Jealous of the guys at work being able to flirt with women

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You always assume I do nothing, cause if I did do something they’d id be middle class and in a relationship. To conservatives there’s either success or your lazy. The real world is full of people who trailed but aren’t successful. Not everyone can be successful, others have to fail for those to succeed.

Hold on there! My point had to do with what was previously said being applicable to more than just conservatives and Republicans; and the rest was more of a "better than nothing" call, meaning that there is more to dating than just improving yourself and being confident. I'm sorry that I did not make that clear.The thing about success is that it's at least as complex as autism. Some may have all the money in the world and not a single friend, yet still be considered successful. Another may work 50+ hours a week to support a family of 12 and retire at 67, and be called a success. Others may be barely scraping by and have only one true love in their life, and still be a success.

It's not all about money and fame.

For a lot of women it seems to be mostly about money hence why they refuse to date a guy who doesn’t make enough money. Just like how a lot of guys looks is most important.

This certainly seems to be the case. I think that everybody would like to "date up" -- that is, to date (or marry) someone wealthier and better-looking than they. I also think that some women may be more inclined toward wealth than good looks, while some men may be more inclined toward good looks than wealth, and that there is a large overlap somewhere in the middle. There may also be a lot of other factors (i.e., behavior, fertility, health, interests, sanity, et cetera), as well.

Think of men as animals, women are plants.

Women grow into womanhood, whereas men are MADE.

Sly, you like many other men, likely have the same upbringing that we have, that being an absentee/apathetic father who never taught us how to be men from boys. This causes us to wander aimlessly without direction or a motor, worse yet we look for what the mother has in our suitors, yet we don't realize that women don't want to raise another boy.

This sets us back, and hamstrings us, it causes mny men to commit suicide, and it causes even more men to lose themselves in porn and videogames. Those later two form a lethal cocktail that makes you feel like hell. It took me 2 years of constant struggle to shake those things off.

But like I said, in a sad way, I think you need to experience a tragedy sooner rather than later in order to change. From what I gather in these forums a lot of other users gave you similar advise and you have not taken it, so when that tragedy hits you, don't let it overwhelm you.

When my dog was dying of cancer I kept trying to appeal to God that I will change if he can save my dog's life. When you have a loved one that is nearly dying, and will soon be taken away, that is likely going to be the catalyst that will change you.

Today, I don't have a lady, and guess what? I don't even have any female friends, but workouts and a disciplined schedule (in addition to removing pornography from my life) has made my life enjoyable, it's not perfect, but its bearable.

That's what you need to find, and from that foundation work on small goals that turn into bigger ones (with patience), this is the stage that I am at and I can already see the tremendous change that's within me.

My dog was taken away from me when I was 30. I am not that far from you, so it's not too late.



To add to what Fnord already said, let's change the objective to make failure bearable, in fact, everyone fails on their way to success, these things are what discipline, workouts, and persistence will give to you, Sly. You need to become so comfortable with yourself that you're no longer stung by rejection or failure, your masculinity needs to come from within and NOT from women. Women can't make men, and you likely being raised by a single mother, have no conception of what that is, a father was supposed to give it to you, but the good news for you is that you can well acquire it on your own.

But it will never come from women so stop looking there. Women can still be good allies and very good friends, but they (non-blood related) women are NOT there to be your mother or to fix you.

Anyawys I do empathize with where you're at, too many aspie males end up there and I know of the hell that it feels like, but it can certainly be made bearable, even comfortable, and maybe one day very enjoyable.

How about just 10 minutes of workouts each day? No matter how small you start, it is a good start, get a fitness watch to help track your daily progress as I found they offer some extra motivation. Do these things consistently and I guarantee you will feel so much better and confidant about yourself. You WILL get stronger and within one year not even recognize who you are.

Do it soon, sly, don't wait for the tragedy like I did.

Why should you be sad if you can't flirt with women? Shouldn't you not put all your happiness in women? If you find happiness in purpose, meaning, and God couldn't you then attract women?

Just a note about the eye contact thing ...

If a person is trying to interact or talk with you, and you look away from them, they will often interpret that to mean you wish to be left alone.

What if they’re just walking by ?

I just want to say as a woman,
yes to me looks are important.
But, it's not about perfection. It's about how a man's demeanor is, his walk, the way he cares for himself, if this is about being in a relationship.
Money is nice, but honesty is better by both words and actions.
I'd like to be that way too.
Also, someone who can listen and be there for a long haul.

Sly, here is the thing that you should be doing, go to work and smile and try to have a nice pleasant conversation. Build from there. If my advice makes you feel awkward or it doesn't feel right then don't follow it.