Are you possessive of your special interests?

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MagicMeerkat
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23 Jul 2019, 7:44 pm

I just came to a realization recently that I could never work at a zoo that had meerkats unless I was the one caring for them. Zookeepers don't exactly get to pick the animals they take care of. I would feel too much resentment for the person who DID get to take care of them. Resentment that would very quickly turn into pathological hate. I'd also probably have issues with the person running the zoo telling who knows jack s**t about meerkats compared to what I know. I could always just move to another country and work in one of those animal cafes. There's in in South Korea that has them and the employees do know basic English. Or I could just move to South Africa and work at a wildlife rehabilitation center. Working at a zoo isn't as hands on as they make you think. They don't even let you touch some animals. And wonder why people don't care about saving said species. Some people are tactile and nothing gets through them unless they can touch it. With the whole hand, not two fingers. (Doesn't seem like the animal enjoys being touched with two fingers either. I've seen some people literally jab them with two fingers.)

I don't like to share my special interests. No one wanted to listen when I was willing to share. When someone asks me about meerkats I usually give them the vaguest answer. Yeah, at a zoo, I couldn't talk to the public about them either. "Go watch that f*****g new show/movie you love so much if you want to know so bad! You didn't want to hear about them before that show came out! You only pretend to be interested because of that stupid show/movie!"

But anyway, do you feel possessive of your special interests? Like your the only person who can talk about them or have anything to do with them?


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martianprincess
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23 Jul 2019, 8:18 pm

No, but when I was a teenager I did feel agitated if I overheard someone talking about something I was intensely interested in because I never felt like they knew "enough" or that they were "good enough" to like the same things because I assumed they didn't understand it and appreciate it the same way that I did. This was mostly with the music I liked or the books/poems I liked.

I don't always feel that way anymore but sometimes I might get faint feelings of agitation but I tend to let it go a lot easier than I could when I was younger.


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23 Jul 2019, 8:29 pm

I used to almost think along those lines but I found I want to share my interests. I want to convert everyone to my way of thinking so I don't feel I am alone in my views.
My two hobbies which I can go into some depth with in certain areas... I know what i like and so I will share what I like. If someone dissagrees with me without a reasonable explanation I go quiet as why should I argue my case? I mean... I already know the subject insideout. Nothing will change me on my conclusions about my likes and disslikes. They fail to realize that I have been there and done that so my conclusions are base upon trying out what they are passionate about and have decided that the "Fasionable route" they are on was based upon sales and not based upon mechanical suitability and general suitability, simplicity and easy to use and repair etc... They seem to ignore my years of experience in the subject (s). I don't share my knowledge without having years of thinking things through to reach my conclusions.
I don't mind people coming to their own conclusions, but I don't like people who say I am wrong and ignore the fact that I have already been there and done that when they had not even started in the hobby. So I let them carry on and dig themselves into their own personal money pit. They could have been more satisfied spening a fraction of their hard earned cash had they listened!

Now if someone wants to copy me I am flattered. For model railways, I want them to copy some of my ideas, but then put their "Style" to it. In other words, by all means copy some of my designs and my couplings etc, but then create their very own little railway company with its own livery rather then an exact copy of mine. (If it were possible!)

The same goes with bicycles. Certainly copy my set of rules which I like to use to uild up a bicydle, but adopt ones own colour when painting the frames Make your bikes yours... (If that makes sense?)


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Edna3362
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23 Jul 2019, 9:02 pm

It can vary, because of how I express my life long special interest.
And how I'd like to express that interest involves a lot of give aways and exchanges. :lol:

Yet not much on talking about it per se -- unless equal exchanges are involved.
"I suggest this, you suggest that, let's see how you and I do well with it. If it works out, we'll try out and see. If not, then we can always ask what might be wrong with it."

Sadly I barely get any of these exchanges, despite being a common interest.


Some are just mentioned. Some are implicitly mentioned. I don't usually give out any opinions, at best I give out observations and maybe some examples.
The rest is strictly secret and no one could ever talk me out of it. :twisted: Half of it really means 'It's mine and mine alone', half of it involves a lot of stealth hoarding.


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MjrMajorMajor
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23 Jul 2019, 11:12 pm

I cannot, because I find that asking/learning about special interests helps me connect with other people.



