Be Careful of Some Autism Facebook Groups

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Recently I have been involved in an Autism Facebook Group and found myself leaving. I did involved posting on the page and got positive feedback but it did have it’s problems that did concern me a lot.

I did see a bit of abuse come from people especially when it came to expressing points of view. I saw a lot of posts of people saying they want to chat which seemed a bit suspect. You don’t whether these people were genuine or hard another agenda.

Also, someone started contacting me wanting to have a ‘relationship’ with and she kept constantly messaging me on messenger that I had to put a block.

I feel sad I had to leave but feel there is an element of that group that is not safe.

facebook is evil. I thankfully deactivated mine, and I'm never looking back. FB pretty much encourages its users to post their lives just so everyone else can judge them, whether it be positively or negatively. It sucks you into an evil realm. It makes 16 year olds feel inadequate if they see a picture of a party they weren't invited to, it makes 26 year olds feel inadequate when they see how all of their peers have graduated college and are now into marketing and tech, and it makes 36 year olds feel inadequate if they're still single and everyone around you has a family of their own but you. or maybe they took a year off cause they have money and got to experience life. That's it! I want to experience life and travel.

I wouldn't be too scared of facebook though; all kinds of places have their problems. I've never been a member of any autism group in facebook, but I'm a member in many others and even all of them put together have never made me feel as unsafe as WP sometimes does.

It debends on what group it is, I suppose.

I think there are some groups out there that are generally alright and are administrated very well. But what concerns me the slight bullying that could happen. Which I am very sensitive to. Also, these people coming on wanting ‘chat’s’ bother me as well. I’m all for chatting with someone but if it means something else which could be let’s say a bit more intimate then that is a concern.

As an aside, a lot of those accounts wanting to chat are fake computer programmed accounts that serve as a way to market adult websites and services to people. They are not real people.

A big problem with Facebook, for a topic like autism, is the lack of anonymity.

Facebook's official policy is that users must use their legal names. (Of course you CAN ignore that policy and use a pseudonym, but then you may lose your account if anyone complains, or if you are caught by whatever algorithm Facebook might occasionally use to attempt to find and purge accounts with pseudonyms.)

I consider the lack of anonymity to be a big problem even when not dealing with the kinds of topics (such as autism) for which most people would desire privacy. Anyone who takes offense at anything you say, for any reason, can easily ruin your life and make you unemployable (for many kinds of jobs, at least) merely by bad-mouthing you on social media.

The biggest issue i've found with fb autism groups is the strong anti NT flavour. It's really unhealthy and anyone who suggests they want to be able to meet the NTs in their life part way to the extent they're able (which I'll admit is complicated, but I want my husband and children to know I'm always doing my best to meet their needs as well as communicate my own as kindly and clearly as possible).

I left when I asked for tips for communicating to my daughter reminders in public about things like hands in her pants and lifting her dress over her head, which she does when she's embarrassed or stressed but are a safety/hygiene issue so I need to be able to communicate with her without her feeling embarrassed). I was absolutely jumped on and told I was impeding her self expression. It's not a self expression issue, it's about safety.

I was told I'm not allowed to try and participate more in my husband's social life in ways I'm able out of love for his needs. And I was told that since my husband married someone with autism he should only socialise with autistic people as we're the ones with a disability so all of the concessions need to come from him, never me.

He already needs to accommodate me so, so much, it's not ridiculous to want to come the other way a little as I'm able.