Is self-esteem beneficial for aspies?

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neptunekh
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11 Jul 2019, 12:20 am

It may be great to have goof self esteem but I can't be bothered with it.



ezbzbfcg2
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11 Jul 2019, 12:25 am

I may be dumb, but I'm not a dweeb. I'm just a sucker with no self-esteem.



KT67
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11 Jul 2019, 1:57 am

Yes it is, are you a troll or something?



IstominFan
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11 Jul 2019, 8:50 am

I'm not keen on the term "self-esteem." It implies you need to bolster somebody's confidence before doing something. Real confidence comes from achievement and successful realization of a goal. I distrust these "self-esteem" boosting exercises, because I only feel confident after I have actually completed something, or I am actually moving forward. All of the compliments in the world mean nothing to me if I am staying in the same place, or worse, actually regressing.



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11 Jul 2019, 8:56 am

neptunekh wrote:
It may be great to have good self-esteem but I can't be bothered with it.
Self-esteem should be derived from personal accomplishments, and not from empty praise or a trophy given to someone for showing up.


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KT67
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11 Jul 2019, 8:58 am

It depends.

Self esteem as in 'I am great' - no. Earn that first.

Self esteem as in 'I am a human being and worthy of life' - shouldn't have to be earned.

Self esteem ought to not be reliant on adherence to what society values either. Society doesn't put a lot of stock (read, cash value) on some aspie achievements which are still achievements. Being published internationally is an achievement but if you do it in poetry, you don't get money.



kraftiekortie
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11 Jul 2019, 8:58 am

I once had a third-place trophy for bowling (and I didn't even deserve that, since my teammate bowled twice as good as I did).

I just wanted to throw the damn thing away.



magz
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11 Jul 2019, 9:01 am

There is some region of healthy self-esteem that enables one to see both pleasant and unpleasant truths about themself.
It's beneficial for everyone.


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Fnord
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11 Jul 2019, 9:07 am

When I consider my own "self-esteem", I look back on my degrees, licenses, and other things I've earned. I also look at my wife and our children, and how they have grown and developed. What others would consider "status symbols" I consider the "basic necessities of life" -- home, transportation, clothing, et cetera.

Every day, I encounter people who were praised and coddled since birth by their parents and teachers, and who become anxious when they find they have to compete for jobs, raises and promotions. Some actually believed that they should receive base pay for just showing up, and "incentive pay" for doing their work. Those people don't remain employed for very long.


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BenderRodriguez
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11 Jul 2019, 9:10 am

Fnord wrote:
neptunekh wrote:
It may be great to have good self-esteem but I can't be bothered with it.
Self-esteem should be derived from personal accomplishments, and not from empty praise or a trophy given to someone for showing up.

This. The term has been bastardised by pop psychology.


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jimmy m
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11 Jul 2019, 9:16 am

The definition of self esteem is "confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect." It is very beneficial for Aspies. Many Aspies feel deficient in this trait and they tend to describe their lives as miserable.



kraftiekortie
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11 Jul 2019, 9:18 am

I think Jimmy latched onto a very good definition of self-esteem.



KT67
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11 Jul 2019, 10:10 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I once had a third-place trophy for bowling (and I didn't even deserve that, since my teammate bowled twice as good as I did).

I just wanted to throw the damn thing away.


How many teams were bowling?

I once won second place in an art contest and there were only two of us who entered.

I was 7 but it was embarrassing.



Fnord
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11 Jul 2019, 10:12 am

jimmy m wrote:
The definition of self esteem is "confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect." It is very beneficial for Aspies. Many Aspies feel deficient in this trait and they tend to describe their lives as miserable.
If self-esteem is indeed having confidence in one's own worth or abilities, then self-pity must be the opposite: "having no confidence in one's own worth or abilities".


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kraftiekortie
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11 Jul 2019, 10:19 am

There were at least 20 teams in bowling at that time.