Alexithymia

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Can you have alexithymia but be pretty good at identifying emotions in others? I can usually tell if someone around me is sad, angry, etc, but I have a hard time identifying my emotions beyond "good" or "bad." I have to think about my situation like its a novel and think about what the author would say I am feeling if I were a character to get more specific than that for my therapist, if that makes sense.

I can relate to that. I was assessed with "significant" alexithymia in my ASD report but I can read others because I'm looking at their external behaviour rather than interpreting their internal feelings. With myself, I don't stand and look in a mirror to interpret how my body is acting so I'm not using the same clues. My emotions themselves blur in so many directions I can't interpret them, just like you.

Yes, I think that is possible. When working with my last therapist on my alexithymia, I found that I could read my own emotions better when she helped me to read my own behaviour and body sensations better. Not so much that I don't have the emotions, but that for some reason, my brain doesn't bring them to my conscious attention. Other people, I watch like a hawk, because I'm paranoid that I'll mess up if I read them wrongly. I still do get it wrong very often, but all the same, my attention is focused so much on them that I don't notice even the most obvious signs in myself like "butterflies in my tummy" from being nervous. It's has happened many times that people have worked out how I'm feeling before I do; so my outward behaviour can even show the emotion without me noticing it myself sometimes. Hence the therapist taught me to take a short time-out every once in a while to review my sensations to make sure I'm not missing anything.


Yes, it makes perfect sense. In fact, this was another of the techniques that my therapist encouraged me to use, and I find it very effective. Even before that, I often used to have "aha" moments when I worked out what emotion I was feeling because I happened to see or read about a fictional character experiencing them; even in cartoons meant for children - or maybe especially in those, as they're made for little people who's emotional intelligence is developing. Back when I was a regular TV watcher, it was embarrassing how often I'd burst into tears or get over-excited in the middle of a humdrum episode of the Simpsons because something had finally clicked into place.

That makes a ton of sense!! ! Never thought about how I don't look at my own face/body, like I can with others. That makes it make more sense that other people can figure out I am getting upset before I can.

Thanks! Good to know that I'm not the only one. Do you find it helpful to recognize your emotions more often/in more detail? I sometimes wonder what the point is...it seems like logic would still be a better basis for decision-making. For instance, if I am required to make a speech for my job, does it help to know how anxious/nervous/excited I am (or which feeling is dominant), since I still have to do it anyway? Or if I have to make dinner, does it matter to know whether I am dreading it emotionally vs. feeling physically tired? When I was diagnosed with depression, that was my main symptom that I identified. Tiredness...not all the things they talk about on depression medication advertisements.

My therapist is VERY into feelings, but I don't think she's ever explained all that well why. When I have asked, the explanations don't quite explain it well enough for me...I think because it's such an innate thing for most people? Maybe she hasn't had to explain it before?

When I sense I'm nervous, I call it "excited" instead. I think the emotions feel similarly, but I like putting a positive label wherever I can. I try to trick myself.

Just an example.

I think so, yes. Two reasons come to mind...

1) What I mentioned earlier about other people noticing my mood before I do. They're going to react to how I'm behaving even if I'm unaware of the behaviour myself, so it's helped me a bit with working out what's going on in social situations.

2) I have suffered from chronic anxiety and periods of severe depression all my adult life. These used to have to get incredibly bad before I'd notice them, making them much harder to recover from than if I'd seen the warning signs and acted sooner. In a similar way, the training in body awareness has helped me to notice more easily the signs that a melt-down or shut-down might be on their way.

Those are two very practical reasons! Thanks.