD", and stated it as an opinion rather than a fact (which it is, until diagnosed by a professional), you likely would have received less hostility. Why do you perceive that not diagnosing her with anything is giving up on her? Unless she specifically asks you to help her figure out if she has a condition, or talks about probably having a condition but not knowing what it is, you should leave her be. If she wants to figure out whether she has autism or whatever else, she'll figure it out, or she'll bring it up. Trying to diagnose her is not up to you, and she hasn't even hinted that she wants you to try, so just leave it and enjoy chatting to her. If you think you have autism, why not get yourself diagnosed so you can say so with certainty?
I am not a professional, but I agree that I should see one to get myself diagnosed to be certain.
Don't know why a certain few folks are beating up on him.
To Dog!: Welcome to Wrong Planet.
But having said that....
When I made my post on page one of the thread I had assumed that you knew for a fact that she had the condition, and didn't realize that you were just speculating.
So you might want to heed a certain piece of advice that they give to med students: "when you hear hoof beats-think 'horses'- don't think 'zebras'".
The young lady has physical and behavorial traits that folks with no condition at all have (the most common thing), and traits that aspies/autistics have ( at one in 60 its a rare condition), but are also consistent with this LFS thing you're talking about. But that's even MORE rare than autism. Far more rare. You skipped past common, skipped past somewhat rare, and latched right onto extremely rare (and unlikely) to make your diagnosis. That's beyond zebra, and is into unicorn country. Lol! Based upon your data I would say that she is more likely to be just a zebra, or even just a normal horse, than to be a unicorn.
Yes, I'm not a bad person. I fought in several tours in Afghanistan as a Marine and almost died a few times.
Now I seek knowledge because I'm in love with a girl who I suspect may be Autistic - and now people are beating me with their keyboards.
Thank you, though.
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