The Mountain Goat News.

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Here is your host... Mountain goat :-

Hi, and welcome to the news update...

A bank has been robbed and two million dollars were stolen... Police are baffled to find a motive for the crime...

Sammy the snail nearly had an accident this mornings as he was chatting on his mobile while sliding... He swerved to avoid a parked car and nearly fell down a drain. We advise all road users to switch off their mobile devices while driving.

News just in...

A hole was found in the fence of the local neudist beach this morning. Police say they're looking into it.

Barry the inventor has come up with a new invention which allows us to see through walls. He has decided to call this new invention a "Window".

And some local news. We have heard that Dai Bach has had a new job. He is in an important position with 500 people under him. He cuts the grass at the local cemetary.

And now a commercial.


Did you know there are people dieing who have never died before? (Yes, and they were the lucky ones!) Try our life insurance...


Having difficulty steering your bicycle? Try "Handlebars"...


Fed up of having that stabbing pain in your eye every time you drink your cup of tea or coffee? Why not remove the spoon?

And we have time for a quick quiz.....

What is it?

A room without a window,
A room without a door.
It hasn't got a ceiling
And it hasn't got a floor.

A man with no arms and no legs was seen swimming in Cardigan Bay in Wales today. When asked, he said his name is Bob.

And we have an interview with an unusual man...

€"Sir, why do you have a seagull on your head?"

"I don't know... I'm in a hurry....."

€"Before you head off, what's your name?"

"My names Cliff".

€"There we have it folks. That was Cliff. The man with a seagull on his head".

And next... Before we answer the quiz we held earlier, we have a difficult situation folks... We have someone invading the newsroom as a protest... Its a BNAG protest...
BNAG?
Yes. Its bang out of order.

Anyone get the answer to the quiz?

New news in. A man was found draghing a car door in the Sahara dessert... When he was asked why he was dragging the car door, Mr David Drip said "It gets hot in this dessert. I brought this car door so If it gets too hot, I just wind down the window".

€"What do you do when you are not out here in the dessert?"

"I'm a plumber".

€"Well, that's it folks... From David Drip the plumber and myself, Mr Mountain Goat, this is the end of the news round up for today... Stay tuned..."

For those who were puzzling over yesterdays quiz...

I don't mean to criticize, but this thread seems kinda silly.