Why do almost all 'incels' blame their situation on looks?

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BenderRodriguez
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15 Aug 2019, 8:17 am

Fnord wrote:
SportsGamer35728 wrote:
What is one supposed to do if they fare better romantically with minority women but have racist family?
Marry the girl and forget the family.


And you'll be much happier than the other way around!


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DanielW
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15 Aug 2019, 9:43 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
I think that there are many incels who blame their situation on looks. The thing is that the same people don't do anything to change their own looks. They don't want to do the work.


It isn't about LOOKS at all. These types of people are always compaining about how the better looking people get everything they seem to want, but It comes down to attitude every time. If someone is always bitter, jealous, and otherwise not happy with themselves, how can they expect anyone else to be happy with them?

While everyone is entitled to feel bad and vent from time to time...If it becomes a continual theme, people with be turned off by it and eventually tune it (and them) out.



Last edited by DanielW on 15 Aug 2019, 9:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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15 Aug 2019, 9:50 am

It's frustrating when you run into somebody who feels bad, and is negative-----even when positive things are happening in their lives.

My brother is a pain-in-the-butt. He became a millionaire----yet, he's still pissed off at the world. Can't handle that!



BenderRodriguez
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15 Aug 2019, 10:57 am

DanielW wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:
I think that there are many incels who blame their situation on looks. The thing is that the same people don't do anything to change their own looks. They don't want to do the work.


It isn't about LOOKS at all. These types of people are always compaining about how the better looking people get everything they seem to want, but It comes down to attitude every time. If someone is always bitter, jealous, and otherwise not happy with themselves, how can they expect anyone else to be happy with them?

While everyone is entitled to feel bad and vent from time to time...If it becomes a continual theme, people with be turned off by it and eventually tune it (and them) out.


It runs even deeper... it's very easy to turn a blind eye at how many pretty people actually use good social skills and other talents to get what they want and how they aren't spared betrayal, illness and misfortune any more than others.

Just in my experience, people hide bitterness and envy very poorly (even NTs) while usually thinking they do a great job...


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Uri
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15 Aug 2019, 11:04 am

There's probably some truth in it.

These days if you are not handsome in looks and if you don't have a lot of money and if you're not famous chances are you are going to have a hard time to get a good-looking girlfriend.

My experience in life tells me that:

1. Pretty girls are attracted to handsome looks

2. Pretty girls are attracted to men who make a lot of money

3. Pretty girls are attracted to fame and social status.

So if you don't have any of these things then you're going to have a hard time to get a good-looking girl.



The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Aug 2019, 11:30 am

Uri wrote:
There's probably some truth in it.

These days if you are not handsome in looks and if you don't have a lot of money and if you're not famous chances are you are going to have a hard time to get a good-looking girlfriend.

My experience in life tells me that:

1. Pretty girls are attracted to handsome looks

2. Pretty girls are attracted to men who make a lot of money

3. Pretty girls are attracted to fame and social status.

So if you don't have any of these things then you're going to have a hard time to get a good-looking girl.


Not just the "pretty girls", life tells me that even most of the average-looking and even ugly women want handsome guys.



SportsGamer35728
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15 Aug 2019, 11:40 am

BenderRodriguez wrote:
Fnord wrote:
SportsGamer35728 wrote:
What is one supposed to do if they fare better romantically with minority women but have racist family?
Marry the girl and forget the family.


And you'll be much happier than the other way around!


Ok. But what if, other than that, your family will do practically anything for you?



DanielW
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15 Aug 2019, 12:04 pm

SportsGamer35728 wrote:
BenderRodriguez wrote:
Fnord wrote:
SportsGamer35728 wrote:
What is one supposed to do if they fare better romantically with minority women but have racist family?
Marry the girl and forget the family.


And you'll be much happier than the other way around!


Ok. But what if, other than that, your family will do practically anything for you?


If you have family like that, consider yourself lucky...unless of course, "do anything for you" means they are enablers



Hollywood_Guy
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15 Aug 2019, 3:18 pm

"Incel" is almost an anagram of "nice" with the "l" tacked on the 3 end. :)



Aspie1
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15 Aug 2019, 6:17 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Uri wrote:
There's probably some truth in it.

These days if you are not handsome in looks and if you don't have a lot of money and if you're not famous chances are you are going to have a hard time to get a good-looking girlfriend.

My experience in life tells me that:

1. Pretty girls are attracted to handsome looks

2. Pretty girls are attracted to men who make a lot of money

3. Pretty girls are attracted to fame and social status.

So if you don't have any of these things then you're going to have a hard time to get a good-looking girl.


Not just the "pretty girls", life tells me that even most of the average-looking and even ugly women want handsome guys.

Hmm, I wonder if there's a way to implement a charity service. That is, free or discounted plastic surgeries for ugly men, like me before age 27. (It'll be funded somehow; ignore the details for now.) It probably won't be that expensive. Most ugly men don't need a lot of facial changes to look better: a small nip/tuck around the eyes, a minor rhinoplasty, a mouth adjustment to make a better smile, etc. (In my own case, my eyes were my ugliest feature, so that's where I planned my surgery to take place.) But even these small adjustments, that are impossible to do non-surgically, will make a HUGE difference in the quality of life to those men. It ranges from more frequent dates to higher wages at work, all thanks to better looks.

