Why do almost all 'incels' blame their situation on looks?

Post Reply New Topic

The fact he keeps seeking mistresses even though he is married does indeed point to him being frustrated. Another incel said he solicits hookers and has mentioned he does it partly to get “revenge” on women. He even wrote a guide to “whoremongering”.

Someone here actually asked me in response to feeling depressed without a girlfriend “Porn and hookers not enough?” Not only is that incredibly presumptuous, I have no desire to ever go the hooker route.

Here in NYC there are free support groups for autistic adults. Are you sure there aren't any free or lower-cost support groups anywhere near where you are? When was the last time you checked?

The incels that live in liberal areas and want to move to the Bible Belt baffle me. Even in the Bible Belt, you aren’t going to get any dates unless you are a “bad boy”. Just being a man is not enough.

Everything about the thinking of Incels baffles me. They miss the mark on absolutely everything.

Yeah, I really believe there are incels who suffer from mental health conditions, but it's obvious that many more of them are just narcissistic buttholes.

There’s one at a church but it meets Wednesday nights when I work.
All other autistic stuff cost money and is done through kindtree a for profit(apparently) group.

Oh there was another but it also meets on my work day night and I went once and was never greeted, and left to sit alone in the corner, everyone had their groups and kept to them. Such a group should have nt person leading it who makes everyone introduce each other and interact. It was all men too.

^ I had a google and found a few meetup groups in your area although they don't seem very active ( about 50 members per group ) , no recent upcoming events

Finally, someone in this thread says something I agree with...southern women do like the bad boys.

Is there any chance you'll eventually be able to work something other than evening shift? Your hours seem to cause you a lot of problems.


Not a well-run group, apparently. I'm very sorry to hear this. Alas, failure to welcome newcomers is a common problem in groups of all sorts, in my experience.


The leader doesn't need to be NT but does need to be a competent leader. Some of us are capable of being decent leaders even though we may lack other kinds of social abilities.

Here in NYC, Aspies for Social Success is led by an Aspie man who is basically a good leader (though I have some minor quibbles with his leadership style). Among other desirable leadership qualities, he's at least decent (though not perfect) at welcoming newcomers. I'm certainly not a perfect leader myself either, but I've had quite a bit of experience leading small discussion groups of various kinds and I think I'm pretty good at it. (I recently started leading a small discussion group for autistic people here in Queens.)

One thing the autistic community desperately needs, in my opinion, is more leaders. To that end we need leadership training. We also need more of us to recognize that good leadership skills may actually be easier for many autistic people to learn than some of the more everyday social arts that many of us struggle with.


This is a problem that feeds on itself, since many women don't like being, and may even be afraid to be, the only woman in a group. I try to arrive early at any support groups I attend, for various reasons; one of my reasons is so that any other woman who shows up will realize she isn't the only woman.

Admittedly I don't know the South very well, but surely this is an over-generalization?

I wonder if what's really going on here might be something more like this: Perhaps, in the South, most of those women who do like "good boys" are hard-core Christians, who hence want their husbands to be hard-core Christians too? Perhaps, due to hard-core Christian dominance, those women who aren't hard-core Christians, but who haven't put a lot of thought into their beliefs either, tend to be incoherently rebellious, hence drawn to "bad" things including "bad boys"? Perhaps the "bad boys" themselves are likewise incoherently rebellious?

Another thing that might be going on here might be simply that sociopaths/psychopaths know how to be superficially charming?

Perhaps, more generally, not just sociopaths/psychopaths but the more rebellious sorts of men tend to be more self-confident, hence more attractive (at least superficially) for that reason?

I'm frankly baffled by this entire claim about women liking "bad boys," because I've never been drawn to "bad boys," unless you count being a participant in an oddball subculture as being a "bad boy."

I think you're reading too much into my post. I was just agreeing with the person that incels are deluded if they think the American South will be better for them. They'll be competing maybe not always with bad boys per se, but rednecks who hunt and fish (I heard an incel co-worker of mine recently use the phrase "redneck Romeo" lol). Sure, it's a generalization, but what in this thread isn't?

As for oddball cultures, there are a variety of those. Tattooed bikers tend not to have trouble getting women. Larpers, on the other hand...

On the larps I've been to, gender ratio was roughly 1:1. A cultural thing?

What’s a “larp”? I must be really old lol

Life Action Role Play. You dress up like wizards and fantasy warriors, fight with foam swords, use some mechanics of magic, etc - given the roleplay is in fantasy worls. It can also be e.g. SciFi.

I agree, due to the male-to-female ratio being generally higher in rural areas than in urban areas. Also I would suspect that most men in the "incel" world aren't religious, which would put them in even less demand amongst Bible Belt women.