I've always wondered if I had a chance...

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Now, I never been in a relationship before, yet I've come close one or twice, but she wasn't interested in me and another time, I wasn't interested in her.

However, I sometimes wonder if I stand a chance against NT people, even though I see relationships of all kinds. I also struggle with confidence at times & how to actually "make it happen". Furthermore, I'm not into hookups or anything, yet I have friends who are both guys & girls.

Overall, I know that I can do it. But, it may take some time for me to understand how I can develop one on my own. Even though I'd benefit from some help along the way, this process shouldn't be rushed.

you have a huge chance, way bigger than NTs and I can tell you that by personal experience.

When I observed NTs relationships, I saw how fast at reacting and speaking they were so I was very worried about this (as obviously, I need my time to react especially in social situations).

What I later find out, was that I was a huge knowledge machine.

I will explain myself better, everytime this girl had a problem, I had an answer for it. This is something most of us Asperger have, it is because problems for NTs at times can be very easily to solve for us and on the opposite some very hard problems for Aspergers can be easy to solve for NTs.

The way I managed to almost get engaged in a relationship (I lated decided I couldn't be in one due to the love I have in personal freedom) was because I literally could answer to any questions that this girl had, solve her problems, be helpful in any occasion and speak about literally every topic.

I know this might sound confusing, but in my personal experience it worked very fine. I became the leader in that particular setting and people would come to me to solve their problems, so getting a girlfriend at that point became very easy. They would come to me and ask me things

But why don’t you have a chance?

I’m short, fat (sometimes), nerdy, Aspie, say inappropriate things....yet I’ve had quite a few relationships (and some loneliness, too).

All things come to those who wait...

I feel I had way more of a chance when I had abs you could see through my shirt. I try to exercise but God damn.

I’ve never had those kind of abs. I’ve been with at least 30 women.

I had one boyfriend with an 8 pack, but I didn’t know he had abs like that until after we’d been dating awhile.

Unless you enjoy working out, I don’t think it’s worth the effort. Most women don’t care that much about it.

I dunno, women were interested in me and I engaged in some pretty insane nonsense. Also no women are interested in me now and I'm fat but I basically have things worked out. Of course I'm older, too, so maybe it was just life in my 20's. But my perception is that they were physically attracted to me, so the overlooked a lot of the other stuff.

I empathize with OP on this. I'm 23 and have had no luck in the dating/relationship realm so far either. It's a little depressing when all of your autistic friends are or have been in relationships and you are single and lonely...

8 packs? that’s a brioche.

Most people won’t date fat people. Fat =loser= no date.

Last edited by sly279 on 27 May 2019, 3:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The majority of Americans are overweight or obese.

My area isn’t . I’d say 90% of women here are thin.
Anyways I’ve seen women bigger then me demand a thin guy , they won’t date fat guys. “Must be thin and athletic” but they are as big as me or 3 times bigger then me.
I’m chubby thanks to being 6’4”. Still too fat for most women in my area.

Fact is most peoples dream March is thin, neither men or women fantasize about fat men and women, fat women and men are barely represented in porn, modeling, acting.
When they are in acting they always made fun of and pathetic losers, while thin people are pretreated as wonderful successful people.

Two guys you like want to date you, ones fit and thin, other is fat . Which would you choose?

I might not want to choose either of them. Just because they want to date me, doesn't mean I have to pick. If I did feel compelled to choose, I would choose the person I was more compatible with. I have no problem with big guys or overweight guys. In fact, I prefer it ... although I wouldn't choose a partner based on size alone.

Neither if that’s all I know about them.

I like nice guys.

I know from experience that a guy that’s considered to be a “heartthrob” is not necessarily going to be a nice guy.

They theory is they are both equally compatible ie the on,y difference is their sizes.
I’d pick a thin woman.