Dating and Prosoprognosia Don't Always Mix.

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Mountain Goat
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04 Jun 2019, 10:29 am

I was 17... Oh gosh... I fancied a girl in college. But I was shy... Too shy. I wrote a letter and someone helped pass it on. I had a reply. "Meet me outside the tech gates at 400pm".
Quite nervous, it took forever for lessons to be over. Then finally... During lessons another classmate kept saying to me "She won't be there"... (I found out later he just said that as he fancied her). I went to look for her. It was a little damp outside. It was early winter or late autumn if I recall. There was a primary school next door to part of the technical college. Often the mums would be waiting to collect their kids. So when I reached the gates and saw a lady standing there sheltering herself under an umbrella, I didn't pay much attention. She didn't make any moves towards me so it was one of the mothers. Most if the mother's had collected their children. She remained. I had now waited about fifteen minutes. Then I had a thought. " Oh no... The tech has more gates!" Quickly I went to the other side of the college and unlocked my bicycle. I found there were five sets of gates, so I cycled between them, going back and fore. After about half an hour of doing this, I abandoned the wait. My friend was right. She didn't turn up.
So, disappointed, I cycled home. It was dark going home. Good job I had lights. Was about an hours ride or an hour and a half depending on how energetic I felt as the last two miles home are all hill climbing... With one part being 1in 4. If tired I did this climb in stages and sometimes stopped two or three times for a break.
The next day when I went in for lessons, the girls friend wanted to see me. She was really annoyed. "Why did you set her up?" I was asked. I couldn't say anything. I tried but couldn't. I decided to send a note but it came back... I realised I must have upset her so much. I spent the next few weeks doing my best to avoid her in case her seeing me would upset her feelings.
That event of prosoprognosia really effected me. I rarely ever asked girls out... The few times it was a no. And if a girl asked me I would ever so kindly say no, as I was sceared. I didn't want to upset any girls.

I was 36 when I finally started dating. She asked me and was a fairly forward character. (I won't bore you with details but though we dated for many months and were planning marriage without warning it stopped. I was dating a narcist. I didn't know back then and twice nearly committed suicide. It hadn't occurred to me she had been dating others... So I had a close shave there when I did finally date a girl!)
But the first girl who I fancied at 17... About four years I was with one of my little nephews in the next village near the shops and there she was. I smiled. She saw my nephew and must have assumed he was my child. We smiled back and that was that. I felt guilty as a few years before I was having a weird mental episode where my mind was really stressed as I was reliving my past, and I wrote to her without putting my name... I had to write to explain to get it off my chest... And after I sent the letter I felt relief. But I wasn't too sure it was her address. And of course, I didn't hear back. But when I get these episodes where my mind does that... Goes so compressed inside adi relive the past... I am now very very careful that I don't do something stupid! I would hate to hurt anyone's feelings. Fortunately I have only had these maybe once every few years. The last one was actually about a week ago. Very rare for me. And no. I didn't do anything stupid this time... :D

But going back to prosoprognosia... I have lost so many people. It is not fun!


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kraftiekortie
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04 Jun 2019, 12:19 pm

I'm not great at recognizing faces----but I'm worse at remembering names!

At one point, on my first date with my future fiancée, I called her Joanne when her name was actually Pamela.



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04 Jun 2019, 12:34 pm

From the day I started to recognize my now-husband to the day I remembered his first name - four months of regular hanging out as friends.
I always tell it to people when apologizing for not remembering their names.


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04 Jun 2019, 12:39 pm

I have to always remember to not trust myself to know a face, and to rely on other things, anything that stands out about the person. And I've learned that it is best to explain these things before a situation happens.


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Mountain Goat
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04 Jun 2019, 4:30 pm

