It's really not as easy as you think

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hurtloam
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30 Apr 2019, 4:25 pm

I wanted to make this topic in response to men on here saying that the women on here don't understand how women offline are and their advice is therefore not wanted.

May I just say that you guys don't have any idea on what offline men are like and therefore maybe are not so qualified to offer advice.

They seem to have too many women to choose from and can't decide on one that they want.

The advice here is just to go for a good guy, not a flashy one, not a loud show off, but a down to earth one. Out here on the font line, even the quiet ones don't know what they want and can't find a girlfriend, not for want of women showing interest, but because they can't find a woman who gives them that magic love feeling that they can forsake all other women for.

It's really not as easy as you think.



The_Face_of_Boo
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30 Apr 2019, 5:16 pm

Quote:
They seem to have too many women to choose from and can't decide on one that they want.


That's true only for the very handsome guys I know, and they're very few cases.



hurtloam
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30 Apr 2019, 5:18 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Quote:
They seem to have too many women to choose from and can't decide on one that they want.


That's true only for the very handsome guys I know, and they're very few cases.


Ah see that's where you are wrong. I showed my friends a photo of someone who has been getting interest lately, not only from me, but other women and they were like, "but he's not handsome!"

Well, I suppose you're not wrong as such in describing those you actually know, but over here in the UK this is what I'm seeing.



sly279
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30 Apr 2019, 5:52 pm

By down to earth they mean unattractive or ugly.
I’ve never had any women come after me. Men I’ve talked to haven’t either except the good looking ones.


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SecretOpossumCabal
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30 Apr 2019, 6:09 pm

As shown in another thread, 80% of the bottom guys are competing for 20% of the bottom women, 80% of women are competing for the top 20% guys.

https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/ti ... df370a6e9a

Meaning that women are struggling to get a top 20% guy as much as a bottom 80% guy is struggling to get a bottom 20% lady.

It shows in Finland, where a select group of men are having all the sex.

Image

So this is the difficulty for women, for women it's easy to get --ANY-- guy, but women don't want ANY guy, they want the cream of the crop, whereas a bottom 80% guy just wants any lady, but not just any lady wants any guy, thus the turmoil people are in today.

Women are competing for the best of men as painfully as the bottom men are competing for any women. I don't swear often but to put it mildly, it's a total s**tshow out there.



hurtloam
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30 Apr 2019, 10:58 pm

You're not listening me.

In real-life women aren't going up to every dude on the street and asking them out.

One doesn't necessarily know any unemployed men who rarely venture from home.

I'm talking about real life. Not online dating.

I'm middle class. I'm meeting men of my own social circumstances as I go about my life because this is my real life bubble.

In reality you can't ask out people you don't know and have never met.

You work with who is in front of you.

I love how you're all proving my point.

Most people live their lives offline online dating statistics are moot for discussing my point.

I don't think the word ANY means what you think it means.



Last edited by hurtloam on 30 Apr 2019, 11:06 pm, edited 2 times in total.

hurtloam
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30 Apr 2019, 11:04 pm

There are still some single men in my offline world who are acquaintances. But its not socially acceptable to work your way through your friend group dating them until you click with one. Not in your 30s at least.

People want real connections and to be chosen for some special reason, not to be next on line as you work through the people you know.



sly279
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30 Apr 2019, 11:43 pm

That might be what you want but I’ve seen people work their way through friends and end up one after while, for nts it seems this is t a concern.

Also for where you can’t date people say you can’t date from work, can’t dwye people you met at clubs, can’t date people from social groups, etc
Yet lots of people do all those so it’s more “ I don’t think you should” rather then can’t.

People ask strangers they meet all the time and go on dates with them. People use to hand out their numbers on napkins to people at restaurants or bars.

If you don’t feel comfortable or want to that’s understandable. I’m too anxious or shy to do so but I’ve seen plenty nts do so.
My sister knows a couple who started dating cause the guy asked her out when checking out she was cashier.

