I'm really scared to see my favorite former teacher again!

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I'm a 20 year old girl with Autism. Because I have Autism, I get extremely nervous to the point where i'm scared to death and I have a panic attack when I see someone again who I haven't seen in a really long time. What I mean by that is i'll be shaking really bad, and running away and hiding from the person i'm reuniting with after years of not seeing them. I just get really nervous to hear their voice again and things like that. So basically, I get nervous whenever i'm experiencing something i'm not used to.

In middle school, I had the sweetest, most caring and nurturing computer teacher. She was my favorite teacher of all time, and I was also her favorite student because I have always been really smart and a good student, plus i'm really good with computers. I was also very sweet to her, which she has always appreciated and loved about me. I had(and still have) such a special bond with her and she and I are still really great friends today. However, I haven’t seen her since I was in middle school(7 years ago).

I asked her if I could see her again, and she invited me to get coffee with her, so i'm supposed to meet up with her at Starbucks in a couple weeks. I'm really looking forward to seeing her again, but I haven’t seen her in years, so I'm WAY too nervous to see her! I’m SCARED to see her! I’m shaking really bad right now just thinking about it! I’m not used to seeing her and it’s going to feel really weird seeing her again!

I’ve told her how painfully nervous and scared I am to see her, and she told me that I don't need to be scared or nervous around her and that she’s really excited to see me. I’m nervous to hear her voice again(she has a really high pitched, sweet voice and she’s naturally soft spoken). Her voice IS really cute and adorable(she sounds like Fluttershy from My Little Pony), but I'm not used to hearing her voice anymore and I'm nervous to hear it again. I haven’t heard her voice since I was in middle school! Not only that, but I get extremely nervous for a person’s really excited reaction to seeing me again for the first time in a long time, and I'm extremely nervous for HER excited reaction to seeing me again! I’m nervous to see her all happy when she sees me and for the big hug she’s going to give me! It’ll feel extremely weird HUGGING someone I haven’t even seen in person in years!

How can I feel less scared and nervous than I already am so that I won’t be running away and hiding from her when I see her? Is there a way to not be so nervous and scared? I am having a really bad panic attack right now because I'm going to see her in only a couple weeks and it’s going to feel so weird seeing her! It’s not shyness that’s making me feel this way(I'm actually really talkative and outgoing)! I just struggle with things I'm not used to! It’s very hard for me! Are there any methods I can try to not feel so nervous about seeing her again? I want to be able to talk to her without feeling scared or nervous, shaking or having a panic attack. My heart is beating so hard right now! I’M SO SCARED! PLEASE HELP ME IN THIS SITUATION!

How familiar is she with your situation? Do you think she might be willing to send you a picture or short "hello" video clip? That way you could "cheat" and acclimate a bit by seeing and/or hearing her in advance without the full in-person experience.

What if you reminded yourself it will also be awesome to see her again? It's okay to be nervous, but the language of your post reads a lot like you psyching yourself up to be more nervous. Remember that there will be many positive things to seeing her again. Won't it be fun too?

Maybe it would help to picture the meeting in your imagination first, walk through it and rehearse the situation as you'd like it to happen. Realize that she is a friend who cares for you and take comfort in knowing the little details don't matter.

If any/all of this advice is not helpful, then I hope my post at least bumps the thread so someone else can chime in.

What's scarier? Seeing your favourite former teacher, or spending your life knowing you let the last opportunity pass you by?

Usually that's how I deal with this sort of anxiety, I try to reframe things so I see how what I'm ignoring is actually a bigger deal than the elements I'm fixated on and losing my s**t over. Generally it works.

Calm down! She is nice and will enjoy to see you and you'll relax as soon as you'll see her again.
Sometimes only strange imaginations keep us from being happy or just together with other nice people.

It sounds a little like ’catastrophizing’ i.e. getting worried and anxious about the possible negative outcomes of a future scenario. It sounds like you had a really good relationship with your teacher though, and are worried about how you might come across to her now - is something like a video chat with her possible? It might help stave off some of the fear your feeling :hugs: