Elopement
21 May 2019, 7:42 am
Hello,
I just wanted to ask parents out there if they have had any success with elopement. My son is 6, mostly nonverbal and has had a big issue darting and trying to run away. We have had top professionals and no one has been able to answer it. He will hold our hand on the street and then try to get loose and run. He is obsessed with doors and has ran to neighbors houses and tries to open them. Please let me know if you have any ideas.
Thanks
21 May 2019, 8:33 am
'Round these parts, "Elopement" means "to run away secretly with the intention of getting married usually without parental consent". Is your 6-year old child intent on getting married, or are you just using the term as a fanciful way of saying "Escape and run away"?
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21 May 2019, 8:56 am
I just wanted to ask parents out there if they have had any success with elopement. My son is 6, mostly nonverbal and has had a big issue darting and trying to run away. We have had top professionals and no one has been able to answer it. He will hold our hand on the street and then try to get loose and run. He is obsessed with doors and has ran to neighbors houses and tries to open them. Please let me know if you have any ideas.
Thanks
Some service dogs are trained to help kids who struggle with this.
My son and nephew have had this problem to a certain degree but probably not this bad. It’s really tough because you feel like you have to constantly be on your toes to make sure they don’t run off and get hurt.
I’d probably try to avoid walks for now if I was you. Try taking him to enclosed parks instead where he can freely run around. If he tries to leave your house when your back is turned, install locks on the door where he can’t reach.
Do you have any behavioral supports in place? You should probably look into getting a behavioral specialist who can be around when these problem behaviors occur and help you deal with them more effectively. Play therapists can give you lots of valuable advice, too.
Some parents say that ADHD medications can help with the impulsivity you are describing.
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Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. – Satan and TwilightPrincess
21 May 2019, 9:11 am
As an autistic person who still elopes occasionally as an adult when I'm overwhelmed, I would say that the first thing to recognise is that elopement is often about seeking safety and/or familiarity. So, although the interest in doors is certainly a personal fascination, being drawn to that fascination so strongly may often be an attempt to settle a mind which is overwhelmed by something else - a kind of mental sanctuary, so to speak. So the first thing I'd ask is whether this behaviour occurs more often in some situations than others; for example, when in a noisy environment, when there are lots of strangers milling around, when the situation is an unfamiliar one, etc. The fascination with doors may be related, in that he associates "going inside" with safety and familiarity, not recognising that what's on the other side of the door may not be what he expects (I was always fond of getting into cupboards, behind furniture, etc. as a child, presumably for similar reasons.)
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21 May 2019, 9:17 am
The title of this thread was a bit strange.
Generally "elopement" is a word used to describe "a marriage conducted in sudden and secretive fashion, usually involving a hurried flight away from one's place of residence together with one's beloved with the intention of getting married."
But you are using the word from a literal perspective which means "to run away and to not come back to the point of origin".
So some individuals will leave home and not return. Sleep walking children will do this. Normally their parents will install door locks high on their doors to prevent them from being able to leave the house in a trance.
Some old individuals with Alzheimer's will leave home and forget their way back home. Some autistic children will also do the same. So I would use technology to make sure I could always find them. Generally a tracking device built into a watch comes to mind.
So here are some links:
Every Special Child Deserves AngelSense
2019 Best Wearable GPS Trackers for Kids Buyers Guide
Best GPS Trackers for Kids 2019
11 Best GPS Watches for Kids to Safeguard Their Movement
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21 May 2019, 10:03 am
Elopement is a medical term that has been used in school by teachers and clinicians. It means running away.
21 May 2019, 10:10 am
I just wanted to ask parents out there if they have had any success with elopement. My son is 6, mostly nonverbal and has had a big issue darting and trying to run away. We have had top professionals and no one has been able to answer it. He will hold our hand on the street and then try to get loose and run. He is obsessed with doors and has ran to neighbors houses and tries to open them. Please let me know if you have any ideas.
Thanks
Some service dogs are trained to help kids who struggle with this.
My son and nephew have had this problem to a certain degree but probably not this bad. It’s really tough because you feel like you have to constantly be on your toes to make sure they don’t run off and get hurt.
