Asperger’s guys who want male friends but not female friends

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nick007
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15 Dec 2019, 10:08 pm

Fireblossom wrote:
Mapofsteel wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
Why do some people only want same gender friends? Can someone explain?

Well, to name one reason, girls and women have monthly menstrual periods that cause changes in their mood, feelings, and personalities, and they can’t even be open about them with their male friends. So boys and men never know when there could be a girl on her period and we have to walk on eggshells because of this causing issues and us having no way to tell.


Eer no, that's not how it works, not in general. Yes, some women are affected that way, but not all. Some get terrible physical pains during their period, but it doesn't affect them mentally. Some don't have any differences aside from having to go to the bathroom more often.

Besides, with that logic you could never get in to a relationship with a woman either.
Both my exes & current girlfriend were like that. I'd usually figure out my current girlfriend was PMSing before she realized she was. Her periods were also very irregular for her which is parlty why she didn't realize it was that time. Thankfully she got a birth-control implant that stops em from happening. My girlfriend is very moody anyways usually & PMSing just made it worse. However when I interacted with women at work or skewl regularly, I could never tell they were PMSing. I think my exes & current girlfriend are in the minority with that or that PMS doesn't show for women till someone is in a romantic relationship with them.


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Sweetleaf
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16 Dec 2019, 1:18 am

Mapofsteel wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
Why do some people only want same gender friends? Can someone explain?

Well, to name one reason, girls and women have monthly menstrual periods that cause changes in their mood, feelings, and personalities, and they can’t even be open about them with their male friends. So boys and men never know when there could be a girl on her period and we have to walk on eggshells because of this causing issues and us having no way to tell.


Idk about that, maybe for some but I have certainly observed females mentioning to male friend they are on their period and in my own life I usually tell my boyfriend when I am having mine...I mean yeah we are a couple so we have sex so that is part of why I mention it but also to let him know that I may get kinda moody and that's why. I don't always get mood changes with my period but I have though anymore its mostly just cramping that hurts and being in pain is frustrating so I feel that is more the reason I get moody than the period itself.

That said though even if they don't tell you, if your female friend or girlfriend is acting a little off then well I don't in my mind think it is offensive if a guy figures a woman is on her period and you know is aware and tries not to aggravate them...like I don't think you would have to totally walk on egg shells all the time, just if they seem like period moody then try to be kind and avoid super smart-assy coments.

I mean we don't necessarily become crazy cave monsters with no reasoning at all on our periods. Like in my experience you might have a moment like that before you kinda calm down but then you can figure it out and move on. But I mean think of it this way...you have a painful injury and you're trying to just get on with life, periods are natural and not an injury but they feel a lot like it.
But like wouldn't you get frustrated if say you had a sore on your finger that keeps bleeding and it hurts but no one notices and just acts and talks to you like your perfectly fine and you kind of fake it because you're aware that they just don't really understand the pain you have while trying to just get on with normal things. LIke that is kind of how a period is it can be painful and super annoying but us girls have to you know deal with that while just getting on with normal things so it can put a little more stress mentally. So yeah it can cause some crabbiness but doesn't mean one has to be on eggshells to ever interact with a female.


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Sweetleaf
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16 Dec 2019, 1:25 am

Mapofsteel wrote:
I wanted to know how many other straight cisgender guys besides me there are on the spectrum who only want other straight cisgender guys as their friends?


Also you are limiting yourself with that...I mean friends can come in all shapes and sizes, and as someone who doesn't really have any friends, certainly does not seem useful to try to limit friends to such a specific type of person. Like I mean what if you made a friend and it turns out they are a gay male...like why would that be a dealbreaker? Just seem limiting to only want straight male friends and not being open to friends outside that box.


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22 Dec 2019, 10:19 am

I'm not a straight cisgender guy, and my friends are not all straight cisgender guys, but sometimes it seems to me that people who are not straight cisgender guys are... more complicated, and easier to hurt, or at least easier for *me* to hurt. Although that may be my bias.


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