If this charity system can be implemented and enough men use it, Incels will cease to exist in one generation. Red Pill won't disappear, but it'll become less popular; fewer men will turn to it to compensate for their bad looks. MGTOW will probably continue to exist at today's rates, due to the legal system heavily favoring women in much of the Western world.



DanielW
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15 Aug 2019, 6:27 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Uri wrote:
There's probably some truth in it.

These days if you are not handsome in looks and if you don't have a lot of money and if you're not famous chances are you are going to have a hard time to get a good-looking girlfriend.

My experience in life tells me that:

1. Pretty girls are attracted to handsome looks

2. Pretty girls are attracted to men who make a lot of money

3. Pretty girls are attracted to fame and social status.

So if you don't have any of these things then you're going to have a hard time to get a good-looking girl.


Not just the "pretty girls", life tells me that even most of the average-looking and even ugly women want handsome guys.

Hmm, I wonder if there's a way to implement a charity service. That is, free or discounted plastic surgeries for ugly men, like me before age 27. (It'll be funded somehow; ignore the details for now.) It probably won't be that expensive. Most ugly men don't need a lot of facial changes to look better: a small nip/tuck around the eyes, a minor rhinoplasty, a mouth adjustment to make a better smile, etc. (In my own case, my eyes were my ugliest feature, so that's where I planned my surgery to take place.) But even these small adjustments, that are impossible to do non-surgically, will make a HUGE difference in the quality of life to those men. It ranges from more frequent dates to higher wages at work, all thanks to better looks.

If this charity system can be implemented and enough men use it, Incels will cease to exist in a few decades or even less. Red Pill won't disappear, but it'll become less popular; fewer men will turn to it to compensate for their bad looks. MGTOW will probably continue to exist at today's rates, due to the legal system heavily favoring women in much of the Western world.


And what would you suggest to deal with the non-physical "Ugliness" that's the real reason behing their unhappiness and inability to find a mate?



Aspie1
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15 Aug 2019, 9:18 pm

DanielW wrote:
And what would you suggest to deal with the non-physical "Ugliness" that's the real reason behing their unhappiness and inability to find a mate?

The "non-physically ugly" men you're describing are the very Incels the plastic surgeries are meant to do away with. While a subset of them are rotten to the core from the get-go, a larger number of them become that way from prolonged repeated rejection at a young age, when they're most sensitive to it. And why does the rejection happen? Because they're ugly. That, and an easy access to an online soundboard is a dangerous combination.

While it'd be nice if everyone selected partners based on personality and not looks, it's not realistic: the heart wants what it wants. Which includes women wanting attractive men. And many men cannot meet the women's attractiveness standards, which makes them frustrated, which... you know. Plastic surgery gets around all that.

I'm not insinuating that women need to lower their physical standards. Far from it! Women have every right to select partners based on looks, as do men. If anything, I'm doing the opposite: I'm saying that ugly men should have a simple way to change their looks. So, after surgery, a man with a good personality but a formerly ugly face will find a girlfriend, as opposed to being left out in the cold. After all, "Beauty and the Beast" is fiction.



Farunel
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16 Aug 2019, 1:55 am

Simple. It's much easier to blame your luck on something out of control like looks, than a flawed personality. It also shifts blame from yourself, so they don't have to take responsibility for said flaws.



rdos
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16 Aug 2019, 2:07 am

Mona Pereth wrote:
Until the existence of these signals can be objectively demonstrated, it's not reasonable to expect the rest of us to devote time and energy to learning how to send them.


The ability comes naturally if you pursue relationships in a natural way, so no need to devote any time & energy of learning how to send them. What more NDs need to do is to let go of the idea of asking out, dating & "the more the better", and start putting more effort into fewer love interests that have some potential.



Aspie1
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16 Aug 2019, 6:22 am

Farunel wrote:
Simple. It's much easier to blame your luck on something out of control like looks, than a flawed personality. It also shifts blame from yourself, so they don't have to take responsibility for said flaws.
Ah, but that's where you're wrong. I, for once, did try to take responsibility for my flawed looks. I just didn't go through with it because of the cost and the recovery time. I took responsibility for my "personality" too, which helps me meet women to this day. I just can't talk about what exactly I read to improve myself; TOS, you know. But still, the biggest factor was me aging into my looks, thus becoming more attractive, in my late 20's.

So, by giving ugly men a straightforward, low-cost way to change their looks, rather than having it be a pie-in-the-sky idea like it is now, we'll do away with Incels entirely. The movement will cease to exist. With better looks, more men will find love. For example, if tense facial muscles make a man look ugly and creepy, the surgery will correct the muscles to make them look relaxed. If I got surgery around my creepy eyes, I'd look good at age 21, rather than cursing myself out every time I walked past the mirror and waiting until age 28 to look better.

It'd just look funny to see tons of men all walking about with surgical bandages on their faces. And escort services would lose almost all clients. But we'll get used to it.