Forcing Myself to Remain Alive

Post Reply New Topic

rudeness is partially why i dont post much anymore

To the OP , you have already met Fnord & Bea , don't leave the forum because of them , we are all different here.

You can ask a poster not to post but it is not against rules for them to keep posting as long as their posts are within forum rules.

In the Haven however it's different and if someone is upsetting you , you can ask a moderator to deal with them


@vermontsavant this is very sad news to here.

Since I continued to get emails about this thread (probably why we always come back), I wanted to state for the record that my requests to people were in no way intended to suggest the use of force against others. I do not condone forcible external censorship or manipulation. What I was attempting to act out was a request; upon witnessing it be ignored, using my experience of the events to inform my decision of whether or not I wanted to continue interacting with someone, therefore leading to a secondary request which was also in no way intended to suggest the use of force. While the subject of the thread includes the word force, I was using the term initially to describe an attempt to behave in ways that I think are wrong, myself.

I should not expect other people to have motivation or capacity to relate my words to values or world-narratives that are relevant to my experience in the world. For this, and the misunderstanding, I apologize. Now that I've apologized, and as there is no real consequence to anything happening on this forum, or in the world, for me, I guess I may as well be part of more misunderstanding (that's what writing this is, right?)

Well I hope you stick around, don't leave on account of fnord...he's difficult, but over time I have appreciated some posts he makes I mean its an autism forum so we're all different and deal with our autism differently. I may get on with some members better than others and that's ok.

As for your initial post the buying up land to conserve sounds like a cool idea, it may be possible to save up and do that. The food forest with no transactions and community may be much harder to get started though...that also sounds like a cool idea but it would take a lot of planning and may be hard to do yourself. I mean I understand there are problems in the appalachia with development and habitat destruction so buying some land with the purpose of conserving it would be a good thing.

If you are in a city now, you'd have to find a job you can stay with long enough to put some money back, I mean you just kind of have to push through it. I myself would very much like to get out of the city, I didn't live in cities growing up just since adulthood and I really don't like it. But its the only choice right now...me and my boyfriend have jobs here and its too expensive to just uproot and move without a plan or a chunk of money saved for that purpose. We are thinking maybe of going to alaska but we'd need to save up and also likely try and find jobs out there before we go so if we did it would be a few years down the road.

I mean if you're serious about it, you would probably have to work and save for a while but also its possible you could start a gofundme or something to raise money to buy land to conserve, but you would really have to advocate to your cause and use the money specifically for that. I also don't know what experience you have in that kind of thing, if you don't have any it could be difficult to actually set it up and manage it. So not really sure how you would go about it per say, but seems like a good idea to work towards.

Everyone has a right to a dream. Sometimes dreams can motivate individuals. They can become a focus and if you make it strong enough, willing to go to great lengths to make it happen, then thy can become reality. But you have to build a rock solid focus and never give up.

In 1978, I purchased 35 acres of land in the back hills of Indiana. The land was covered in woods and had a creek that went through the property. I think I paid $13,000 for the land. Then my wife and I built our own home on the land.

Before I began, I read a good book titled "From the Ground Up" by John Cole and Charles Wing. It was published in 1976 so you will probably not be able to get your hands on a copy. But I would highly recommend this book. It is a good start.

I think his idea is a good one. Actually a very good one. But how to get there is the difficult task.

What if you could still buy 35 acres of land for $13,000. ha.

I'm not going to devote any significant number of years of my life to playing an idiotic market game based on relying on trade which is itself so undeveloped that it makes me have trouble believing other people besides me are conscious. I know that using money is not beneficial to anyone and that participating in civilization in any way is unhealthy.
It is unfortunate that we are trapped here in this delusion prison created by our ancestors' misunderstandings.
I recently realized with the help of some mushrooms that it is largely my fear of being myself which is keeping me from finding other people who want to live without transactional relationships and in continuous support of increasing interconnected biological diversity and hydrological dispersion through the landscape. Unfortunately, all of my previous attempts to desensitize myself to self-expression with an audience have only lead to further paralysis. I'm surely just going to be wasting time waiting for this all to end.

I don't know why you would think I wouldn't help other people to achieve their dreams, especially if they are dreams that I support... In fact, I usually help people with what they ask of me even if it is something I do not think I should do, because I don't really feel like I can say no. You seem to be thinking that I am expecting other people to give me the opportunity to create the kind of life I want, when I am actually struggling because the opportunity I would have WITHOUT ANYONE'S HELP has been taken away by other people who have modified the environment into a prison. If you think I'm trolling, then I would recommend spending your time and attention on something else as you probably won't understand what I'm talking about here and likely will get frustrated by it.

Is there anyone who has sufficient land who can let you try your ideas out to see if it a success? Someone with similar goals? Is just an idea and it might work. You could try putting the word out... Even if you only manage to buy half an acre, you could still do a little. It is quite an idea and an adventure. Gives a sense of freedom...
Could you form a group of people where you all have the same goals so can all hepl each other to make it work? It does not need to be a large group... The basic idea is the more support you get in people power, the more likely the project may succeed, and the more workers there will be to enable the concept to get off the ground.