I’d probably try to avoid walks for now if I was you. Try taking him to enclosed parks instead where he can freely run around. If he tries to leave your house when your back is turned, install locks on the door where he can’t reach.
Do you have any behavioral supports in place? You should probably look into getting a behavioral specialist who can be around when these problem behaviors occur and help you deal with them more effectively. Play therapists can give you lots of valuable advice, too.
Some parents say that ADHD medications can help with the impulsivity you are describing.
Thanks for the sound advice. He is in a full time aba program with one to one support. We also have home therapy as well as speech therapy in addition to school. Also my wife is home with him 24/7. At home we have locks on all exits including windows as well as an alarm system. His teachers, and even the top behavior therapists are stumped at this point. They actually suggested a therapy dog but with a baby on the way this is not possible right now. Even enclosed playgrounds are a challenge at this point because if someone doesn’t lock a gate he dashes for it. He is also getting to the point where he will be able to climb the wire fence. We’ve tried adhd meds but he got miserable and became aggressive and hit people. He would also break down crying for no reason. We took him off the meds but right now he is so hyper he is bouncing off the walls literally.
21 May 2019, 10:20 am
I just wanted to ask parents out there if they have had any success with elopement. My son is 6, mostly nonverbal and has had a big issue darting and trying to run away. We have had top professionals and no one has been able to answer it. He will hold our hand on the street and then try to get loose and run. He is obsessed with doors and has ran to neighbors houses and tries to open them. Please let me know if you have any ideas.
Thanks
Some service dogs are trained to help kids who struggle with this.
My son and nephew have had this problem to a certain degree but probably not this bad. It’s really tough because you feel like you have to constantly be on your toes to make sure they don’t run off and get hurt.
I’d probably try to avoid walks for now if I was you. Try taking him to enclosed parks instead where he can freely run around. If he tries to leave your house when your back is turned, install locks on the door where he can’t reach.
Do you have any behavioral supports in place? You should probably look into getting a behavioral specialist who can be around when these problem behaviors occur and help you deal with them more effectively. Play therapists can give you lots of valuable advice, too.
Some parents say that ADHD medications can help with the impulsivity you are describing.
Thanks for the sound advice. He is in a full time abs program with one to one support. We also have home therapy as well as speech therapy in addition to school. Also my wife is home with him 24/7. At home we have locks on all exits including windows as well as an alarm system. His teachers, and even the top behavior therapists are stumped at this point. They actually suggested a therapy dog but with a baby on the way this is not possible right now. Even enclosed playgrounds are a challenge at this point because if someone doesn’t lock a gate he dashes for it. He is also getting to the point where he will be able to climb the wire fence.
That sounds really stressful, especially with a new baby on the way!
I’ve stood at the gate of enclosed playgrounds to make sure our kids didn’t get through, but it’s tough when they get to the point where they can climb.
He still really needs to blow off some energy.
He’s probably too young for an enclosed, cushioned trampoline. That can keep some sensory-seeking kids busy for hours. Speaking of sensory-seeking, have you ever tried a sensory bin? I have a big tub of rice that my kid likes to play in that calms him, especially when he can bury his arms or hands deep in it. I also have soft things, peppermint tea bags to smell, and cold, smooth rocks (when he’s not too out of control). Some people have sand pits outside that can be really great in nice weather.
The running could have something to do with needing more sensory input.
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Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. – Satan and TwilightPrincess
21 May 2019, 10:22 am
For my son it’s a yearning to find out to see what’s there. He is curious and he wants to be in control. He can control a door and see what’s next. Last week he saw people climb into our pull down attic staircase. Today he took a chair from the first floor and brought it up the staircase and climbed and tried to open the attic. He wants to see everything because he is so limited due to lack of language. So I get why. But what he doesn’t see and understand that there is no floorboard I the attic and he can fall through up there and get hurt. He doesn’t understand that he can get hit by a car if he loses my grip or get lost in a crowd. As a parent it often becomes a case of life and death. If I lose my grip he can get hurt. Yet we refuse to lock him in 4 walls he is already limited so we like to have him see the world. We’ve flown with him and have taken him on a cruise though now it’s getting harder.
