Should I end this friendship?

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Hello, I'm new here. A bit about myself: I'm 27 and was diagnosed with Asperger's at 8 years old. My main symptoms are sensory issues, social anxiety and tendency to get overwhelmed easily.

Getting to the point of this post (trigger warning for sex mention)...a little over a year ago my friend introduced me to a guy who she thought would be the "perfect boyfriend" for me. I thought "what have I got to lose?" and agreed to at least meet him. He is autistic and needs a lot of help with daily living. We became friends and I help him with shopping here and there, but I didn't feel a romantic connection. I was cool with hanging out at first (going shopping, meeting him and his mom for lunch, etc) but he has a crush on me and it's been making me uncomfortable for quite some time. He has a belly button fetish and says he wants to kiss my belly button, and asks me to send pictures of it through text, to which I say no. He even made advances toward me when I was seeing someone else. I'm currently single but I did tell him I just wanted to be friends; a couple months ago I sent a text saying "I'm not in a good place for a relationship right now, plus you and I are better as friends. Sorry, I don't want to hurt your feelings but that's the way it's going to be. We can still be friends but I'm going to do what I want." (my exact words) The next day he sent a message asking me if I wanted to go shopping for tights because he wanted to see me in them, to which I didn't respond because I wasn't sure what to say next. It was pretty clear he didn't understand my previous message, or just disregarded it, so I didn't know quite how to handle it. Lately he's been wanting to have sex because "friends can have sex too", but I've explained to him that we're not that kind of friends, and fortunately he hasn't asked since then. He still keeps asking me to kiss him and I keep saying no. He can at least take "no" for an answer at first, but he always asks again later. At times he comes off as a bit selfish, like expecting me to leave my family on holidays to go hang out with him, or drive him to like 5 different stores (traffic makes me nervous, plus I have to drive 30 mins to get to his house), but he probably doesn't realize it so I can forgive that.

Anyway, I'm considering ending the friendship since it seems to be too hard for him to just be friends and nothing more. I don't have anything against him, I just don't want to lead him on. Plus I realize it's probably not worth me being uncomfortable. Any advice is appreciated. Sorry for the lengthy post!

I think you should end that friendship.

He really can't take "no" for an answer, ultimately.

I would keep the friendship, though----but if he tries anything sexual again, I would just end it. Tell him, explicitly, that you don't want any romance with him--only friendship.

If he doesn't take the hint, then end the friendship.

You have set multiple boundaries yet he has failed to respect them. Unless he has problems understanding language, it sounds like he is manipulating you because you're clearly a kind person. This behaviour is not ok and should be punished by you ending your relationship, so he can have the opportunity to learn his lesson - that if he doesn't respect people's boundaries, he will end up pushing them out of his life and I'm sure he doesn't want that.
I'm sorry you've had to deal with this and it's not a nice thing to do to end a friendship, but tbh it doesn't sound like he's a very good friend. All the best to you both anyway.

I agree with tree and cockney. You've tried repeatedly to make it work with him and you've politely set boundaries which he isn't respecting. I know it's maybe gonna be hard on both of you but you have every right to move on if he's making you so uncomfortable. I've lost women friends in the past over much less than what he's done already. And tree's right maybe he'll learn to respect women from this. But that isn't your problem.

I'd let him know you are not even interested in friendship with him at this point, and ask him not to contact you again. Then block him from social, email, and phone.

If he still pursues you, that's stalking and it's illegal. I'd either call the police, or get a restraining order.

This has nothing to do with his being autistic, but it does have something to do with you being autistic. Specifically, this is going to bother you the longer it continues. You have a right to live in peace.

I think he is a little lonely and may feel vunerable. He latched onto you as he likes you. Is difficult in a way. Ieeally it would be nice for him to meet just the right lady for him. I fully understand when after dating you find that you don't feel the same way that he does. That is natural as not everyone finds they both feel like that.
I am not ideal for talking about dating as I have only really had two proper girlfriends and I was around 36 years old on my first date and both times the ladies asked me out! I did try asking girls out over the years and must have asked at least ten or fifteen during my lifetime. Maybe even twenty. While most ladies politely declined, one or two went way beyond that. One lady threatened to call the police... I was stunned and really puzzled. I thought to myself "Even if she changes her mind there is no way I want to go near her"....Haha. If I was Adam and she was Eve I would run to the opposite side of the earth!
My first girlfriend... We almost were married. I had a lucky escape....She seemed ideal on the surface but she hated men underneath and would date them to take revenge on the male population as she was raped as a young teenager.
The second one had a really kind heart and she was beautiful. She had asperges and her son had autism. However, you know when though you love her and really enjoy her friendship but there is something about it deep within you that she is not the right one for you? I can't explain it... Unfortunately I lost one of my best friends when I broke up with her. We only met a couple of times a year due to distance, but were regularly online and on the phone. I was heartbroken to let her go as I missed her so much as a friend. After I ended it I wanted to make sure she was ok as I was so worried. I actually then suggested someone who was on the same chatsite I used to see her on, and horray! They are married, but sadly both of them don't want to keep in touch. I have attempted via PM messages on the site I was on but none of them have replied. I did once meet with them and another mutural friend who arranged it so they could have a holiday and we did say a few words to each other, but I felt that I didn't want to spoil things between them so I kept my distance.

Anyway. That is now a few years ago. I am still single.... Haha. But not really in much of a position to date as a lady would have to pay for me as I have no income, and I feel guilty to do that.


Sorry. Talking far too much about everything else and not the origional subject.

Maybe try and find him other friends? It will diverge his mind into focusing on you too much? Just an idea. Not sure if it will work.

Thank you all for your advice. A bit of additional info, he seems to think of every age-appropriate female as a potential girlfriend, he just goes to more extremes with me because he sees me often. His mother is aware of the situation and she coaches him through limiting his behavior (understanding when I'm busy, not going overboard with messaging, etc). I've made up my mind to end it if he tries to initiate sex again or touches me without consent (he has done that once but it was just my thighs). Will keep y'all updated.

Short answer; YES ! !

Long answer; some people aren't capable of being JUST friends with someone they have a so called crush on due to troublesome desires. Back when I had crushes I was content with just being in their presence.

The "yes" answers are probably right. If there's any value in the friendship, a "friends or nothing" ultimatum is due. It sounds like you've already made things clear though, so friendship may not be reasonable. I feel sorry for both of you in this situation.