Turned 31 without a girlfriend. Is it time to give up?

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They IMO are normal interests, but you cannot continue to believe that a woman will come into your life at the snap of your fingers. It's unrealistic thinking and we can still help you learn how to stand up to your family who in turn want you to behave like a walking, talking stereotype.

Give up? I dunno, maybe. I just think of when I was a bit more like you and was constantly looking for that possible boyfriend and feeling I needed to attain ASAP because if I didn't by a certain time I'd be doomed or something. It made me absolutely miserable. The jealousy and loneliness sucked and I was making it harder on myself. I felt kind of desperate and that led to me making compromises and accepting things where I shouldn't. It ended up not being fair (sometimes painful too) to me or others and I regret that. If giving up seeking, for mean you means you are able to focus yourself on something else, sparing yourself some of that misery, then that might be a better option.

Short answer: You're not them and they aren't you. You must know this though, don't you? Perhaps it's more of "Why can't I be like everyone else?" that is slightly different. Why am I 'less than', why am I 'not enough" even though you can plainly see that you have things about that very well would be considered 'better" than some of those around you who seem to be having more success with just living. I can't say I have an answer as I ask myself that a lot. We are Aspie; we are too different to make others feel comfortable perhaps. But I understand the frustrating despair.


Has no love ever entered your life? Or is it just romantic love? When we shift focus of love to being more than just the romantic, it's easier to appreciate what love is already there and in turn makes the loneliness not so bad.

Pretty much anywhere you go you are going to find that a major catalyst of socializing and partying is Alcohol. How it's done may vary but it's certainly not something that just occurs in your area. Most times, as long as you have some form of drink in your hand, it is good enough. Other times, but more immature individuals are going to give you a hard time about you not drinking. But you're not the one that is likely to act like a moron and not be able to form a coherent thought in your later years now are you?


You have Thus far failed at achieving a relationship status other than single.



That might be if you're assuming people are meaning, "Physical attraction doesn't matter", when they say "looks don't matter". If I say, "looks don't matter" what I mean is, they don't have to be good looking by society's standards. Nor does my initial reaction to their looks need to be "They're hot". Perhaps that is what Lola8088 also means

I have actually tried to not think about the girlfriend issue but seeing couples wherever I go, media focusing on relationships, and family members’ relationships keep making it stay on my mind. It’s like an injury that I can’t get treatment for.



It’s made me wish I could will myself out of life. I don’t want to live past my 30’s at this rate.



I have had romantic love in my life but it was brief so it often feels like it didn’t happen. Family love is not enough for me because they always get irritated with me.

I may not suffer from alcohol related problems but being an individual hasn’t paid off for me.

I am glad my detractors haven’t posted on here. I hope it stays that way.

I'm sorry for the social minority experience. BTDT. To repeat myself in a different way: To survive --to thrive-- I had to choose what I didn't want as what I wanted and make it my own. It's far easier said then done to change focus: for me, lots of grief, loss and then move forward. There was one person who was doing amazing things in her "chosen" circumstances and said she still got twinges of grief from time to time but it lessened and she was living a life she loved. I'm trying to make that transition myself with my ASD self-diagnosis ---- embrace who I am, thrive. Once I can handle the teasing, I'll know I am more there.

It's common for romantic partners get irritated with each other. Both my exes & current girlfriend got irritated with me alot, my current still does. I got irritated with both my exes a lot as well & I still get irritated with my current. I think about the only romantic relationship most people can have where partners don't get irritated with each other from at least time to time, is a fantasy relationship in your head. It is possible for a romantic partner to not express irritation but that's usually in cases where the partner is afraid to express irritation cuz he/she is very dependent on the other or he/she is afraid of the other.

I’ve actually been told I should give up completely by someone here. She also accused me of buying into PUA or Red Pill but I do not go for those things. The ones who push for those things are usually rednecks or hip-hip thugs.

I've been called Misogynist on various forums including this one before but that was like a decade ago. Terms like PUA & Red Pill weren't as popular then. I know what you mean about the rednecks & hip-hop thugs pushing those things.

Yuck for discouragement. When it's so ridiculous perhaps it's easier to put aside? I'm fairly naïve and don't know those terms and won't bother googling them. I'll assume yuck.

Not that it's the same thing at all, but when I had infertility I hated it when folks would say "You need to stop trying" or "relax". Of course there is some truth in it, but it's incomplete and I did not find it encouraging.

I prefer: Kudos for all your efforts. I'm sorry it hasn't worked out (yet). I hope you find a way in which it days. Take care of you!

They are redneck and hip-hop thug philosophies. They want women to be subservient and perform oral sex on command to them.

Forgive me if I am wrong but isn’t infertility supposed to be permanent?

They don’t do that at all. They want me to give up because they think I am “dangerous” to women which is wrong. If anyone is dangerous to women, it’s the rednecks, hip-hip thugs, and “bad boys” who tell their girlfriends “Shut the f**k up, b***h!” and punch them.

Ironically, a lot of my detractors here behave very much like the PUAs or Red Pillers they claim to hate so much.

I noticed that people in general(Aspies, NTs, & others) tend to project their issues onto others. I know they're being hypocritical but calling them on it does no good cuz they'll just shout at you till their out of breath. I think the best option is to just ignore them & maybe report their posts if they seem trollish

Have you tried converting some of the Rednecks and hip-hoppers?

Marknis,

I am curious as to why you repeatedly post questions with the same theme? It appears that your circumstances remain unchanged yet you so strongly desire a romantic relationship. The prognosis for a romantic relationship is not very good if the circumstances do not change. You have a good idea of what your situation is and I would suggest that you take something that can be easily achieved on the list and tackle it first. Once you are victorious over that one, then go on to another. One issue at a time. You are young and have time. I understand that it is easier said than done, but be determined, be persistent in you efforts to affect change in your life and the results may surprise you.

It’s never crossed my mind to convert rednecks or hip-hip thugs.

And I wonder why you thought it was ok to side with someone (serpentari) who attacked me?