No speech delay but not good at holding conversations?

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I wonder how much that is applicable to people here? As a child I was prone to stammering , but had virtually grown out of it by my teens. I have no problems physically talking , but given people quite often mishear what I say it's possible I don't always speak clearly.


My real problem though is initiating conversation , and knowing when to continue listening or to say my bit. I'm also not the best at sustaining a conversation , if it's not something I'm interested in.

The back and forth of conversation IRT doesn't always come easily to me.

You can be the most verbally eloquent person that people knew, and still not good at conversing. You can be as awkward, stiff, out of place, etc.

Those are still two different things, even if both involves the use of languages.



In my case;
I don't have speech delay -- possibly just a reason why I pass off as an aspie merely because I'm physically capable. I have no speech issues.
I have no stuttering, I had no issues with pronunciations, I had no hearing problems, I don't have any form of mutism. I don't have issues with tones most at the time.
Just because I like physically saying and the sounds of the words, or sing over and over like a stim, that doesn't mean the same with the words and context themselves nor even the notion of social conversation.
Somewhat I do struggle a bit with volume control when my emotions are a bit on the prioritized side. And then there's expressing, monitoring, controlling, etc.

None of these made usage of spoken language more natural. It didn't gave me better wording.
To me it's more of a weight that I have to constantly afford whenever any possible communication could happen, all because everyone assumes that I could therefore should. And I don't like scripting.

Speech without issues only gives one factor, a factor that rules out the issues of being capable of physical speech and that's just it.
That only likely factors like, say, confidence that not getting make fun of or get others infuriated for sounding funny or weird, than language skills itself.
It's like not having minus points for having something undesirable about your physical capacity of speaking, a less thing to get worried or be insecured about. The rest is just in the individual.

For me that's just all it -- part of validation, a grand accessory for passing, and a grand convenience.


Language usage doesn't grant knowing the whens of initiating, reply, and end of conversation.
Worse, this is also partially EF, as is it seem all social skills are. My emotional and social maturity weighs more with that than just the capacity of speech and 'right' wordings alone.

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I apparently talk too loud,especially when stressed. That is a little strange because also sometimes people ask me to repeat what I've said as though I've spoken too quietly .

I'd would say that it's probably applicable to quite a lot of people here. Plenty of those who identify as Asperger's or equivalent report difficulties with social interaction, yet the absence of functional language delay is what distinguishes it from other manifestations of autism (even the ICD-11, which will deprecate the AS diagnosis, still recognises this distinction.)

Thanks for your replies. I got a 3 on the social communication part of the ADOS -2 which meets the level for autism , but didn't meet the autism level for social interaction .

I have a good vocabulary and knowledge base but, when I'm stressed out or haven't slept well, nothing remotely coherent comes out of my mouth. It makes me feel so dumb.

I was asking questions of my aunt about my early childhood behavior, and she mentioned that I was verbose and had a large vocabulary. She didn't know when exactly I started speaking, but she didn't think it was delayed. I've always been more articulate than those my own age.

Nevertheless, I've gotten comments like "You're mumbling. Speak up! Slow down" fairly consistently. I get frustrated at about the 3rd "say that again..." although I myself struggle with understanding the speech of others fluidly at times (how great would it be if everyone had subtitles floating around them when they spoke?)

I have been awful at two-way and group conversation most of my life, although I improved within the last few years as I grew a better understanding of the expectations in those situations. I had issues ranging from dominating the conversation, being too quiet, and struggling to know what to say or how to react. I still have these problems, but I have a greater empathetic toolset to adapt with than I used to.