Why do I mostly hear negative stories about social skills?

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When I studied customer service, my teacher always said that a satisfied customer will tell of the experience to three others, but unsatisfied will tell it to ten. Could be the same here; the need to let out steam when things go wrong is greater than the desire to share the feeling of succes.

For all I know, people mistook "I wanna be normal" and "I wanna be this person that I'm not but everyone expects" with "I wanna be capable and free, and be actually able to serve with a face".

Therefore... Follow what's "normal" in order to be "happy".
In order to "relate" they say -- but in reality, it's very limiting and the fulfillment is naught but an idea what it means to be socially fulfilled.




As for myself... Fate chose the wrong person to coddle.
I'm socially fulfilled, but I'm asocial. If I ever want any relationship, I'd be as myself as much as possible and would never mask as a means to gain any bond other than to the idea of willful accommodation. I know the difference between the two.
So... I don't feel this 'longing' or 'need', if anything sure I can appreciate yet I have more than enough -- nor do felt obliged to socially fulfill the society's expectations of having any relationship despite the lack of interest, therefore I don't have to put up with it because I have a choice and I won't.

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I once posted what I thought was a supportive message to a person who was experiencing the loss of a relationship and/or the inability to have one, I don't remember which. The response from the OP was a snarky how nice it was that I was happy and rubbing it in to those who are not. So I tend not to do that anymore.

I would much rather see posts about positive things and proactive things to do to ameliorate some of our problems living in a world where we don't belong.

I just ignore those types of folks.

They have an agenda which doesn't match my agenda.

All they want is negativity; they feed off it.

So, any ideas on how to move creative and positive threads forward? I don't, but I certainly could appreciate thoughtful discussions on almost any topic. The point, for me anyway, is to move my brain forward, to expand it with other perspectives and get me out of my own rut.

The negative stories are more powerful than the positive

For example if someone is homophobic, they rape me . If they are not homophobic, they ignored me


It is easier to forget getting ignored than raped

I have many positive social experiences now. I have made friends at the various activities in which I participate and am generally well-liked at work. However, I have not yet experienced success on the love and dating aspect of my life. This may be the one area that may not happen for me until I'm at least in my 60s. I have a lot of experience to make up and I still have a way to go in accomplishing adult milestones.

*in reply to Pepe*
There actually have been members here who made these type of threads and eventually made changes and progress and found a better life or partners. Most move on and stop posting, Nick007 is still around and often gives good advice and a couple of others drop by once in a while.

Some, on the other hand, openly admit that they don't want to change (even just to improve their own health and well-being) or go out looking for people and things they desire, but wait to be found... It used to exasperate me some years ago so I just distanced myself. It's like banging your head against a wall - Fnord knows it best, he's been incredibly resilient in trying to offer concrete, practical advice in exchange for abuse.

Now I just think it's incredibly sad and futile, a self-fulfilling prophecy. But I had to fend for myself from a very early age and was basically forced to adopt a "I'll do this or die trying" kind of attitude. So maybe I don't understand what it's like for them.