When I meet new people I tell them but I do think that only a few understand. I only get issues now and then... I may have said before about one instance I know of...
I was in my local town heading for the bank. I reached the street the bank was in. I saw a lady with a child. You know where you think you know someone but you can't think where from? The little boy was tugging his mums hand... Well. Just incase I do know them I said "Hello" (Which we sometimes do down here or just smile as we are a cheery lot in Wales) and the lady said "Hello" back and we both went our ways. I ten walked to the bank and aas puzzled. Where had I seen her before... I have seen her before... But where? Mind blank situation! Anyway. There was a long queue in the bank so while I was deep in thought trying to go through all the people I know in my head I eventually found out who they are. I was so, so embarissed. I rushed out the bank and ran back to meet them. They were my mother and my little brother (Who is 18 years younger then me and is now an adult). My Mum gets faceblindness as well so what I did to her she did to me... Both if us thinking "I know them from somewhere!"
I have been told off by aunts and cousins etc. I have had entire conversations with people who seemed to know me and I didn't have a clue who they were and still don't to this day. I have approached people convinced I know them when I found out I disn't. One aay to make new friends I guess! :lol: I have even failed at a couple of subjects in college as I thought one lecturer took a few subjects. About almost halfway into the course where I kept getting the homework wrong, one lecturer was visited by another in the class and I realized there had been two totally different people that I had assumed to be one person. The different sirnames should have rang a bell but I didn't twig. I think that was the start of many issues including bullying (Actually looking back the other boys were messing about but I thought they were serious... I seemed to have the whole class against me and nearly ran through an upstairs window to get away. I stood on the desk and was about to run from desk to desk as the classroom door was held shut... I was just about to and I hadnplanned in my mind to run through the window (Single pain window) and land in the top of a tall tree below. I hated heights but I was petrified! I think it was 15 or 20 kids against one of me. Then the lecturer opened the door and gave me a right telling off for standing on the desk. I didn't tell anyone what I was about to do! It was an upstairs classroom which was made in a type of bridge over a road below.


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Mountain Goat
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04 Jun 2019, 4:48 pm

Going back to the prosoprognosia issue and dating. I kinda feel that if I have a new girlfriend in the future... I am concerned incase I don't reconise her. If she obviously looks different then I should be ok. I know it sounds daft, but I really am concerned about this. I lost anothernpotential girlfriend because I disn't pick up on hints (I fancied her and I didn't know she fancied me untill after while chatting and asking "Why did she say..." She was beautiful, but I only knew who she was by her unusual accent. If she didn't speak I didn't know it was her. I think she would have to grab my had and not let go for it to habe worked, HAHA, Well. As her face was so difficult for me to remember. I totally lost her! That was a girl I met a few times while I worked the trains. Maybe it would not have worked... I can imagine it... Being married to a lady I could lose. Those where's Wally books my brother used to have used to petrify me!


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madbutnotmad
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04 Jun 2019, 5:20 pm

Yes, I have a problem with recognising people a lot of the time.
Some times i think normal people are someone famous, and every now and then

i meet people who are famous who i don't recognise (but it is hard to keep up,
i mean, so many people are famous now, not always for the right reasons).

Not that i put too much value on fame or fortune myself.
As such things to me are lesser value than being in my opinion a good person.
In fact, super wealthy and famous living it large in their elite bubble clique in a world full
of poverty and suffering disgust me. But sure, that is perhaps my issues.



IstominFan
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05 Jun 2019, 9:38 am

Sometimes when I see people I know in unfamiliar surroundings, I can get confused as to who they are. It will come to me later on, but it's embarrassing when it happens. If I do have prosopagnosia, it's on the mild side. Some people have it to such a severe degree that faces are a complete blur.



Fireblossom
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05 Jun 2019, 1:14 pm

I have prosopagnosia too, a really bad one at that; I have trouble even with regocnizing my family members.

Before my first "date" I told the guy with a message that I have prosopagnosia and gave a short explanation about it, just in case. He took it well enough, but later I realized I might not have had to told him about it so eary since he walked past me in the train station even though there was no way he didn't notice a person there and we had to message each other in order to find each other... then again, we'd only briefly met three times before that, so maybe a majority of not faceblind people would've messed up...?



Mountain Goat
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06 Jun 2019, 5:28 pm

Do you find that because you may recognise people where you expect to see them that they don't believe you that you may not recognise them in places that you didn't expect to see them?


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Nydcat
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06 Jun 2019, 6:53 pm

I noticed that I have a hard time learning faces as opposed to recognising them.



Mountain Goat
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06 Jun 2019, 6:59 pm

I can learn a face but it takes a lot of time staring at the person, and I naturally avoid eye contact, and couldn't do it that well if in a conversation. Some people faces I can remember. Others I can't.
Many people I am looking at their spiritual faces on top of their physical faces which is probably why I don't always see what they physically look like.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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06 Jun 2019, 9:12 pm

Usually, I remember someone. They don't recognize me

But they deal with a lot of people. And I don't

Recognizing faces could be a good or bad thing

Sometimes I just want to, forget

:cry:



Fireblossom
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07 Jun 2019, 3:43 am

Mountain Goat wrote:
Do you find that because you may recognise people where you expect to see them that they don't believe you that you may not recognise them in places that you didn't expect to see them?


Me? A little yes, but I rarely run in to anyone other than my family members in very unexpected places.