“Go see a therapist”
"Talking" therapy doesn't really do much for me, but, when I suggest such, it because it's like I see a wound gushing blood and I feel the need to at least TRY to stop the bleeding.
Going to a therapist is preferable to marinating in self-pity.
_________________
"If we fail to anticipate the unforeseen or expect the unexpected in a universe of infinite possibilities, we may find ourselves at the mercy of anyone or anything that cannot be programmed, categorized or easily referenced."
-XFG (no longer a moderator)
I genuinely don't believe that all people can or will find love. There are too many variables. I believe in making the best of your situation and getting help to find happiness in that.
What if the negative thinking is a direct result of not being able to get a girlfriend, or experience romance at all, and it will continue to reinforce itself while this is the reality? What if it can't truly go away until the person in question at least feels as though it's possible for them to get a relationship, based on positive experiences they've had? A therapist only has minimal utility in that regard in comparison to something like self-improvement to be more attractive to women.
The same way that not everybody will be able to get a relationship, not everybody who can't get one will be able to come to terms with that, and some would prefer to not live at all than be confined to an existence without any prospect of ever being romantically involved with someone, the same way some people would prefer to be euthanized if they had to have their legs amputated. In either case, there could still be some good aspects in their lives in spite of these problems, but not enough to be worth it for everyone.
But you've got to. I've had to. No one wants me. I'm 37. Never had a boyfriend. I'm just too annoying or too ugly or something. Who knows.
But why the hell should I let that stop me from being happy? I'm over it. I've had enough of it.
I've actually got some friends now which makes a huge difference. I'm not as lonely.
I don't need a man any more. They've done nothing, but hurt me. It's time to be happy and free. Not tied to this stupid illusion that love can be anything for me.
This "need" is holding you back from living a good full life. Don't let it!
It's a positive feedback loop: you can't get romance -> you get depressed -> you perform poorly socially -> the opposite sex avoids you -> you can't get romance.
Finding the weakest link in this chain is the way to break it.
_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.
<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>
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