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Meistersinger
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21 May 2013, 9:47 pm

When I took the ADOS mod 4 and the Weschler back in June of 2012, I felt relief. However, like I told my next door neighbor, it's no panacea.

Yes, I was able to get SSDI, but my brothers still think I'm a lazy SOB, who doesn't deserve anything, let alone live. As a matter of fact, if I'd threaten suicide when I went through my depression, they would have handed me a rope, and make me hang myself, just so they wouldn't have to look at my big fat ugly face and body.



Meistersinger
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21 May 2013, 9:50 pm

When I took the ADOS mod 4 and the Weschler back in June of 2012, I felt relief. However, like I told my next door neighbor, it's no panacea.

Yes, I was able to get SSDI, but my brothers still think I'm a lazy SOB, who doesn't deserve anything, let alone live. As a matter of fact, if I'd threaten suicide when I went through my depression, they would have handed me a rope, and make me hang myself, just so they wouldn't have to look at my big fat ugly face and body.



DJFester
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22 May 2013, 6:02 am

girl7000 wrote:
For me it was a relief because I'd been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I had been told by counsellors, parents and teachers that my problems were all my fault for not trying hard enough and that I was a bad person - and I believed this as I couldn't think of any other logical explanation

Being diagnosed with AS made me realise for the first time that it wasn't my fault and that it was okay to find things like socialising and understanding others difficult - I wasn't just some really bad and horrible person.

I understand who and what I am now and I feel so much better about myself. I am a good person, I just find some things difficult, that's all.


^^

This is exactly what I've been through, as well.


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chlov
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22 May 2013, 7:29 am

Macgumerait wrote:
When were you diagnosed with AS? What was your own reaction to the diagnosis? Did you struggle to accept it or just get on with things?

I am diagnosed since the age of 6, but came to know I had AS only when my mother told me (I was almost 14).
I just thought "ahw well" and moved on.
I didn't feel despair or relief or whatever, my life has always been mostly good, I've lived almost 14 years of my life without knowing I had it, but I had it even before I knew it, so why things should have changed when I came to know I had it?



glider18
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22 May 2013, 7:41 am

I was working as the gifted intervention specialist at my school when I first heard of Asperger's (I had never heard of it before). Curious, I searched the internet about Asperger's (this was in September or October of 2008) and felt cold chills when I learned of the criteria and traits of it. I felt as though I was reading my biography. I had always wondered about why I was the way I was (my unique and eccentric ways all my life).

I discussed Asperger's with my wife by showing here a list of its traits. She said "that's you."

So...I researched and found a specialist in Asperger's. I made an appointment. He would see me in the first part of November.

I drove to Cincinnati by myself for my appointment. After a lengthy diagnostic session, I was diagnosed with Asperger's.

My reaction? I was happy and relieved. I finally knew why I was the way I was. I felt like I emerged from the clinic a new person. It was refreshing. I was on my way to knowing myself better.

I attended a series of therapy sessions for certain little issues I wanted to work on---my wife---and then my sons---attended at least one of those sessions. My wife and family now understood me better.

I did not keep my diagnosis a secret. I have had no negative effects of that.

Less than a year later, my youngest son was also diagnoses with Asperger's---he currently has an IEP from his school for autism. He is a very happy child and does very well in school (honor roll student).

I did not go through the 5 stages mentioned by an earlier poster here.

Here is what I went through after being diagnosed with Asperger's:

*Celebration and relief of better understanding my unique and eccentric ways---I was happy (November 2008).
*Questioning the diagnosis for fearing it was incorrect (I was satisfied with having Asperger's). (December 2008).
*I began my own diagnostic research by digging up old school records and comments by teachers (December 2008).
*After speech specialists, old school records, etc. supported Asperger's, I assured myself I really had Asperger's (January 2009).
*I began using WrongPlanet extensively to learn more about Asperger's and see how it worked in my life (2009-2010).
*Slowly, I no longer focused so heavily on Asperger's, and researching it into the ground (2011 -present).

Being a professional musician and having performed many concerts, I decided during Christmas of 2008 to launch a ministry of music in local area churches. As part of the music ministry, I would also share my belief that Asperger's was a gift from God in my life. I accepted the challenges of autism and noted that everyone (regardless of psychological makeup) has challenges. I noted in these concerts that autism (like other things) can provide gifts and talents is one looks hard enough. Sometimes one has to find the gift, unwrap it, and learn how to use it. In these one hour performances, 45-50 minutes was actually playing music, with the remaining 10-15 minutes spent introducing the songs and discussing Asperger's in my life. The ministry went very well, with one challenging concert in which the mother of a classic autistic child wondered how her child could ever find gifts. All I could offer was that someday her son may find his gifts and learn how to use them. As I am not the social person many people are, I didn't feel comfortable with my advice to her---I contacted the minister the following day and discussed this challenge---he assured me the mother felt comforted by my ministry, but noted concerns over her son.

