Why did I go to school for so long for this

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I was diagnosed with Aspergers (unofficially, ASD officially) in my last semester of nursing school. It came as a big surprise. My brother has had the same diagnosis for years and is nothing like me (or so I thought). I had been putting off my mental health for school, and when I got a job, things started crashing down around me and I decided it was time to take the Asperger’s thing seriously and get out of denial.

My job has been a huge source of stress and I’m wondering why I did it. When I read up on Asperger’s and the traits I have because of it, none of it “works” with the culture of nursing. I am working on a pretty acute floor of the hospital, taking care of 5-6 patients a night. I am working 6 PM to 6 am, random shifts, including weekends and holidays. Essentially, nursing culture (at least where I live) encourages hazing and a sort of “fake it till you make it” attitude. The only way to get better is to try, fail, and keep trying and ask for help a lot. I also deal with a lot of dissatisfied patients, not because of me, but because of the system or because I am trying to juggle too many tasks at once. The kicker of the whole things is that I wanted to work with children but ended up settling for a job with adults, and I don’t interact well with adults.

I have to stay at this job for at least another few months. I’m trying to decide what to do after that. I spent a lot of time and energy on getting my bachelors degree, and I think to an extent I am becoming too negative about everything because of what I’m reading online and other people’s experiences. At the same time, I dread going into work, my sleep schedule is a mess, and I feel like I have no time or energy for anything else. When I have a night shift, I spend the whole day worrying about work and don’t spend the time on things I enjoy. If I have an appointment or other responsibility in my off time, I get stressed about planning and driving and then it ends up being a whole free day “wasted.”

Does anyone have any advice on how to let things go after work is over, or to stop stressing about work before it happens, or to just achieve a better work/life balance? Has anyone had a similar experience or have some advice to share? I’m only in my 20s and I know I have a lot of time to figure things out, but I need something to change soon, because I am struggling more every day.
Thanks!

The first few months of work are the hardest, over time it gets easier.
Try to look after yourself - get enough sleep, eat well etc.
You might be better off in a different role, but until the opportunity arises its best to stick with where you're at - as long as you can maintain your mental/physical health.
Wishing you well