Looking to meet real people/Make some real friends but...

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Joined: 13 May 2016
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 11
Location: UK

21 Jun 2019, 1:09 pm

...I really can't work out how to go about it or even where to start properly.

I've not had any real friends (associates and online contacts not withstanding) since I was in my early teens and the few acquaintances I did know have long since gone out of my life over the years, and I have less than zero idea how to go about making new friends or meeting people, doubly so since I'm a high functioning autistic with notable anxiety and sensory issues (predominantly Light & Sound based) that mean I'm almost always wearing dark glasses an sporting a pair of noise canceling headphones.

I've never really been a people person, I'm highly introverted and have always been content with this for the most part, at least until recently. More of late, especially since moving out on my own, I've found myself missing human contact, which I didn't really give much thought to as I lived at home so typically always had someone there sort of thing, and it's actually become something of a depressing issue for me.

Once upon a time I had a support worker who I'd see once a week, to go out, chat to and try new things with, and that was great, however my supporter got sick and had to give up the job, and the organization that’s involved with arranging that is wholly volunteer based and tries to put people together who would get along, so until someone else volunteers that fits what the organization think is suitable for me, I'm on my own.

I've looked online and seen how other people go about meeting people, such as bars and pubs, but I'm not a drinker and the setting in general is to much for me to cope with, the number of people, the various agendas, the noise, the lights, the smells (God this one hurts me, you put 30+ people together with each one wearing a different perfume/cologne and it becomes a melting pot of pain to my nose and brain) and it all just overwhelms me.

I've even looked to see if there are any local groups with other people like myself with autism in the area, and sadly there don't seem to be, at least none for adults, every seems to be aimed at kids and teens with disabilities, not adults (You'd think they'd click that kids and teens grow up into adults, and not all cases are diagnosed early, like myself for example) so I'm left floundering and seeking help and advice from the people here.

So anyone want to hand out some guidance/wisdom here?

Mona Pereth

Joined: 11 Sep 2018
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,347
Location: New York City (Queens)

24 Jun 2019, 12:53 am

Two suggestions:

1) Get to know some of the other Wrong Planet posters who are from the U.K. Most likely, some of them are looking for friends too.

2) What are your hobbies/interests? See if you can find groups on Meetup.com that are relevant to your interests.

- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- My life as one of the many belatedly-diagnosed autistic older people.
- Queens discussion group on Meetup.com.


User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 15,822

24 Jun 2019, 1:37 am

I would start a new thread on the "getting to know you" section of WP advertising that you are looking to make friends in your general area where you live.

I think you will be surprised how many people on WP are within travelling distance to a mutually agreeable location for meetups