MagicMeerkat
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23 Jul 2019, 11:43 pm

MjrMajorMajor wrote:
I cannot, because I find that asking/learning about special interests helps me connect with other people.


I never had the desire to interact with other people. Other people are what keep me from my special interests or want me not to have them or want to control them for me.


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Mountain Goat
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24 Jul 2019, 3:45 am

I share pictures but I don't share my trains themselves! Haha! Not the ones I make.


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DemophobicKlingon
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24 Jul 2019, 5:26 am

I can understand about the meerkats thing. That's your little niche. I can relate to the vague answer thing too.
It's like a mixed thing.


When my interest comes up, I can go on and on but I filter myself or may give shorter answers when social anxiety gets in the mix. I know it's for different reasons than with meerkats. When I was younger, my mom used to get tired of me rambling on about my interests, so that's part of how the filter developed.

I can relate to being possessive over special interests. Like about animals, shows and movies I like, doing artwork, about cryptozoology. When I find out another person draws or is getting into drawing, while it's something we can bond over, I feel a sense of competition, or I get worried about them becoming the better artist if they are getting into drawing. I strongly believe that there are many methods of doing art, that a lot of styles are not "better" than the other, but it's an irrational fear I have.

When a show or a topic comes up in a conversation and I'm having social anxiety and don't get involved, I regret not getting involved. A sense of resentment is also there for the people not including me in the conversation. I know that it's irrational. I remember when I was little, I went through a penguin phase and one of the worse things that someone could (and another meanie in my class did) say to me is "I know more about penguins that you."

If conversations about an interest goes by really quickly and I don't get to get a word in-between, or people tell me facts about my interests that I already know. I'm polite to them about it but on the inside, I'm squalling. Or when people ask "Have you ever heard of ____?" If I've ever heard of a special interest.


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IstominFan
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24 Jul 2019, 6:29 am

I love to talk about cats and animals to my friends who also have pets.



CockneyRebel
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25 Jul 2019, 12:32 am

I can be very possessive of my German helmets. A self-made costume one in particular. I kept on insisting that I was going to wear it in the early February of 2016 and my mum kept on saying no. I wore it anyways and I still wear it to this day. It's covered in green/blue holographic vinyl now. Every Weasel deserves a nice, shiny helmet.


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Aprilviolets
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25 Jul 2019, 2:05 am

I can be possessive of mine and get annoyed if anyone says negative things about them.



IstominFan
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25 Jul 2019, 4:29 pm

I talk about tennis when I'm at the tennis court. I like to talk about my favorite players and to listen to other people talk about their favorites.



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25 Jul 2019, 4:43 pm

I don't know a lot about tennis players but i did find a tennis ball in with my videos and DVD's.


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ToughDiamond
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25 Jul 2019, 11:16 pm

I wouldn't say I was exactly possessive about them, i.e. I don't go around thinking "keep your noses out of my special interests, they're mine, do you hear?" Just that most people either aren't interested in them or they're so specialised and tailored to me that they'd be very unlikely to be able to share them. If you want a job doing right, do it yourself. And my idea of a job done right is very exacting and specific to me. There's no reason in principle why somebody on my wavelength about one of my activities couldn't share it, in fact I'd be delighted. But the chances of that are pretty small. And who would ever happen by chance to share my enthusiasm for whatever narrowly-defined goal I was pursuing? More likely they'd manage to unwittingly deflect me off my path, or I'd end up using them as labouring help, which isn't really sharing, just because I was so hyperfocussed on the result I wanted.



Mona Pereth
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26 Jul 2019, 7:22 pm

MagicMeerkat wrote:
But anyway, do you feel possessive of your special interests? Like your the only person who can talk about them or have anything to do with them?

Not me. I've always sought out people who shared my interests, special or otherwise.


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LiverpoolDave
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29 Jul 2019, 1:14 pm

Mona Pereth wrote:
MagicMeerkat wrote:
But anyway, do you feel possessive of your special interests? Like your the only person who can talk about them or have anything to do with them?

Not me. I've always sought out people who shared my interests, special or otherwise.


Same. I would love it if everyone was fascinated by The Napoleonic Wars and willing to discuss them the way we talk about the weather.