Feeling left out among other people

Post Reply New Topic

I seem to feel like I'm jealous of someone on social media who is a bit like me who likes to read books, play games and so on and yet she has a boyfriend and friends unlike me but does occasionally go out with them, only to a club or bar with her friends not on her own and stays at home and I still see her photos of her with friends at nice places and enjoying a laugh and drink and was I think renting a holiday home in Spain, she's 26 but doesn't have Aspergers or autism but it leaves me to feel 'why didn't I do something like then and or do something she's doing, it makes me feel everyone like her is doing these things with friends whereas I have had hardly any one to socialise with since school and college. I personally wouldn't go travelling on my own it feels lonely. It makes me feel like I'm wasting my life not doing something she and her friends are doing. I feel like only way to socialise is by going to a club when it's not my ideal social environment. I've been on online dating and barely anyone messages me back. It is frustrating. It makes me feel to them it's I'm boring, weird looking and unattractive and have no time or interest to interact with me.

I have a large circle of friends now and can talk as an equal about nearly everything except relationships. I'm not envious, but I do realize how much time I wasted with my obsessions while others were living their lives. I just hope that I didn't start to live my life too late. I may not catch up until I'm in my sixties, if ever. I just hope I do find love one day and my health stays good.

I'd add you on Facebook. You seem to think the same as me, as I find your posts so relatable. So I think you're rather interesting. But sometimes you don't always come back to your threads to read the replies, so you probably won't see this post.

It's hard not to compare ourselves, but it's a trap worth avoiding. I am not a big socializer either. Most of my adventures to other countries take place in books. Right now, I'm in Russia with The Brothers Karamazov. If I want to try an challenge myself to get out a little, I go to thrift shops or to the library. People tend to leave me alone in those places, a lot of them are 'fringe' people and very accepting of differences. I consider myself a fringe person, so if I have to end up talking with someone, it's usually okay.

I've thought about taking a 'tour' if I went to another country. Someone else could do all the worrying and all I have to do is follow the leader.

I have a lot of travel dreams, but wonder how I would manage the logistics of traveling to another country.

A lot of people have this problem with social media. If it starts to make you unhappy to the point that your life is disrupted, it might help to take a break from Facebook. As to making friends, I've always been bad at it, and I have no suggestions that would be new to you.

I often feel a sense of not quite belonging. I suppose there is a component of comparing myself to others. It's something I manage to push to the back of my mind at times. People don't exclude me on purpose, it's more other people connecting to each other in groups and me not naturally connecting to people and I understand that some people don't naturally click.

I just seem to naturally not click more than the average person from what I can gather. It is by choice I suppose to an extent because I do need a lot of alone time and I'm pretty reserved. Yes, I have friends, but I'm more selective with my close friends. I gave up on Facebook because it just increases social anxiety.