Also during this time period of late 2008 and early 2009, I began writing a novel. I wrote a lot on it throughout 2009, but later slowed down after reaching 150 pages. I have since edited out some of it, and tried to add some new material. Though over the past couple years I have let the novel set largely untouched, I have made a vow to myself to work on it this summer. I have also gotten the ideas (and outlined) some other writing projects I feel confident about.

In the fall of 2012 I was diagnosed with high blood pressure. I related a lot of it to stresses at my job. I also have anxiety issues. I went on Bystolic which helped tremendously with the anxiety. But my blood pressure remained high. The doctor added Cozaar to the Bystolic, and now my blood pressure is much better. I still have occasional issues with anxiety---but not like before. I am feeling a bit anxious today. But I am ok.


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ZombieBrideXD
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25 May 2013, 1:25 pm

I didnt know what aspergers was, but after i heard it was autism, i was insulted because i believed autism was retardation but at the same time, i knew i was different


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dottsie
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25 May 2013, 2:04 pm

I was happy to find out I'm an aspie. It explained a lot and it gave me reassurance. It didn't upset me because I had been thinking I had it for a while. I probably would have been more upset if I didn't have it lol

It was funny though, cause when the physchologist who broke the news to me went on and on about stuff like how I acted during the test, I zoned out and missed the actual part where she said I have aspergers :lol:



rapidroy
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26 May 2013, 12:11 am

ZombieBrideXD wrote:
I didnt know what aspergers was, but after i heard it was autism, i was insulted because i believed autism was retardation but at the same time, i knew i was different
I was 11, I thought simular only that autistic people(and I actually knew a few with LFA well) only knew like 5 words and could not talk, and I could talk, sometimes too much, I also missed most of my own odd traits. I also had by that time lost all faith in the medical system by that time as they always semed to get it wrong. It was then explaned that AS was a mild form of autism although I was still skeptical. I greatly feared getting treated different then everyone else should anyone find out. I knew I was a little different however making the connection between me and autism was a little bit of a bridge too far in my opinion back then although I can see it clearly now and can't understand why it took so long and so meny doctors.



League_Girl
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26 May 2013, 12:37 am

It took me a few years to accept it and I wasn't relieved or happy when my mother told me I had it. I just thought I could prove them wrong that I don't have it and it was something I could make go away. But I didn't even know what it was then so I didn't even know what I was doing was Asperger behavior or just me being me or NT. Sometimes I wished my mother never told me because what was the point telling me? I forgot I had it every time because I would literally forget having it because I wouldn't think about it. I was 14 when it finally sunk in because I kept hearing it a lot. I didn't start understanding it until I was 15. I didn't even know AS was a form of autism until I was 15 and I wondered if I was autistic and my parents said I wasn't and it was just a form of it. So I learned form meant something else instead of type of something. If you have traits of something, it's a form of it, not a type of it. But yet they will say I have autism. But Asperger's did eventually explain my autistic tenancies I had.


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Panddora
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26 May 2013, 2:02 am

When I realised, in my 60s, I was shocked. I had a formal diagnosis which I still can't believe is correct, even though I know it is. I have only told one person and probably won't tell anyone else. Yet, I am so relieved and quite proud of it. It explains the person I have been and gives me the insight to manage any issues. I wonder how my life would have been if I had been diagnosed when younger but as AS did not exist then, this was not an option. I feel it would not have been a good thing for me as I have just got on with my life and not done badly. I do not think it would have helped me have the friends I want but do not have.



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26 May 2013, 6:10 pm

When I first entered health care system it was because of depression. Severe depression. As I started on medication and waited on the waiting list for psychiatric assessment there was time for me to consider. I knew that there were contributing factors to the depression. That depression had been present for a very long time leading up to this.

I was certain it was something but I didn't know what. I read through all sorts of diagnostic criteria for various mental disorders while on that waiting list. There were bits and pieces from all of them that sounded familiar. After neuropsych testing, based on the tests I did I had a fairly good idea which direction p-doc was leaning. Diagnosis of AS was not a shock to me, not really. However, OCD definitely was. I did go through a few periods of denial about that one.