I feel I am the stereotypical loser

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chris1989
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14 Jun 2019, 2:45 pm

I seem to feel like I am someone out of a cartoon, film or TV show who is nerdy, quiet, unattractive, medium-built (quite skinny, Not muscular), doesn't have many friends, and that people don't want to talk to me because I maybe boring and know from my body language that I'm not as neuro-typical as they are, stays indoors on weekends while others partying and drinking while I read a book, go on my chromebook, watch a documentary or film etc, tries dating online and barely get any messages whatsoever and think the reason they won't reply is because of the way I look in my profile picture when really it shouldn't be about looks.



jimmy m
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14 Jun 2019, 3:02 pm

Use the analytical side of your brain. Determine your goal and write it down. Then devise a plan for achieving your goal and write it down. Now you have a script. But be flexible to change the script when your plan has weaknesses and needs to be revised. And most importantly IMPLEMENT your plan.

For example if you feel your profile picture is poor, then hire a professional photographer to take a good photo that can be used to update your profile picture. If you feel your write-up is weak find an extrovert that would be willing to review your profile and give you sound advise on an tips for improving it. You don't need to lie or be dishonest, just put your best foot forward.



Exuvian
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14 Jun 2019, 4:44 pm

Really good advice from jimmy m.
I just want to remind you that you mentioned a lot of positive personal traits, so... sorry, you don't get to be a loser. :wink:

You're smart, reserved, sensible, curious and for trying dating sites, I'd say courageous!



IstominFan
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14 Jun 2019, 4:55 pm

I was the stereotypical book reading, shy, "crazy cat lady" in my teens and 20s. Today, my life is more active. I still love cats as much as ever, though.



Joe90
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14 Jun 2019, 5:00 pm

I like Chris1989. I always read his threads. He has so many positive traits. He is not a loser at all.


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PoseyBuster88
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14 Jun 2019, 10:40 pm

Honestly, I wish I had more friends who would watch tv, discuss books/latest special interest research topic, etc with me. You sound like a great person! I used to go out to bars...had an extrovert roommate...you aren't missing much. Just drunk people and really loud music.

I agree with that first reply you received. Think about goals and come up with some steps you can take. Like if you don't like your physique, start doing a few push ups or something every evening. If you don't think your dating profile is doing it for you, have someone give you pointers. Maybe join some sort of club...there are walking/hiking clubs, dancing clubs, gardening co-ops (not sure what they are called in the UK)...all kinds of things. If you WANT to get out of the house more. I would encourage you though to think about what YOU want, and not what you think you are SUPPOSED to be doing.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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15 Jun 2019, 9:12 am

Nobody wins everything

Nobody loses everything



IstominFan
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15 Jun 2019, 10:31 am

I don't think drunk people are fun to be around, either. Most people get stupid when they drink and some can be very loud and aggressive.



shortfatbalduglyman
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15 Jun 2019, 8:38 pm

Some precious lil "people" are not as great as they act like they are

:twisted:



Persephone29
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15 Jun 2019, 10:20 pm

chris1989 wrote:
I seem to feel like I am someone out of a cartoon, film or TV show who is nerdy, quiet, unattractive, medium-built (quite skinny, Not muscular), doesn't have many friends, and that people don't want to talk to me because I maybe boring and know from my body language that I'm not as neuro-typical as they are, stays indoors on weekends while others partying and drinking while I read a book, go on my chromebook, watch a documentary or film etc, tries dating online and barely get any messages whatsoever and think the reason they won't reply is because of the way I look in my profile picture when really it shouldn't be about looks.



I'm not in the market for dating, been married 15 years. But, you sound like my tribe. Everything you mentioned sounds like a perfect day, to me.


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Fern
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15 Jun 2019, 11:38 pm

chris1989 wrote:
I seem to feel like I am someone out of a cartoon, film or TV show who is nerdy, quiet, unattractive, medium-built (quite skinny, Not muscular), doesn't have many friends, and that people don't want to talk to me because I maybe boring and know from my body language that I'm not as neuro-typical as they are, stays indoors on weekends while others partying and drinking while I read a book, go on my chromebook, watch a documentary or film etc, tries dating online and barely get any messages whatsoever and think the reason they won't reply is because of the way I look in my profile picture when really it shouldn't be about looks.


I don't know. You sound like someone I'd be friends with.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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15 Jun 2019, 11:41 pm

I am 36

No future, job, job skills, friends, boyfriend,

So what?


"Life" goes on and on and on and on and on



How do a "loser" feel?