Page 1 of 1 [ 13 posts ] 

Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

02 May 2019, 12:33 pm

I've decided to leave the Meet Up group I used to attend on a semi-regular basis. I am sick of getting pushed to the background at the events and for being the odd man out just because I don't f*****g drink alcohol.



BeaArthur
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Aug 2015
Posts: 5,798

02 May 2019, 1:50 pm

Not sure what kind of comments you are expecting here. You've griped about that group repeatedly and it looks to me like leaving it behind is a kind of growth experience for you. There's absolutely nothing wrong with "moving on" when a situation is not meeting your needs.


_________________
A finger in every pie.


Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

04 May 2019, 1:48 pm

I see it as more that I truly don't fit in anywhere and maybe I do need to resign to being unhappy and alone until I close my eyes for good. I just hope my ex-friends never find out about me since I last had any sort of communication with them.



BeaArthur
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Aug 2015
Posts: 5,798

04 May 2019, 3:39 pm

Well, I tried to put a positive spin on leaving the group, and you put a negative spin on it.

Which spin feels better to you?


_________________
A finger in every pie.


hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,743
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

04 May 2019, 4:27 pm

I feel like I've missed something...

I don't drink when I'm out. It's too expensive. I'll have a gin and tonic once in a blue moon, but mostly I just have a soft drink.

I don't feel like anyone treats me differently because of it.

Is it the kind of bars that they're going to that you don't like?



Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

04 May 2019, 5:29 pm

hurtloam wrote:
I feel like I've missed something...

I don't drink when I'm out. It's too expensive. I'll have a gin and tonic once in a blue moon, but mostly I just have a soft drink.

I don't feel like anyone treats me differently because of it.

Is it the kind of bars that they're going to that you don't like?


You don't live in the f*****g Bible Belt. That is why you aren't treated like s**t for not drinking.



Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,136

04 May 2019, 5:57 pm

Marknis wrote:
I've decided to leave the Meet Up group I used to attend on a semi-regular basis. I am sick of getting pushed to the background at the events and for being the odd man out just because I don't f*****g drink alcohol.


They are laughing now but they won't be when they have damage to their livers while others might experience alcohol poisoning. One thing I have heard is that you can have a drink that's fixed up to look like it's alcoholic when it's completely innocent which you could try at the next meet up. All the while, you don't say anything.

Examples
1. If you like coke, you could always go to the bartender and have them fix your drink in glass that rum and coke are served in with a lime wedge.
2. You could also bring along some sparkling apple cider and pour it into a beer glass
3. Even club soda and seltzer water with a lime wedge will go a long way

Try that and if they can't accept you because of the way you are then they aren't worthy of you and it didn't sound that they are not that.

I have also read several of your posts where people give you the "That's cool," response. I had read that it's a polite but passive-aggressive way of saying, "I don't want to talk to you because I am not interested." I had read that when someone talks to you with the phony high voice
"That's awesome," "Oh wow," it's a good idea to use polite comebacks

1. You can copy their body language
2. "I see I am making you uncomfortable. Let me come back when you are more at ease."



Mona Pereth
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Sep 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,810
Location: New York City (Queens)

28 May 2019, 8:51 pm

Marknis wrote:
You don't live in the f*****g Bible Belt. That is why you aren't treated like s**t for not drinking.

Is there any chance you can possibly eventually move to a more favorable location?

If that's not possible, might it be possible for you to organize, perhaps with help from your family, some sort local network of "clean & sober" people? Such people may be scarce in your neck of the woods but surely they do exist???


_________________
- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
- My Twitter / "X" (new as of 2021)


auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,605
Location: the island of defective toy santas

28 May 2019, 9:12 pm

i wouldn't belong to any group that wouldn't have me. those drunks sound like a bunch of hemorrhoids to me. best avoid that crowd. one must get used to being an outlier.



Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

01 Jun 2019, 12:35 pm

Mona Pereth wrote:
Marknis wrote:
You don't live in the f*****g Bible Belt. That is why you aren't treated like s**t for not drinking.

Is there any chance you can possibly eventually move to a more favorable location?

If that's not possible, might it be possible for you to organize, perhaps with help from your family, some sort local network of "clean & sober" people? Such people may be scarce in your neck of the woods but surely they do exist???


I honestly don't want to live much longer because I already feel like my life is over. Sure, I am still functioning biologically but as far as advancing socially, those chances are gone.



DanielW
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jan 2019
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,833
Location: PNW USA

01 Jun 2019, 12:46 pm

If you don't want to be part of a group, because you don't drink, then leave it. If you don't like where you live - move (or work towards it) . You are the only person who can drive your life where you want it to go. No one can do that for you.



DanielW
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jan 2019
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,833
Location: PNW USA

01 Jun 2019, 2:09 pm

Marknis wrote:
I've decided to leave the Meet Up group I used to attend on a semi-regular basis. I am sick of getting pushed to the background at the events and for being the odd man out just because I don't f*****g drink alcohol.


Have you ever considered starting your own meetup group? It's something I am considering myself.



Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

18 Jun 2019, 1:25 am

DanielW wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I've decided to leave the Meet Up group I used to attend on a semi-regular basis. I am sick of getting pushed to the background at the events and for being the odd man out just because I don't f*****g drink alcohol.


Have you ever considered starting your own meetup group? It's something I am considering myself.


No.