Page 1 of 16 [ 238 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 16  Next

Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,510
Location: The Vile Belt

23 Apr 2019, 12:53 pm

I truly can't handle being disliked. Whenever I am hurt verbally or physically, my mind will replay what the other person did endlessly to me even when I want it to stop. Even when other people tell me they like me, just one person telling me they don't like me tears me apart. It makes me feel like they are the correct ones while the ones who do like me are incorrect.



magz
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,350
Location: Poland

23 Apr 2019, 1:04 pm

I know the feeling. It's likely one of the sources of my social anxiety. It may have come from constant criticism I have always received from my mother - like I internalized it into a belief citicism is what counts.
It's wrong but being able to see the world differently requires a lot of hard work.


_________________
Ailurophrenia. Meow.
Giving up my attempts to become a proper human.


littlebee
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,480

23 Apr 2019, 1:15 pm

"It makes me feel like they are the correct ones while the ones who do like me are incorrect."

For them it is "correct," in that it is what they are experiencing. There is no ultimate truth that any human being is or is not likeable as it is always experienced in subjective context.



MagicMeerkat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jun 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,376
Location: either here or there

23 Apr 2019, 2:05 pm

I had to learn quite young that not everyone was going to like me. As an adult I could care less who likes me and who don't. If a person likes me, great. But I figure it won't last long. If they don't like me, that's fine I probably don't like them either.


_________________
"So for all of you with the courage to stand up and say "I am me, screw you, World if you don't like it!" Here's to you!
-Erik Sprague


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 36,971
Location: Stendec

23 Apr 2019, 2:10 pm

MagicMeerkat wrote:
I had to learn quite young that not everyone was going to like me. As an adult I couldn't care less who likes me and who doesn't. If a person likes me, great. But I figure it won't last long. If they don't like me, that's fine I probably don't like them either.
^ THIS ^

My life took a turn for the better when I stopped worrying about what people thought of me. In fact, I would rather know that someone honestly hates me than believe they like me when they don't.


_________________
Remain Calm!
Hug a Bawapakerwa-a-a-awapawab!


Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,510
Location: The Vile Belt

23 Apr 2019, 2:53 pm

I had a caretaker who liked me more than my older brother but it was the reverse when school started for me. Oddly, my mother was paranoid someone was going to kidnap me and she panicked when a school wanted to put my school picture in the newspaper.



Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,510
Location: The Vile Belt

23 Apr 2019, 7:33 pm

EDIT: Change of heart.



Last edited by Marknis on 23 Apr 2019, 9:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 57,255
Location: Queens, NYC

23 Apr 2019, 7:46 pm

Marknis. You have to give people a break sometimes.

Magz is a nice person.

She was identifying with you.



Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,510
Location: The Vile Belt

23 Apr 2019, 11:58 pm

When people tell me to let go of my past, it's like they are saying it was ok for the bullies who harmed to have done what they did.



magz
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,350
Location: Poland

24 Apr 2019, 2:24 am

Cool, I must have missed something :mrgreen:

Marknis wrote:
When people tell me to let go of my past, it's like they are saying it was ok for the bullies who harmed to have done what they did.

"let it go" ≠ "it was ok"

I understand letting go the past as focusing on present and future more than on the past that has already happened and can't be changed.


_________________
Ailurophrenia. Meow.
Giving up my attempts to become a proper human.


Wolfram87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Feb 2015
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,478
Location: Sweden

24 Apr 2019, 3:07 am

Marknis wrote:
When people tell me to let go of my past, it's like they are saying it was ok for the bullies who harmed to have done what they did.


"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."

-Buddha (allegedly)


_________________
I'm bored out of my skull, let's play a different game. Let's pay a visit down below and cast the world in flame.


Harpuia
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

Joined: 30 Mar 2019
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 97
Location: Atlanta, GA

24 Apr 2019, 7:13 am

The problem I had to learn was the opposite. What other people think of me matters a great deal. Without it, you cant get a job, a social life, a love life, or just generally be able to function in society at all.


_________________
Diagnosed with Asperger's/ASD March 2012
AQ: 32
EQ: 30
Rdos: Your Aspie score: 126 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 90 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


magz
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,350
Location: Poland

24 Apr 2019, 7:38 am

Harpuia wrote:
The problem I had to learn was the opposite. What other people think of me matters a great deal. Without it, you cant get a job, a social life, a love life, or just generally be able to function in society at all.

There is something called healthy balance. One may be on either side of it.


_________________
Ailurophrenia. Meow.
Giving up my attempts to become a proper human.


SaveFerris
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2016
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,524
Location: UK

24 Apr 2019, 7:42 am

Marknis wrote:
When people tell me to let go of my past, it's like they are saying it was ok for the bullies who harmed to have done what they did.


That's because you appear to misinterpret what people are saying to you , you appear hyper vigilant , maybe because you have been hurt in the past. You always appear to be looking for the negative in peoples comments especially your detractors.

If you don't let go , you can't move forward.

You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.

When the past calls , let it go to voicemail , it has nothing new to add.


_________________
R Tape loading error, 0:1

Hypocrisy is the greatest luxury. Raise the double standard


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 57,255
Location: Queens, NYC

24 Apr 2019, 8:14 am

I’ve had to learn to MAKE myself liked.

I was widely disliked as a schoolboy....by pupils and teachers alike....