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TwilightPrincess
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17 Jun 2019, 10:48 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
It’s pretty stupid if you ask me.

These “social experiments” irritate me no end.

Just like that guy in the bar doing that stupid crap to try to get women to rub his body.

Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart would tell that camera guy to shove it. Audrey Hepburn, too.


These social experiments are implying that guys should imitate that behavior which wouldn’t work for most people.

Having a “magical” connection with a stranger and chatting in a public place like a park or coffee shop is a lot different than asking a bunch of random women on a date until someone says yes.

While I’ve never had a magical connection with a stranger, I think that theoretically it could happen. Since it’s unlikely, I think the best thing is to focus on making friendships with a diverse group of people and then, at some point, a friendship could grow into something else.


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AngelRho
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17 Jun 2019, 1:02 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
It’s pretty stupid if you ask me.

These “social experiments” irritate me no end.

Just like that guy in the bar doing that stupid crap to try to get women to rub his body.

Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart would tell that camera guy to shove it. Audrey Hepburn, too.


These social experiments are implying that guys should imitate that behavior which wouldn’t work for most people.

Having a “magical” connection with a stranger and chatting in a public place like a park or coffee shop is a lot different than asking a bunch of random women on a date until someone says yes.

While I’ve never had a magical connection with a stranger, I think that theoretically it could happen. Since it’s unlikely, I think the best thing is to focus on making friendships with a diverse group of people and then, at some point, a friendship could grow into something else.

:heart:



Magna
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17 Jun 2019, 10:46 pm

In the OP film his persistence pays off. Yes, he's rebuffed more often that not, but he succeeds in making some innocent and respectful connections with some women. No where did I see that he pestered any of the women that were not interested and declined a date with him.

Certainly there is nothing wrong with "being friends first". There is also nothing wrong, even if it's rare, for two people to strike up a conversation from a chance meeting and agree to meet again. Of course safety, meeting in public and not giving personal information is important, but that doesn't mean striking up a conversation with someone you've never met before should be met with offense or considered to be harassment.

When I was younger, I once dated a young woman who wasn't in my circle of friends. She was a stranger. She would frequent the coffeehouse I worked at and she was always with the same friend. I was absolutely smitten by her beauty as were all of my friends. We dated for the summer and I only knew her first name for nearly all of it. I was fine with that. We had a fabulous summer together. How did it start? I asked her out.

I know I'm a guy, but I didn't think the guy in the OP short film was creepy. He seemed respectful and even charming; but what do I know, I guess. I also thought the women in the short conveyed their wish to decline him well. I would certainly hope that none of them recounted the chance meeting with the man to their friends with contempt, derision or victimhood.

I saw a man who was willing to persist in the face of rejection and more importantly maintained manners, politeness and a positive attitude all the way through.

I would be too shy to take that approach, but I saw nothing wrong with it.



AngelRho
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18 Jun 2019, 9:33 am

I'm with you, Magna, I don't see anything really wrong with that approach.

I'm pretty sure the film is fake. I think it was meant to be entertaining, not "hey, guys, do this..." kind of social experiment. Also, the reactions from women were all over the place, all the way from, "Awww! I'm not going out with you, but that's so SWEET!" to "Ew, gross! Creeper/perv!" I do feel that much is very realistic. I can identify with that because of how many times I'd write a girl off "because boyfriend." There is another reality even to that, which is something I've mentioned quite a few times in other threads. The short version is "because boyfriend" can mean different things, and it's never worth it to simply wait for a relationship to be over to pursue a relationship with someone. It's never quite that simple. Some of those girls in the film were ambiguous about how they indicated being in a relationship, as though there are degrees of what a relationship is. If this had been a real situation and it was the third time or so meeting these same girls, I bet he could at least ask for a phone number. I'm always amused how quickly "because boyfriend" can turn into "it's complicated."



rdos
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21 Jun 2019, 3:44 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
Having a “magical” connection with a stranger and chatting in a public place like a park or coffee shop is a lot different than asking a bunch of random women on a date until someone says yes.

While I’ve never had a magical connection with a stranger, I think that theoretically it could happen. Since it’s unlikely, I think the best thing is to focus on making friendships with a diverse group of people and then, at some point, a friendship could grow into something else.


You don't just get a magical connection with a stranger. It requires effort & persistence.

As for friends first, I cannot get a crush on a friend, and thus such a thing can never lead to a magical connection. It might become a good friendship, but the true love state will never develop from it.