Coping with psychological trauma when you have pdd-nos

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Hi all, I'll try to keep this short.

For this past several months, on and off, my mind has been in a burning hell of traumization due to the horrible bullying and psychological manipulation I have endured over my life. My emotions are damaged and my brain honestly feels like it's on fire at times. I think may be suffering from some sort of complex trauma and I'm currently on the waiting list for EMDR, but it's gonna be a while another few months or so before it's my turn to get help. I'm sure if any of you here have suffered from psychological trauma, you know what I mean. And because you have a mild ASD I'm sure you all know what it's like to not be able to fight back properly/be vulnerable/the way you are wired. I have opened up to my mam about this and even though she cares and has listened, I still feel like she doesn't take me issue seriously as when I try to tell her I'm going through a lot she comes off as invalidating, even if she doesn't mean too. Kind of like there's a glass wall of miscommunication between me and the rest of the world, like no matter how hard I try to tell them or get my needs met it is futile, maybe you know the feeling. It's like no one cares.

I've tried doing TRE, with some great success, however if you "do it wrong" there is a significant risk of being re-traumatized which is perhaps the most awful this on this entire planet. I may need to find a practitioner but, unfortunately, I don't even know if TRE is a real thing in the UK, and I don't feel comfortable doing that in front of someone else, and I also have a hard time expressing what I'm going through to them.

So in this situation, what do you think I should do?

I hate what society has done to me, I can't even be around others anymore due to my emotional avoidance, because that can lead to re-traumization, nor can I even go out anymore because I have to deal with dickheads on the street looking at me funny/staring at me (they do don't say they don't), and occasionally laughing at me. I am alone and I cope alone.

Lots of people here have been through what you’ve been through, including me to some extent.

Are you attending university, or working?

^
No I'm not working now, still looking but to be fair my current state of mind/uneasiness around others has sort of put me off to be honest.

I know many people here have been through this, but like, have you ever felt, or gone through the same thing of feeling traumatized before? And how would you/would you feel safe seeking help even if you were desperate?

You know, you have PDD-NOS, you "can't express", bit crap when you have a debilitating problem but can't tell anyone around you exactly what's up with you.

I've been through a few traumas. I was bullied (probably moderately in an objective sense---but it felt pretty severe at the time it was occurring).

I was also robbed at knifepoint and stabbed once. I was lucky I had a support system.

I'm not all that great at expressing my feelings. I was nonverbal until I was 5 1/2 years old.

I'm not criticizing you for not having a job, by the way. I understand situations that people go through.

I was bullied and it still makes me uncomfortable to this day. I also find it hard to make friends because I no longer trust people. I think they will try and take advantage of me, as it has happened in the past. I keep an open mind incase I do find someone trust worthy. But it hasnt happened yet.