is losing friends, growing, drifting apart from them normal?

Page 2 of 2 [ 25 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,588
Location: California, United States

11 Jul 2019, 6:21 pm

ya, a part of me is also kinda mad, pissed off at my childhood friend, former friend, for not giving me a reason as to why he declined to speak to me again in the first place.



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,405

11 Jul 2019, 7:17 pm

As somebody who has lived in the NT world I can give my perspective.

When you are in school you are with your friends for many years but this all changes when you leave school.
In my experience most NT school leavers have aspirations to better themselves whether through work or career but also through climbing social ladders.

On that journey they may make friendships with you but unless you are both travelling on the same path then one of you will naturally start to drift apart. Social media nowadays makes it possible to keep in touch but lets face it, a 2D friendship is not the same.

Other friends might be aiming to climb social ladders and when they feel you are holding them back they will ignore/avoid or stop taking your calls. This is also normal in the NT world.



WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,588
Location: California, United States

15 Jul 2019, 6:48 pm

ya, I have sometimes wondered if the untimely death of the Father of my childhood friend, he was only 15 when his Dad passed away, a sophomore in high school, impacted his personality, attitude a lot to the extent, point, that it made him develop an attitude, personality, that he didn't want to speak to or reconnect with certain people from his past, who knew him from the time his Dad was still around.



Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,607

17 Jul 2019, 9:36 am

I don't there is one human who hasn't experienced a relationship where people drift apart because that's just and it's the way it is. It is not pleasant but it gives you more room to meet other people who want to meet you. It sometimes takes a while but you find them when you are not looking.



WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,588
Location: California, United States

17 Jul 2019, 5:31 pm

ya, my current best friend, I've known him since 2012, we met at work.



JustFoundHere
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jan 2018
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 653
Location: California

19 Jul 2019, 1:30 pm

Magna wrote:
I believe it is normal. "Life happens". Meaning, people change, get jobs, move away, get married or in serious relationships, have kids, have money troubles or make a lot of it, get religion or lose it, develop addictions, change ideology, get sick, etc.

Any of those kinds of things can be reasons friends drift apart. I've also read that once a man is out of college or is past college age, it's harder for him to make new friends more so than is is typically for women.

I know I drifted from a few close friends I had at age 30 and did not regain any new ones in their place.


This is common.



WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,588
Location: California, United States

19 Jul 2019, 6:29 pm

ya, I feel I screwed up, made things worse, when I tried to reconnect or rekindle my friendship with my childhood friend, former friend, its a long story though.



Canary
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Sep 2016
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 603
Location: Midwest

25 Jul 2019, 3:53 pm

I think so. People can change from 15 to 30 and not have the same values or needs in a friendship. Distance, jobs, kids, etc, only make it harder.

I miss my high school friends sometimes, but I'm also glad I met new people who care more about what's important to me now and make me worry less.



WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,588
Location: California, United States

26 Jul 2019, 8:28 am

ya, it sucks, and makes me angry, when someone doesn't give you a reason as to why they don't want to reconnect or rekindle the friendship in the first place, i'm sure its easy or normal for the person who is attempting to befriend that person again, to think or assume that other person has a grudge towards them or something against them.



Rainbow_Belle
Raven
Raven

Joined: 16 Jan 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 124
Location: Sydney

07 Aug 2019, 5:26 am

Making and keeping friends is easy for NT females and males.
It is hard for Aspie females because we are often labeled weird and creepy.
It is most difficult for Aspie males because they are labelled as weird and creepy and being male they are regarded as dangerous.