Is being viewed as sweet bad?

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angelofdarkness
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05 May 2019, 4:07 pm

A guy said to a mutral friend of ours that im a really sweet girl but im confusing. Is this as bad as i have a feeling it is?


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BlueIris24
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05 May 2019, 4:12 pm

It's not bad, no.

It depends on the context though. If someone is calling me sweet to be condescending, then it's going to bug me.



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05 May 2019, 4:14 pm

angelofdarkness wrote:
A guy said to a mutral friend of ours that im a really sweet girl but im confusing. Is this as bad as i have a feeling it is?
No, he doesn't understand women very well which is normal for most guys his age, which is unfortunate given you are at the traditional age of courtship. I would say he has a fantasy concept of what you are like and how you would act in a given situation, but his direct experience of you is inconsistent with that fantasy.


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05 May 2019, 4:25 pm

Without knowing who said it and why, you can never know for sure. If said in good faith, it might mean that you're seen as affectionate and caring. Otherwise, it's rarely a harsh insult, unless said really sarcastically. But it can be meant condescendingly (e.g. implying you're a bit child-like) or as a back-handed compliment (e.g. implying that you're OK but there's nothing remarkable that could be said about you - a bit like "nice" is often used.)


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SaveFerris
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05 May 2019, 4:32 pm

IMO It means the guy likes you ( on what level I don't know ) but finds you confusing for whatever reason.

Basically it's negative comment. He is pointing out a flaw.

That's the best I can do without knowing context.


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05 May 2019, 4:41 pm

I don't think the word "sweet" is bad, he's being polite. He doesn't want to criticise completely, so he's softening what he really wants to say, which is that you are confusing to him.

I don't know what he means by confusing. Only he can say.



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05 May 2019, 4:44 pm

No being viewed as sweet is not bad in most cases. Being viewed as confusing can be. It's the "but" that is the tell tale sign here. Two interpretations:

1) He's not into you and wants to throw in a complement to soften the blow.

2) He is into you, but has conflicted feelings and is straight up being honest with the statement you are sweet and confusing.

Either way being labelled sweet is a complement, although it may be a complement used to soften a rejection.


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sly279
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05 May 2019, 4:58 pm

Usually means they see you as a puppy, cute kid, etc not romantically.


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blackicmenace
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05 May 2019, 5:07 pm

Perhaps he means you are nice, but you don't know what you want? Has he mentioned mixed signals?


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Dan82
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05 May 2019, 6:24 pm

sly279 wrote:
Usually means they see you as a puppy, cute kid, etc not romantically.


I think this is more common when applied to guys.



TwilightPrincess
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05 May 2019, 9:13 pm

In person, I’m usually described as “sweet.”

I think it’s a good thing although I think it could suggest that I’m a little boring. I probably seem boring because I’m usually very shy and quiet until I know someone really well.


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07 May 2019, 7:01 am

Depends. Sweetness is one of the qualities I most prize in a woman. Genuinely kind souls are extremely rare and melt my heart.

Sounds to me like he likes you but can't tell if you're interested or not. The only times I've ever described a woman as confusing is if I'm into her and feel like she's sending me mixed signals.



The_Face_of_Boo
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07 May 2019, 8:02 am

Is he the same guy who rushed away to the door like a little boy scared of cooties when you asked him out?



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07 May 2019, 9:51 am

In RL people say I’m sweet. :lmao: :lmao:


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BenderRodriguez
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07 May 2019, 10:23 am

What he meant is entirely down to circumstances.

sly279 wrote:
Usually means they see you as a puppy, cute kid, etc not romantically.

This is usually the case.

Sabreclaw wrote:
Sweetness is one of the qualities I most prize in a woman. Genuinely kind souls are extremely rare and melt my heart.

Same here, but unfortunately a lot of people (wrongly) associate kindness with stupidity and weakness, so "sweet", "nice" etc are often used in a condescending or derogatory way.


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1stSauce
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07 May 2019, 10:27 am

I think it's rather flattering