Fnord in my thread talked about walking up to women and asking to sit next to them I think.
I couldn’t do that. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen

I think you’re just upset right now and I feel sad for that
Hugs

You could try dating outside your class or existing social structure. Maybe try a group thing like others suggested. Is your city larger? Mines too small and lacks such things or any singles activities.


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Antrax
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01 May 2019, 12:20 am

I think Hurtloam and others are discussing two different things.

1) Getting into a relationship or just sex.

2) Getting a meaningful loving relationship.

The first is pretty easy for many females, while the second is not.


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The Grand Inquisitor
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01 May 2019, 12:22 am

Where and how often do you meet single men around your age?



hurtloam
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01 May 2019, 12:53 am

I mentioned being middle class because I meet guys through work mostly. So they're gonna be same as me, I'm not going to be meeting cashiers and striking up a conversation with them in the work canteen in my day to day life.

I'm sure a homeless guy would love to go out with me, but you have to take practicalities into concern as well. Relationships are about working as a team building a life together not offering charity to someone you wanna f**k.

Yes antrax I'm talking about a relationship, not just availability of easy sex. Good clarification.



The Grand Inquisitor
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01 May 2019, 1:11 am

Is there anywhere else you could potentially meet guys other than work? The more men you meet, the better chance you have of finding a partner. Plus work is a bit constricting in that some guys aren't going to be interested in dating there for fear of what effect it would have on their workplace if the relationship didn't work out. You haven't been having much success with guys from work, so maybe the problem is that you're not meeting guys in more laid-back settings like at social events and stuff. I think limiting the potential dating pool to only those who they work with would make it challenging to find someone for a significant portion of people, maybe even most people, and it might partially explain why the guys you've been talking to have been hesitant to take things to the next step if they're all from your work.

It seems to me like the problem might be that you're simply not meeting enough guys in more laid-back settings where there's nothing at stake if they decide to ask you out.

You know what they say. If you want a different outcome, try a different strategy.



The_Face_of_Boo
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01 May 2019, 1:57 am

You’re assuming that the offline world is entirely different from the online world.

It is not.



sly279
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01 May 2019, 1:59 am

I, also talking about relationship. I don’t think people have to be same income or middle class to love each other in meaningful relationship. Society ie companies want us to think that the only way to a meaningful relationships is through having lots of money to buy things from said companies. Yet all over the wold people with a tiny fraction f what we have are in meaningful relationships. Money doesn’t matter, things don’t matter. Relationships are all that matter. As people say you can’t take anything with you when you die. But I’m well aware men like me will never be good enough in today’s society. I only had hope as robotics and ai advanced we can create a start trek society will money and any concept of money or value doesn’t exist and people see everyone as good enough.

I don’t think god wants us to care so much about money and income. I think it’s the worse evil created by the devil to tant our souls.


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sly279
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01 May 2019, 2:05 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You’re assuming that the offline world is entirely different from the online world.

It is not.

I’ve noticed this. People here seem to think everyone single living human creates an alter ego online that’s completely made up then when they go offline complete forgets all that. I think onlin is more real then offline as people open up their true selfs they’d never show offline out of fear of being judged. That woman who’s superficial online will be superficial offline, that guy who’s racist online doesn’t stop being racist offline, they both just pretend, so offline is the fake world. I shown my real self online and pretend offline as many aspies do but most nts do it too. Everyone puts on a face in public.
why do your think companies search people social media accounts when hiring, it’s cause they can see who the real person is not what they pretend to be offline.

So all those women who say I’m ugly and not a real man wouldn’t fall madly in love with me if we met in person they’d still think I’m ugly and it a real man they’d just lie and say it’s something else.


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hurtloam
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01 May 2019, 3:35 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You’re assuming that the offline world is entirely different from the online world.

It is not.


That's not what I'm seeing or experiencing.