Im Super Confused

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Sorry this is kinda just word vomit but Im confused and feeling just barely brave enough to ask (even if its pointless)

So I have a problem. I have absolutely no clue what the hell I identify as. Like, at all.
Im supposed to be straight.
However, one of my close friends is lesbian and she thinks I am too. Ive never actually had a crush on, or been that interested in dating any guys. But my friend and I really love to gush over hot girls together. All my favorite celebrities are female, and my fav OTPs are almost all lesbian couples. I feel like Im probably more attracted to girls. Plus I think if any of my friends knew how many hours I spend scrolling through videos of my celebrity crush on insta and gushing about how pretty they look, theyd totally think Im hella gay. But I dont want to date a girl, I dont think.
The problem is Ive now had sex with three girls and I felt absolutely nothing. I was on top all three times and I lied and said I was on my period so they couldnt reciprocate cause it felt so awkward (except the second time where I allowed her for like two minutes before making up some excuse to stop) I mean, I had no problem with doing it, but I didnt get anything out of it.
I do have some fav male celebrities. And yeah, I think theyre hot. So then I thought maybe I was bi. And ok I havent had sex with a guy yet but I did have to give one a handjob once, and I honestly found it disgusting. Ive only ever dated guys so Ive made out with a few, but Im not sure you can tell anything from just that. But even though Ive dated guys-and enjoyed it, one lasted 6 months-I was never interested in going all the way.
What bothers me, is that I feel like Im failing and I dont even know what Im failing at. If I like girls and boys does that make me bi? If I dont want to date a girl does that make me straight? If I dont want to have sex with a guy does that make me gay? If I couldnt have sex with a girl does that make me straight??
Im not actually sure if any of yall would have anything close to an answer for me, but I mean I thought Id give it a try anyway.

My suggestion is to first recall that all of these sexual orientation categories are human inventions that people have come up with in order to describe themselves within their own particular cultural context. They can be useful, but it sounds like they're not useful to you right now. So don't worry about the label right now.

Second, consider that romantic attraction is not always sexual attraction. It is possible to be attracted romantically to women without being attracted sexually.

Indeed, some people have very little to no sexual attraction or desire to engage in sexual activity. Sometimes this increases or decreases over time. Sometimes it doesn't. If you have no particular interest in sex, that's fine. Don't worry. If you have romantic interests but not sexual interest, that's fine too.

There ARE words that can be used to describe these feelings, but I think that could be premature to identify with one or the other. I think what's really important is to listen to your heart and your body, and trust where they lead you.

And perhaps abandon the idea that you're 'supposed' to be straight. We're all 'supposed' to be straight and cisgender, but clearly, the reality is far more expansive.

Deep breaths! It's okay to be in the place of not yet knowing!

Same here. Can't figure it out at all. Thinking about dating again to see if that changes anything, but so far pretty lost.

Hi Grace,

If you're not sexually attracted to either guys or girls, don't worry about it.

Just do what comes naturally---even if it's doing nothing sexually.

The only reason why I like to make out with girls......is because I dig girls. If I didn't dig girls, I wouldn't bother.

Sex is not the "be all, end all."

Your time will come. Maybe your body is telling you to concentrate on your studies, rather than on sex.

Keep in mind that experiences with one person don't define how you feel about the whole gender. I am demisexual and this sort of resonates with me, and you could be somewhere on the asexual spectrum, but its also possible that you just didn't "click" with these people. If you're not sexually attracted to the specific person, it's probably going to be awkward and gross.

Just assess how you feel one person at a time and take it at your own pace.

What if you're just nothing? Nothing doesn't mean no one, it just means neither. Can you imagine the amount of pressure that would be off of you? Another thought... What if you're one of those who will fall in love with a soul and you'll know it when you meet them, whoever they may be?

I think it's a good thing. But, I do realize that it may be stressful to you.