Getting help finding a real job

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So I asked my towns FB group and people are warning me about Goodwill, saying I have a college degree, I should find much better than that. But I don't know who to turn to, had to cancel one interview and if I get anymore out of town job interviews or offers not even my family wants to help. My families reaction is that our income was plenty to live off of! But most of my family are not college educated and have very low standards.

What is your degree in?

Masters or bachelor?

Plenty of social science and humanities majors are unemployed or underemployed

"Beggars can't be choosers"

Especially autistics

The time to sit around fantasizing about your ideal job has long gone



Unless you have a STEM degree or a personality employers want, your job prospects are not too great


Realistic versus idealistic

There is nothing at all wrong with working at Goodwill or any other honest job. Get the money coming in, even if it's a relatively low wage, and that will make you feel better right away. You can use your college education for other things on the side, or for personal enjoyment. But there's nothing wrong with Goodwill — you'll be providing an important service for many people, and maybe you'll even advance in the organization.

There's something wrong with everything


Ask yourself what job is, the least wrong


"Important" is a vague word


"Important" means "of great value" in the dictionary


"Most people" act like "important" means "of value"


You can't measure the value

The value is constantly changing


Only so many things can be "important"


Mathematically



A circle has 360 degrees


Everything "important" is over five degrees



There are only twenty four hours in a day



Counselor Jamie Adair told me that the reason why you think you are worthless is because no job






Wrong










Some people with jobs are worthless


Or at least, not as valuable as they act like they are



Below salvage value

I agree with that.

I noticed that personality is a key thing when it comes to landing a job. It starts with the interview where you get a chance to charm the employer or the HR.(If you happen to be so lucky to have those awesome social skills that is )
I even saw in many job description that employers were looking for employees with good humour, unique personality and so forth.

If your folks do not agree you could maybe sway their opinion by saying something in the lines of : it is something that you want to experience; It is not necessarily about the money but about meeting new people and exercising social interactions; because you want a change in your life.

Well, maybe you should talk to the said people and ask them if they have any ideas what to do (instead of what not to do)?
I have no idea myself, living on the other end of the world
Why did you have to cancel an interview?

Actually, my experience is that unemployment is really low right now (at least in the US), so people are more willing to hire. "More willing" doesn't mean "completely desperate," though. They want some kind of background on people or indication that hiring them isn't going to cause more problems than it solves, which is why it's helpful to have a consistent work history, which is something I lacked for a long time.

My voc rehab counselor recommended I apply at new Goodwill store that was opening up before I got my 1st job. GW rejected me immediately when I talked to em because I was not on disability benefits. They said working there was mostly for people who were disabled or retired & receive either SSI or Social Security Disability cuz working there did not pay much. I was not on disability at the time. I ideally wanted a full time job with benefits however I have various mental & physical disabilities & only a high-skewl diploma & had no work history or experience at the time so noone would hire me. I was hoping I could work at GW a while & get my foot in the door with gaining work experience but GW would not let me submit an application.

Well the job I interviewed for last week I guess is a real job, only lasts about a year but is full time, 15-17 hours an hour plus benefits...

Anyway I emailed the job and the lady said this morning thanks for following up, they are still deciding who to give the offer too, I will know soon.

My husband was in the hospital yet again... They suggested yet again he needs long-term care in a care home. He refused again and came home. Husband got angry with me when I agreed. Husband is begging saying "I love you, please don't dump me!" But he doesn't care if I go to Indiana by myself for the job and he wants me to give him some of the money... This is not making me feel good...

He is afraid if he is in a care home, he will lose you and your love. (He may also be afraid the care there will not be very good.) I am going through a somewhat similar situation with my husband. Because he sometimes wanders off without telling me, we are going to start looking at long-term care situations, and I suggested it is to his advantage to come with me and see which places he likes better or worse. I had a social worker at the senior center discuss this with us and found that was helpful. He has heard me say I would gladly keep him home but I can't live with his wandering off in cold weather with no shoes, socks, hat or coat on, which he did about a month ago. We validated that he doesn't like dependence on someone else and he values his independence, but he also heard us telling him that sometimes his judgment isn't very good while other times, it is.

So maybe what you have to do with him is help him see your (and the hospital's) point of view regarding his care, and also let him see that you see his point of view and understand it. Maybe involve him in the placement decision to an extent so he is not just passed around like a hot potato. I am not saying you need to do this alone, because it's really hard to do (even without autism).

I am sorry to say it but between you and your husband, he is NOT getting adequate care. I suspect he is willful about things that are not good for him, such as sugary sodas or following a strict diet, and I suspect you cave in and let him get away with it. Whatever the situation is, he still is having inadequate management of his diabetes and then there is this G.I. thing also. It may also be that you have not imposed a diet, exercise, and medication regimen on him, either because you don't understand it or because it exceeds your executive function limits.

So one "hook" to getting buy-in on the nursing home thing is pointing out that overall, his health is worse, not better. Also, care homes often have a lot of nice things like social activities, music, crafts, and so on. Touring a few places might give some ideas what is good and not good about them. (I realize you have no car, though.)

Another approach might be "well, you are not getting well, so it's either a facility, or home visits. Which do you want to try first?"

As to this business about you dumping him and moving to another state but sending him money - I think he (realistically) fears abandonment. But I don't see it as abandonment. You could point out that once you have settled in to your job, you could move him out to be with you. Even then, though, he may need visiting nurse services or something similar to check his bloods, monitor his diet, etc. Remember that at another job you had most recently, husband kept calling you up with some crisis or other, and this was both stressful and unprofessional to have such intrusions on your day. So if you are serious about working, whether here or there, he STILL needs additional professional help with his health.

I know it seems too hard and confusing sometimes, but I do see you guys as having a brighter outlook if you can overcome dysfunctional habits and work toward better physical, mental, and financial health.

This month I spent more cash money than usual on food in the grocery store and tried getting appropriate things. One social worker told me to leave and that would force him to get help, because if I'm here he'll lean on me.

I was talking to my husband's home nurse and found out her daughter lives in the same area of Indiana that job is in and to tell her if I get hired because her daughter might be able to help, she suggested moving my husband to Indiana with me. I told the hiring lady for this job I might have help in Indiana and also we have personal friends in the Ft. Wayne area and she said "thanks for that information", I'm hoping that if she knows I'd have help getting to Indiana she'd be more likely to hire me. I've been contacted by a couple other jobs that said they started reviewing apps and will be in touch.